Germans Celebrate 30-Year Anniversary of End of Democrat Party Policies [Satire]
11 November 2019, Saxony-Anhalt, Stapelburg: Participants of a festive event stand at the border monument. There people celebrated the fall of the wall 30 years ago. The border in Stapelburg had been opened on 11 November 1989. Photo: Klaus-Dietmar Gabbert/dpa-Zentralbild/dpa (Photo by Klaus-Dietmar Gabbert/picture alliance via Getty Images)
Klaus-Dietmar Gabbert/picture alliance via Getty Images

The following is satirical.

This weekend, Germans celebrated the thirty year anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall. The wall divided the German capital between a thriving, free, capitalist West Berlin and an East Berlin so mired in poverty, lack of services and government oppression that it was almost as bad as living in California.

The wall was built in 1961 when the Soviet socialists who ruled East Germany realized that if they taxed people at the levels proposed by Elizabeth Warren, those people would leave and take their wealth and productivity elsewhere. But the socialists had a plan for that, namely anyone who tried to leave would be shot dead.

This policy continued through 1988, when Bernie Sanders honeymooned among the Soviets. So as Berliners celebrate the fall of the wall, perhaps they should also remember the good times, like when Bernie sat bare-chested with their Soviet oppressors and sang, “This land is your land, and so is Po-land, and so is Czechoslovakia and so is Hungary and so is East Germany and …” Well, you know, the rest of the lyrics.

On a side note, Bernie returned from his visit to the Soviets and said of the USSR and the U.S. — and this is a real quote: “Let’s take the strengths of both systems. Let’s learn from each other.”

Which would’ve made for an interesting country seeing as the strengths of the U.S. are freedom and capitalism, and the strengths of the Soviet Union were socialism and its necessary results: poverty, oppression, slavery and mass murder.

The Berlin Wall finally collapsed when the Soviets were confronted by Ronald Reagan, a freedom-loving president the American press hated so much they attacked him constantly and even tried to organize his impeachment. Thank heavens, that couldn’t happen today.

In fact, as we celebrate the fall of the Berlin Wall, it’s nice to know that we have learned so much about the evils of socialism, it has been relegated to the dustbin of history — and the Democrat Party platform.