News and Commentary

Depraved Feminists Attack Lauren Southern With Urine

20-year-old libertarian commentator Lauren Southern had urine poured on her while reporting from an event in Vancouver, Canada. Speaking with feminist and leftist agitators on a rainy sidewalk, Southern took on false accusations of rape, and the left-wing precept of relative truth.

Ultimately canceled, the event was initially planned to host Augustus Invictus, a U.S. Senate candidate from Florida who describes himself as libertarian. Canadian border security denied him entrance on the ground that he “has no legitimate reason to enter the country and will just cause trouble.”

Engaging the feminist and leftist agitators on the subject of gender, Southern asserted axiomatically that there are but two genders. Distressed with this prima facie truism, the alpha agitator complained of “exclusion” given her deluded view of gender as a purely social construct.

“There are two genders biologically,” said Southern.

“Now you’re totally excluding transgender, non-binary, gender-fluid people. You’re a cisgender straight woman. You obviously, you probably have never been raped. To me, you sound like you’re are speaking from a very privileged point of view,” replied the alpha agitator.

Deploying neo-Marxist terms such as “LGBTQ community” and “transphobic,” the alpha agitator expressed her political disaffection.

Emboldened by the alpha agitator’s lead, accessory agitators joined in.

“That’s so hateful,” interjected one of the lesser agitators. “I think you’re hateful.”

Unsurprisingly, the alpha agitator then described herself as belonging to the “LGBTQ community.”

Following the depraved attack – which was cheered by the aforementioned alpha and beta leftist and feminist agitators – Southern maintained good spirits and humor.

Speaking with Breitbart, Southern suggested that she isn’t interested in pressing charges.

“I could go in and report it to the police. However I honestly don’t know if I want to waste their time,” she said. “I just had a freezing and soaking wet walk home and had to take a shower. I didn’t die. The police have better things to do with their time.”

“I don’t want the two guys who tried to grab [the protester] to get in trouble. She poured it on more than just me and nearly hit this guy in the face with the bottle so two of them went to grab her,” Southern explained. “She wasn’t hurt, but I know how easily men can get blamed for violence, even in situations of self-defense. I want to make sure they will be fine first.”

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