Weasel Demands Apology After Being Called James Comey [Satire]

The following is satirical.

Calls are growing louder for former FBI Director James Comey to be brought up on perjury charges after an Inspector General’s report revealed that he is, in fact, a weasel. Comey had repeatedly claimed that he was not a weasel, including once when he was testifying before the House Judiciary Committee, which could be seen as perjury now that the IG’s report has uncovered that Comey was not just a weasel, but a weasly weasel of extreme weasly weaselness.