The decade's most triggering comedy
Imagine being fired from your job, but then showing up day after day for years to complain.
That’s been Hillary Clinton since Election Day 2016. She lost the presidential election — not by a little, by a lot, 304-227 in the Electoral College — but she just won’t go away.
Of course, the mostly liberal mainstream media loves putting her on the air to whine about President Trump. And the Democrats, who claim to be the party of youth, just can’t move on, either, which is why Clinton was center stage on Wednesday night at the Democratic National Convention.
Hillary played her broken record once again: I actually won, Trump stole the election, you know the drill. But she added a new twist as she (sort of) acknowledged that she lost: The voters were to blame.
“For four years people have told me, ‘I didn’t realize how dangerous he was. I wish I could do it all over.’ Or worse, ‘I should’ve voted,'” Clinton said in her speech, targeting those who never showed up to support her. “This can’t be another woulda’, coulda’, shoulda’, election.”
The two-time loser then reversed course and again said she pretty much won last time around, winning more popular votes than Trump (she still doesn’t seem to understand that that doesn’t matter).
“Don’t forget Joe and Kamala can win by 3 million votes and still lose – take it from me,” she said with a laugh.
Then she called Trump a thief.
“So we need numbers overwhelmingly, so Trump can’t sneak or steal his way to victory,” she said somberly.
And then she brought out her favorite old saw, claiming that Trump colluded with Russia to influence the outcome of the 2016 election (despite the findings of a two-year, $35 million investigation, which showed no collusion).
“Vote to make sure we — not a foreign adversary — choose our president,” Hillary said.
Clinton, the queen of mendacity, also told this whopper: “After the last election, I said, ‘We owe Donald Trump an open mind and the chance to lead.’ I really meant it. Every president deserves that.”
She did no such thing.
For months — which turned into years — she blamed her loss on FBI Director James Comey, Russia, computer bots, WikiLeaks, Bernie Sanders, Facebook, Joe Biden, fake news, Twitter, voter ID laws, the vast right-wing conspiracy, sexism, Barack Obama, ageism, pervert Anthony Weiner, white women, xenophobia, black people, the Electoral College, the Democratic National Committee, misogyny, women cowed by their husbands, and even former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani (we never could figure out how a former mayor of New York City caused her to lose Wisconsin and Pennsylvania and Michigan and Florida and … all the rest).
Then Clinton got in on the whole mail-in voting debacle. “If you’re voting by mail, request your ballot now, and send it back as soon as you can. If you vote in person, do it early. Bring a friend and wear a mask. Become a poll worker.”
And like a true career politician, she made sure to scare the bejeebers out of Americans. “Vote like our lives and livelihoods are on the line, because they are.”
Maybe — just maybe — she’ll go away on Nov. 4. Or maybe — just maybe — if Biden wins, he’ll make her Post Master General.