A mother of a 4-year-old child who refuses to disclose whether the child is a biological boy or girl and claims she let the child decide their own gender has stated that she has been accused of child abuse.
The mother, Kyl Myers, Ph.D., a native of Utah who moved to Australia, wrote in MamaMia, “I’ve received hundreds of messages and comments on Instagram and e-mails from people I don’t know, telling me my child should be taken away from me.”
“My partner, Brent, and I do something called ‘gender creative parenting,’ Myers continued. “For us, this means we didn’t assign a binary girl-or-boy gender to our child, Zoomer, at birth; we don’t disclose Zoomer’s genitals to people who don’t need to know; we used the gender-neutral pronouns they/them/their for Zoomer until they could tell us what pronouns and labels fit best; and Zoomer learns about and explores gender without stereotypical expectations or restrictions. Brent and I are just two among thousands of people doing gender creative parenting all over the world.”
“I do gender creative parenting for two main reasons. First, I believe gender is up to an individual to determine and does not need to be assigned at birth. I know a lot of people who are intersex, transgender, or non-binary,” she asserted, adding:
I, myself, am a genderqueer woman who uses they/them and she/her pronouns. While there have always been people whose gender exists beyond the socially constructed binary, in the last decade there has been an exponential rise in awareness, visibility, and affirmation of the gender spectrum. I didn’t want to make assumptions about what my child’s gender identity and interests would be; I wanted to let my kid tell me who they are, instead of the other way around. Secondly, I do gender creative parenting because I don’t want to perpetuate sexist stereotypes and oppression that children are inundated with from birth.
“Zoomer announced ‘I love he/him’ around his fourth birthday in March, declaring his preferred designation,” the New York Post reported.
Myers wrote in her blog, Raising Zoomer, “The sex does not tell us anything about the child’s personality, temperament, favorite color, dietary preferences, sense of humor, attitudes toward climate change, or any of their other unique traits. Just like the fact they have two arms doesn’t tell us anything else about them, except they have two arms. … Generally, when people know the sex of their baby, they assign one of two genders: penis = boy, vulva = girl. As soon as a baby is assigned a gender, people tend to treat them in specific, gendered ways. Gender socialization contributes to sex segregation, sex stereotypes, and micro-aggressions that result in gender inequalities in childhood and adulthood.”
She has also stated, “We simply don’t believe that is our decision to make on their behalf. By not revealing their sex, and by treating them in a gender creative way, Z will have the freedom to explore and create their own identity, outside of the restrictions and expectations of traditional gender norms.”
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