The following is satirical.
LeBron James has issued a powerful statement denouncing America’s systemic prejudice against virtue-signaling millionaires. The statement came after King James joined other athletes in a boycott of NBA games only to discover that the fans were already boycotting the games and didn’t know the players had stopped playing.
LeBron’s statement reads in part, “I used to think I was afraid as a black man to step out of the mansion in my walled complex and enter the limousine that would drive me to a stadium full of people cheering my name, but in fact I didn’t know what fear was until I faced the prospect of being completely ignored.”
“If this treatment keeps up, I could end up being just another obscure person scraping by like everyone else, which would demonstrate the ingrained prejudice in this country against face-flapping gazillionaires who kowtow to tyrants in China and then attack their own free country while in a state of complete ignorance,” he added.
“I think it’s way past time we began to consider paying reparations to people like myself, because I have a large staff of hangers-on and they’d suck me dry in about twenty minutes if I didn’t have some big bucks pouring in and was suddenly just like those whatchmacallem in the stands, fans or whatever,” he said.
The NBA boycott began when police shot an alleged woman abuser who was resisting arrest in Wisconsin.
In a comment to an admiring press, LeBron said, “This man was a saint, if you don’t count the alleged raping, and the police shot him in the back simply because he was a black man with a knife allegedly resisting arrest and trying to drive off in a vehicle with children inside.”
“And if you think that kind of bigotry is bad, just wait till you see how America treats tongue-wagging spoiled athletes with millions of dollars,” he declared.
LeBron says he hopes to start a new movement called LeBron Matters, but somehow the idea just isn’t catching on.
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