The decade's most triggering comedy
On Thursday’s episode of “The Michael Knowles Show,” Knowles talks about Elizabeth Warren’s misguided and cringey attempts to appeal to voters. Video and partial transcript below:
Get your cringe ready, just put your face into a cringe right now and lock it there so it won’t have too much shock when you listen to this. [Elizabeth Warren] just released a new Instagram video trying to look hip and cool — you know, the definition of Liz Warren — and it’s all about health care. She did it with one of the personalities from the show “Queer Eye,” who’s a very entertaining personality. They’re talking about health care, but it reveals some real weaknesses for Liz Warren.
WARREN: Hello, Jonathan. It’s Elizabeth Warren.
VAN NESS: Senator Elizabeth Warren, how are you?
WARREN: I’m good! How are you?
VAN NESS: I’m good, I’m having such a crazy day!
WARREN: I know, but I wanted to give you a call just to say thank you. I’m glad we’re gonna be in this fight together side by side. I won the endorsement, and for all the right reasons.
VAN NESS: Thank you so much. Well you know, I have to tell you when I realized it was when it was at the last debate and I was like the health insurance industry is a [expletive] racket.
WARREN: It felt right.
VAN NESS: It did!
WARREN: And that’s why we’ve got to do it. Because it is right. Health care is a basic human right, and we fight for basic human rights, not just for some of us — for all of us.
VAN NESS: I’m so excited to be should-to-should [sic] with you too. I can’t believe you called!
WARREN: We’re gonna do this.
This is so awkward, it’s so cringey. But I have to say, I really like this guy as a media personality, he’s great on camera, he’s very very funny. It’s a quite a contrast with her, because she is stiff as a board. I mean, it is so funny — you have this guy who is a professional entertainer and he’s a huge personality, is really funny, and then you have her. And she’s trying to be cool with him, and it just doesn’t work.
This is the real issue here, it just keeps her so awkward-looking. I guess the video at first, what it highlights, it’s actually a few problems. It highlights that at this time, what Elizabeth Warren needs to do if she’s really gonna be the frontrunner, is [it] shows how she relates to racial minorities, blue-collar workers, middle America, and moderates. This guy, Jonathan Van Ness, well, a very entertaining figure on television, doesn’t quite speak to those groups …
I don’t want to make assumptions here. I know these days, you can be whatever race you want, and whatever orientation you want, and gender, and probably occupation too. I’m just saying, if you’re trying to appeal to middle America, that’s probably not the guy to be cutting videos with. That is going to be Liz Warren’s challenge: If she really wants to take Biden out, she’s got to show that she appeals to more people than just the audience for “Queer Eye,” who are mostly on the coasts and are mostly white and who are mostly already with her and not with Joe Biden, anyway.
Then you’ve got the problem that she’s so stiff. If she gets on stage with Donald Trump, there’s gonna be a Liz Warren-shaped hole in the wall, because he’s gonna blow her off the stage. It reminds us of that video, that horrific video she shot, where she was sipping the first beer she’s ever had in her life I’m pretty sure, but she wanted to make it look cool and make her seem hip like [Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez] and Beto O’Rourke. So she shot a video sipping a beer and interacting with her husband [Bruce Mann], like she’d never met the guy before.
Just to refresh your memory:
WARREN: There we go. I’m glad for everybody who’s joining this video. It’s great to hear from ya. Hold on a sec, I’m going to get me a beer. I’m glad you gave me.
WARREN: Hey! My husband Bruce is now here. Do you want a beer?
MANN: No, I’ll pass on a beer for now.
WARREN: You sure?
WARREN: So, this is my sweetie.
WARREN: He’s the best, and I’m crazy about him.
MANN: I love you.
WARREN: I love you too. Thank you for being here.
WARREN: I’m glad you’re here.
It’s so awkward, she’s talking to her husband like she just met him. He’s my sweetie. I love him. Beep, beep, beep, beep, boot. Hey, my husband’s just here. Do you want a beer? Beer is what we human beings drink. Would you like one of those? [Husband responds] No, no I don’t want a beer Liz Warren. [Warren responds] Okay, I’m glad you’re here.
It’s his home, where else would he be? Don’t you people live together? Is this all a charade? Anyway, she’s gotten a little bit better with the stiffness between now and between then, rather in the “Queer Eye” video. But she’s got a long way to go. We know this about Liz Warren: She does get better, she does learn things, but she does have a long way to go, especially when you’re dealing with Mr. Personality, President Trump.