Zuckerberg: Forget Church, Let Facebook Be Your New Community

Mark Zuckerberg, who decries building a wall to keep illegal aliens out but built a huge wall around his $100 million compound in Hawaii, has an equally wonderful idea for communities.

The 33-year-old creator of Facebook thinks the social media site can replace churches and Little League teams to bring communities together.

“It’s so striking that for decades, membership in all kinds of groups has declined as much as one-quarter,” he said during a Chicago rally for Facebook users, CNBC reports.

Zuckerberg thinks Americans are desperately searching for something — anything — to unify their lives. And he points to the large community-support groups on Facebook, saying, “That’s a lot of of people who now need to find a sense of purpose and support somewhere else.”

So, Zuckerberg wants Facebook to be the new church. But he threw those old-timey church goers a bone, too. “People who go to church are more likely to volunteer and give to charity — not just because they’re religious, but because they’re part of a community.”

“A church doesn’t just come together. It has a pastor who cares for the well-being of their congregation, makes sure they have food and shelter. A Little League team has a coach who motivates the kids and helps them hit better. Leaders set the culture, inspire us, give us a safety net, and look out for us.”

But, as usual, Zuckerberg thinks Facebook is the solution to all of the world’s problems. He wants to get 1 billion users to join Facebook communities.

“If we can do this, it will not only turn around the whole decline in community membership we’ve seen for decades, it will start to strengthen our social fabric and bring the world closer together.”

Ah, Facebook — the answer to everything. But wait. What if people just put down their iPhones and iPads and strolled over to their local church, their local homeless center, where they could volunteer their time? Nah, that’s crazy. Better to join up with a virtual community. Less fuss, and you can do it from your dank basement.

Of course, Zuckerberg won’t tolerate any conservatives banding together in communities. Facebook “routinely suppressed news stories of interest to conservative readers from the social network’s influential ‘trending’ news section,” former Facebook workers told Gizmodo.

Follow @JosephCurl on Twitter. Email [email protected].