Opinion

After Reading Their Own Manifesto, Radical Anti-Americans Realize They’re Insane [Satire]

   DailyWire.com
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The following is satirical. 

Leftist radicals have released a new manifesto, declaring their righteous purposes in destroying everything and terrorizing everybody.

In a statement painted in make-believe blood on the wall of an immigrant’s shop, the radicals selflessly set aside the important business of their day, which was painting on the walls of other shops, in order to make known the beautiful future that awaits the smoldering ruin of the country.

The statement reads:

“We of the Resistance demand that nobody puts up any resistance so we can continue to be the resistance without meeting any resistance.

“We are dedicated to pushing forward a socialist agenda by gaining support from the CEO’s of multi-billion-dollar international corporations who make an absolute fortune putting out books and movies and statements in support of our agenda while they sit on their yachts waiting for us to become homeless and die.

“We radicals demand inclusiveness by excluding anyone who is not like us and seek diversity by ensuring that everyone thinks the same thing, and demand freedom by forcing everyone to agree with everything we say.

“We believe in defunding the police because Black Lives Matter and yes, when there are no police, there will be many fewer black lives but just think how much they’ll matter.

“We believe in pulling down statues of white people and black people and elks and anyone who has ever accomplished anything which just makes us feel bad about ourselves.

“We have a plan to replace inequality with equality and injustice with justice and in general with general so that we at last destroy all words that begin with ‘in’ and replace them with almost the same words but without ‘in,’ then everything will be great.

“This is our manifesto, and now that we see it in writing, we realize even we have no idea what we’re talking about and should be stopped before we hurt someone.”

More satire from Andrew Klavan: Medical Experts Declare Ghislaine Maxwell Will Have Committed Suicide When She Commits Suicide 

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The Daily Wire   >  Read   >  After Reading Their Own Manifesto, Radical Anti-Americans Realize They’re Insane [Satire]