News and Commentary

Kid Rock Just Took Another Step Toward Running For Senate

Kid Rock, deciding to amp up his nascent prospective campaign for the United States Senate, released a statement on his website trumpeting the fact that his website had elicited tremendous support, and he was forming a non-profit organization to help register voters.

Kid Rock began with a statement decrying the extremes of both parties: “I was beyond overwhelmed with the response I received from community leaders, D.C. pundits, and blue-collar folks that are just simply tired of the extreme left and right bulls**t.”

He continued, “As part of the excitement surrounding this possible campaign, I decided to take a hard look to see if there was real support for me as a candidate and my message or if it was just because it was a fresh new news story. The one thing I’ve seen over and over is that although people are unhappy with the government, too few are even registered to vote or do anything about it.”

In typical populist fashion, Kid Rock decided to emulate Donald Trump’s successful anti-establishment message: “… my first order of business is to get people engaged and registered to vote while continuing to put out my ideas on ways to help working class people in Michigan and America all while still calling out these jackass lawyers who call themselves politicians.”

After declaring that he would form a 501(c)(4) – a non-profit organization for the promotion of voter registration, Kid Rock protested against media who accused him of cynically using his prospective run for the Senate to promote his merchandise. He wrote, “I can tell you, I have no problem selling Kid Rock shirts and yes, I absolutely will use this media circus to sell/promote whatever I damn well please (many other politicians are doing the same thing, they just feed you a bunch of bulls**t about it). But either way, money raised at this time through the sale of merchandise associated with this very possible campaign will go towards our ‘register to vote’ efforts.”

Then, a partisan shot: “One thing is for sure though…The democrats are ‘shattin’ in their pantaloons’ right now…and rightfully so!”

Finally, more use of profanity to show his seriousness: “We will be scheduling a press conference in the next 6 weeks or so to address this issue amongst others, and if I decide to throw my hat in the ring for US Senate, believe me… it’s game on mthrfkers. — Kid Rock.”