“My baby’s name WILL be a revolution,” wrote a woman on Facebook. “It will push people to question everything.”
“This is the name I was meant to give him,” the unidentified woman wrote. “This is how it will be. He will not be allowed to have a nickname, he is to be called by his full and complete first name.”
“This name conveys power. It conveys wealth. It conveys success,” she added. “If you look back in our family tree, the survival of this clan is literally rooted in squiredom. We are all related to senators too,” she wrote.
The name: Squire Sebastian Senator.
But wait, there’s good news: “No, this is not his full name,” the woman writes. “Squire Sebastian Senator is only his first name.”
Phew.
The Facebook entry was posted on the event page for the now-canceled baby shower. The post went viral after it was picked up on Reddit.
The woman ripped her family, saying: “Ya’ll have been talking sh-t about my unborn baby. AN UNBORN CHILD,” she wrote. “How can you judge an unborn child?? What is wrong with you?? I never knew my family could be so judgmental. They’ve spread rumors and lies about my child,” she wrote.
And she said she was of sound mind when she picked the name. “No, I am not crazy. No, I am not mentally unstable. No, I was not drunk when I named my child.”
She’s apparently done with her family over the criticism.
“F[**]k you all. Fake a[**] family,” she wrote. “You won’t get to be a part of my baby’s life and it’s all because you had to judge him.”
Redditors had some fun nonetheless.
“This could be the first ever child to run away from home before he’s born,” one person wrote.
“I’m gonna go the cheese route with my children. Brie, Colby, Gorgonzola…” wrote another.
“This kid is never going to find those tchotchkes with his name on it,” said a third.
But perhaps Squire Sebastian Senator will meet the daughter of another woman who recently made headlines. Traci Redford named her daughter, Abcde (pronounced ab-si-dee), and claims a Southwest Airlines gate agent made fun of the girl after seeing her ticket.