World’s First Transparrot: Man Chops Off Ears to Look Like Bird

Ted Richards is a 57-year-old Bristol, England resident who has 6 birds: 5 parrots and a 31 year-old girlfriend named Suzannah. Suzi has both of her ears. Ted does not. In an attempt to be more like the parrots and not Suzi, he had his ears surgically removed in a six-hour operation and then gave the ear remains to a friend who promises to keep them in resin, the only way to truly guarantee they never hear anything again.

The Telegraph interviews him below…

Ted says the only problem now is keeping his glasses on. To solve this he decided to install two metal pins sticking out of the side of his head. Yep. He had to first remove working ears to then reinstall worse ears. Managerial position offerings at the city, state, and federal levels across America are now flooding his inbox.

And though this retired shoe factory worker loves his countless body modifications including eyeball tattoos, spike implants, and eventual nose to beak conversion as a way to “honor his babies” and “be different,” some question the morality of a doctor who would willingly remove working ears in what used to be an English punishment known as “cropping.”

Via The Telegraph:

Marc Pacifico, a consultant plastic surgeon and member of the British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons, slammed the surgery.

He said: “I am absolutely horrified to learn that someone has voluntarily put themselves forward for this to be done and possibly more so that he found somebody to actually carry it out.

“The sad truth of life though is that if you want something badly enough you will eventually find someone willing to do it.

“I would like to think whoever did this is not medically qualified because that would call into judgement their ethics and morals.

“As an accredited plastic surgeon you have to have a great sense of moral and ethical responsibility.

“I can only assume the ethical code and moral compass of whoever did this does not.”

It seems that after 110 tattoos, 50 piercings, a surgically split tongue, ear removal, and beak construction, the only thing left for Ted to do other than covering his flooring in newspapers is get permission from his neighbors to crap directly on their windshields.

Reporter Housecat Jones with the final word…