Environmentalists: If You Want To Save The World, Skip Thanksgiving

The holidays wouldn’t be complete without a little guilt, and no one’s better at leveling guilt than environmentalists.

Your Thanksgiving, they’d like to remind you, is slowly destroying the climate and killing the earth. Your turkey is choking off the planet and probably leaving your children to die vying for the last can of tuna in an arid, apocalyptic landscape. Your mashed potatoes and cranberry sauce is causing your next mass extinction.