The decade's most triggering comedy
Colbert, who in May said the GOP was “choosing its direction for 2022: original recipe nutballs or extra crispy cuckoo cojones,” was giddy when Democrats performed better than expected. Although Republicans are still expected to take a narrow House majority, control of the Senate is still in question.
“As a performer, there are three things you don’t want to follow: animals, children, or a fascist takeover of your country,” Colbert taunted. “These results is (sic) a crisp nut-punch to Republican optimism leading up to this election.”
Colbert continued, citing headlines he’d apparently seen on the internet.
“’The vaunted red wave never hit the shore in mid-term elections,’” he said. “‘That’s not a red wave,’ and ‘The red wave was more like a pink splash.’”
“Yes, a pink splash,” Colbert said. “It was a salmon drizzle, a rosy wash. It’s like what happens when you accidentally wash your Klan robes with your MAGA hat. It’s just a little pink wash.”
Colbert has demonstrated his contempt for conservatives many times in the past. In March, in the face of soaring gas prices devastating American consumers, Colbert mocked struggling average Joes and said it was part of the price of backing Ukraine in its war with Russia.
“Today, the average gas price in America hit an all-time record high of over $4 a gallon,” he said. “OK, that stings, but a clean conscience is worth a buck or two. It’s important. I’m willing to pay $4/gallon. Hell, I’ll pay $15 a gallon because I drive a Tesla.”
Back in May 2019, the cold open for his show opened by mocking farmers, intimating that if their finances were hurt by President Trump’s tariffs targeting China, they would lose their wives to convicts, start stripping for a living, become alcoholics, and turn to growing marijuana.
The show began by playing a clip from a CNN report that claimed President Trump’s “trade war [is] having a major impact on American farmers after talks with China have halted. Some farmers seem to be losing hope.” That was followed by a clip of a farmer who said he had voted for Trump in 2016 but would not do so again.
The show then aired a cartoon titled, “The Farmer in the Dell,” based on the famous children’s song, but this time with new lyrics, accompanied by the visuals in the cartoon:
Tariffs posed by Trump
Put the farmers in a dump
Oh no, the derry-o, the farmer’s in a slump.
The farmer lost his wife.
She wants a better life.
She ran off with an ex-convict who rides a b****in’ bike.
The farmer needs a job.
He’s stripping while he sobs.
Hi-ho the stripper pole, they’re laughing at his knob.
The farmer drinks a lot,
His liver starts to rot.
Chuggitiy-chug the winey-o
Time to start growing pot.