A school in New York City that charges $57,000 a year has published a guide sent to students and parents that encourages them to alter their language to conform to gender identity ideology, including pushing students to stop referring to their parents as “mom” and “dad.”
Grace Church School published a 12-page memo that encourages people to stop using certain terms that it considers to be outdated and to replace those terms with “inclusive” terminology.
The memo states the following:
- Instead of saying, “boys and girls,” “guys,” “ladies,” and “gentleman,” say, “people,” “folks,” “friends,” “readers,” “mathematicians…”
- Instead of saying, “sweetheart/honey/similar pet names” say, “child’s name or ‘child/friend in the blue shirt.'”
- Instead of “assuming gender based on stereotypes,” people should “respectfully ask how they identify if familiar establishing a culture of sharing affirming pronouns in class.”
- Instead of saying, “mom and dad,” say, “grown-ups,” “folks,” “or family.”
- Instead of saying, “parents,” say, “grown-ups,” “folks,” “family,” “and guardians.”
- Instead of saying, “husband,” “wife,” “boyfriend,” “girlfriend,” say, “spouse/partner/significant other.”
- Instead of saying, “a boy can’t marry a boy,” or “a girl can’t marry a girl,” say, “People can love and commit to whomever they please, it’s their choice who they marry.”
- “If someone articulates sexual orientation is a choice rather than an identity,” respond by saying, “who we love/are attracted to is part of who we are.”
- Instead of saying, “diverse/minority,” say, “person of color, marginalized identity/population.”
- Instead of asking, “what religion are you?” ask “are any religious/faith traditions important to you?”
- Instead of asking “What did you get for (any holiday)?” ask, “Do you celebrate holidays?”
- Instead of saying, “Merry Christmas!/Happy Holidays!” say, “Have a great break!”
After the guidelines drew attention and backlash online, George Davidson, the head of Grace Church School, pushed back against the notion that anyone was required to use the more inclusive language. “We’re not telling people not to call their parents mom and dad. That’s the silliest thing anybody ever came up with. And its not even a word police. It is rather a guide to inclusive language, if you want to use it,” said Davidson.
The brief intro to the family section of the guide reads: “Families are formed and structured in many ways. At Grace Church School, we use inclusive language that reflects this diversity. It’s important to refrain from making assumptions about who kids live with, who cares for them, whether they sleep in the same place every night, whether they see their parents, etc.”
The memo also states the following terms are “outdated” and should no longer be used:
- Colorblind—No one is color blind as it pertains to race. We see the skin tones of people and assumptions are made about how someone identifies racially.
- Caucasian—The correct term is White. White is a more accurate description of light-skinned people of European descent.
- Diverse person/student—referencing a person of color. A person is not diverse. A group of people can be diverse.
- Traditional Family—we actively try to undo notions of a “typical” or “normal” family structure, each family is unique
- “Real” parents—a preferred term is birth parents
This article has been updated to include additional information, including a statement from the head of Grace Church School pushing back on the response to the guidelines.
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