“Nashville” actress Hayden Panettiere just went public about her addiction to opioids and alcohol which devastated her career and family.
“I was on top of the world and I ruined it,” the 32-year-old actress revealed to People. “I’d think I hit rock bottom, but then there’s that trap door that opens.”
Panettiere is also a mom to a 7-year-old daughter, Kaya, who she shared with her ex, Wladimir Klitschko. She told the publication how she came to terms with her addiction and the fact that she needed help.
“I put a lot of work into myself and I had to be willing to be incredibly honest,” the “Scream 4” actress said.
“This hasn’t been easy and there were a lot of ups and downs,” she continued. “But I don’t regret even the ugliest things that have happened to me. I feel incredibly accomplished. And I feel like I have a second chance.”
Panettiere got famous at an early age and described being offered “happy pills” by someone on her team when she was just 15 years old. “They were to make me peppy during interviews,” the actress explained. “I had no idea that this was not an appropriate thing, or what door that would open for me when it came to my addiction.”
“My saving grace is that I couldn’t be messy while on set and working,” the “Heroes” star continued. “But things kept getting out of control [off set]. And as I got older, the drugs and alcohol became something I almost couldn’t live without.”
The mom of one said some of the worst years were during her stint on the hit drama “Nashville.”
“Those were really tough years,” said Panettiere, who suffered from severe postpartum depression after Kaya was born. “I could relate to a lot of those storylines like the alcoholism and postpartum depression. They hit close to home.”
The actress got candid about her experiences dealing with negative feelings after her daughter was born.
“I never had the feeling that I wanted to harm my child, but I didn’t want to spend any time with her,” Panettiere said to People. “There was just this gray color in my life.”
“I would have the shakes when I woke up and could only function with sipping alcohol,” the actress continued. In 2018, she sent her daughter Kaya to live with her ex in Ukraine.
“It was the hardest thing I ever had to do,” she said. “But I wanted to be a good mom to her — and sometimes that means letting them go.”
Eventually, the actress went to rehab, though it took longer for her to decide on sobriety as a lifestyle.
“It’s an everyday choice, and I’m checking in with myself all the time,” said Panettiere. “But I’m just so grateful to be part of this world again, and I will never take it for granted again.”