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Sean Penn Writes The World’s Worst Novel. Twitter Flames Him.

Intellectual Giant Sean Penn Has Written A Book That Has Risen To the Acme, the Apex, The Apogee, the Zenith of Hilariously Pompous And Puerile Writing, and Twitter had a field day on Wednesday mocking the actor’s sophomoric attempt at literary greatness.

Even The Huffington Post got snarky about Penn’s first attempt at a novel, titled, “Bob Honey Who Just Do Stuff,” summing up:

It’s a slim novel about Bob Honey, an aging septic tank entrepreneur, merkin peddler and government contract killer of senior citizens (they drain society’s resources and produce methane). Bob Honey does stuff, and he doesn’t like all the BRANDING and SELFIES the teens do these days. He obsessively hates his chubby, red-haired ex-wife, and he obsessively adores a young woman named Annie, who has alopecia and is completely hairless. After they first have sex, he requests that she use a merkin, as he’s “[n]ever one for psychosexual infantilism or pedophilic fantasy.” Eventually, President Donald Trump becomes a figure in the plot, but this happens without explanation or narrative consistency.

Here are some examples from Penn’s belletristic effort:

And now for the jokes, starting with the ever-witty David Burge:

And here’s one mocking Penn’s apparent desire to scour his thesaurus. Think “Fire and Rain.”

And an allusion to Penn’s reliance on cheap alliterative tricks:

And some helpful advice:

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