The following is satirical.
In a rare move, President Trump has reversed course and canceled plans to hold the 2020 G-7 Summit at the Trump National Doral in Miami. The leaders of the world’s seven most advanced economies will instead be staying at the Motel 6, 15 miles outside of Tallahassee.
The world leaders will now be able to enjoy the Motel’s free cable TV service, plus a complimentary breakfast in the lobby annex. Responding to the announcement, Germany’s Angela Merkel said she hoped they would have those miniature blueberry muffins, which she enjoyed so much last time she was there.
The decision to hold the Summit at the Doral had come under fire from Democrats who said that housing the world leaders at a luxurious well-run resort with Trump’s name on it would give people the impression that the president was a successful businessman who was capable of restoring the nation’s economy and bringing sanity to our international relations, which would in turn expose the Democrats and their mainstream media for the dishonest hypocrites and incompetents they are.
In a statement to a gathering of reporters all of whom, strangely enough, looked exactly alike and were named Chuck Todd, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said, “Holding the G-7 at the Doral would be in direct violation of the emoluments clause of the Constitution. Our founding fathers did not want the president hanging around all day using emoluments until his whole body was as soft and pink as a girl’s so that our enemies believed we were weak and were tempted to invade.”
When one of the Chuck Todds told Ms. Pelosi that she may have confused emoluments, which are profits, with emollients, which are lotions, the speaker demanded an immediate secret and unofficial impeachment investigation into James Madison and Congressman Adam Schiff announced that he had already seen enough evidence to convict Madison although he couldn’t tell anyone what it was, because it was secret, like what he did last night with his stuffed pink bear.
But that’s another story.