CURL: The Kavanaugh Case: Civilization As We Know It Is Finished

Here’s where we are, people: The country’s most respected newspaper is combing through a Supreme Court nominee’s high school yearbook in search of dirt.

His %@$^*&#$ high school yearbook!

That’s how squeaky clean Brett M. Kavanaugh is. He’s 53, went to Yale, became a lawyer, worked at the White House and sits on the U.S. Court of Appeals for the D.C. Circuit, considered to be the most important judicial body short of the Supreme Court. But in a ham-handed (and disgusting) attempt to discredit him, Democrats have gone back to his high school days.

Oh, and The New York Times thought it found something. They were ecstatic. “Kavanaugh’s Yearbook Page Is ‘Horrible, Hurtful’ to a Woman It Named,” screamed the Times headline.

“Brett Kavanaugh’s page in his high school yearbook offers a glimpse of the teenage years of the man who is now President Trump’s Supreme Court nominee: lots of football, plenty of drinking, parties at the beach. Among the reminiscences about sports and booze is a mysterious entry: ‘Renate Alumnius,’” wrote reporters Kate Kelly and David Enrich.

They deciphered the mystery, though. “Two of Judge Kavanaugh’s classmates say the mentions of Renate were part of the football players’ unsubstantiated boasting about their conquests.” Renate is, according to the Times, a woman named Renate Schroeder Dolphin.

But wait. It gets worse. So much worse. Lawyer Michael Avenatti, who is representing adult film actress Stormy Daniels in her suit against President Trump, said another entry on Judge Kavanaugh’s high school yearbook page was more graphic. “I survived the FFFFFFFourth of July,” the entry by his picture read.

Avenatti believes, according to his now-private Twitter feed that the F’s stand for “Find them, French them, Feel them, Finger them, F– them, Forget them.”

Ugh.

Want more? Oh, there’s so much more. Late-night talk show host Jimmy Kimmel took to the airwaves Monday night to say he thinks Judge Kavanaugh should have his penis cut off.

“Hear me out on this,” Kimmel said. “So Kavanaugh gets confirmed to the Supreme Court, OK? Well, in return we get to cut that pesky penis of his off in front of everyone.” A few members of the audience groaned, so Kimmel added, “No? That’s not good? I thought I had a solution there for a minute.”

Johnny Carson he’s not.

Meanwhile, Judge Kavanaugh — merely accused at this point, with two women claiming some sort of sexual improprieties 35 years ago — went on Fox News Channel with his wife to defend his honor. “I am looking for a fair process, a process where I can defend my integrity and clear my name,” he said. He’ll get that chance on Thursday, when he and at least one accuser will testify before the Senate Judiciary Committee.

Can you guess what happened next? Of course you can. Women took to social media — liberal women, that is — to deride and mock his wife, Ashley Estes Kavanaugh. “Don’t think for one second the ball isn’t completely in their hands. Ashley Kavanaugh chooses to stand in ignorance, loyalty, & whiteness by her predator man. They are NOT victims,” tweeted user @Juliawb, one of hundreds of such posts. Some were much uglier.

But that’s the new normal: When Trump announced Judge Kavanaugh as his nominee, The New York Times and the Associated Press filed requests seeking emails that Mrs. Kavanaugh sent when she was town manager of the Village of Chevy Chase Section 5 — a town of 2,100. The Times wanted any emails that contained any of the keywords “liberal,” “abortion,” “gay,” and “federalist,” NTK Network reported.

So, people, politics as we have known it is finished. Over, gone, poof. With liberals, the ends always justify the means, and with the mainstream media in their back pocket, this is the future. This. And much more of this. High school yearbooks, lopped-off penises, probing the lives of nominee’s wives.

Sounds like FFFFFFFun.

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A version of this article was previously published by The Washington Times.