With Ginsburg Gone, Democrats Say They Must Destroy The Country In Order To Save It [Satire]

U.S. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, a Democrat from California, speaks during a television interview in the Russell Senate Office Building in Washington, D.C., U.S., on Friday, Sept. 18, 2020. Some House Democrats are keeping pressure on Pelosi to bring a new coronavirus relief bill up for a vote next week as they look to signal to voters that the party is pursuing a deal to bolster the economy. Photographer: Sarah Silbilger/Bloomberg
Sarah Silbilger/Bloomberg via Getty Images

In the wake of the death of Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg, different parties are preparing a response.

The Republicans say President Trump should nominate a replacement and proceed to seek the advice and consent of the Senate as prescribed by the Constitution.

The Democrats say they will burn every city in the country to the ground, terrorize innocent citizens, bring the economy to a standstill and in short continue doing what they’ve been doing for the last four months.

NeverTrumpers say they will support the Democrats because Donald Trump is a danger to the Constitution.

Republicans say they want to appoint a justice who will honor the vision of the American founders and respect the text of the Constitution as written.

Democrats say they want to appoint a justice who will interpret the Constitution as a living document on which all the living words are able to jump up and run away so they can be replaced by other living words that will exchange Americans’ God-given rights for make-believe rights like the right to kill children, the right to use other people’s money as their own, and the right to control the thoughts and actions of their fellow citizens according to any crazy race-based theory they think will serve to destroy the freedoms for which our forefathers fought and died.

NeverTrumpers say they will support the Democrats because Donald Trump is a danger to the Constitution.

The Republicans say we must proceed in keeping with our traditions and laws.

The Democrats say we must honor the dying wish of Justice Ginsburg because she is an angel now like Princess Leia at the end of The Rise of Skywalker, and so has become part of the light side of the Force, and anyone who is against her is on the dark side and must be destroyed, including the writers of the Constitution which is based on slavery or something.

NeverTrumpers say we must support the Democrats because Donald Trump icky-poo stinky-face gobbledegook bing-bong.

So 2020 continues as usual.

More satire from Andrew Klavan: BOMBSHELL: New Book ‘Bombshell’ By Anonymous Is A Bombshell Say Anonymous Sources: Anonymous

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