New Poll Shows Americans Trust News Media Slightly Less Than Make-Believe Prince Who Is Holding Their Inheritance [Satire]

The following is satirical.

A new poll shows the news media dead last in public trust. According to the poll, Americans have the most trust in hospitals at 93 percent whereas only 48 percent trust Congress, 36 percent trust cable news advertisers, 23 percent trust a guy who wrote to them saying he was the son of Prince Ungoozi of the Republic of Shagmandu and he was holding a multi-million dollar inheritance for them, 17 percent trust the two spooky twins from the movie The Shining, 12 percent trust the unshaven man in a slouch hat who’s been following them around for the last three days, and finally the news media is trusted by 2 percent of people running to catch their connecting flight to Philadelphia who saw a guy talking into the camera on TV but said they weren’t really listening to what he said but he seemed nice.