On Wednesday, President Trump fired back at HBO’s Bill Maher after Maher delivered a mock eulogy prior to which Maher called Trump a “spectacular p****,” and concluded the eulogy by stating, “Fly free, whiny little b****. Fly free.”
Trump fired back on Twitter: “Watched @billmaher last week for the first time in a long time. He’s totally SHOT, looks terrible, exhausted, gaunt, and weak. If there was ever a good reason for no shutdown, check out this jerk. He never had much going for him, but whatever he did have is missing in action!”
Watched @billmaher last week for the first time in a long time. He’s totally SHOT, looks terrible, exhausted, gaunt, and weak. If there was ever a good reason for no shutdown, check out this jerk. He never had much going for him, but whatever he did have is missing in action!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) August 12, 2020
Before Maher delivered his mock eulogy, set in Maher’s yard with organ music, flowers, and a photo of Trump making a face, Maher mentioned funerals where Trump had not been welcome, including those of former First Lady Barbara Bush, Senator John McCain, and Congressman John Lewis, spouting, “What kind of spectacular p**** do you have to be that everyone’s last request is, ‘Make sure that a**hole isn’t at my funeral.’”
Then Maher delivered his mock eulogy:
Dear family and frenemies of Donald Trump. Some men look at the world and ask “Why?” Donald Trump looked at the world and asked, “What’s in it for me?” His generosity knew only limits, and he never once failed to put himself before others. He was a devoted father who every day tried to teach his children the wrong lessons of life: be quick to anger; never let go of a grudge; see the worst in people, and treat them all equally based strictly on how much money they make and what they look like.
So many wanted to speak here today, but couldn’t break their non-disclosure agreements, and our hearts go out to Melania, who RSVP’d, “Maybe.” Donald always said he knew she was the one the moment he saw her and said those three little words, “Add to cart.” Donald loved so many things: money, golf, lawsuits, porn stars, dictators, organized crime, and the 35% of the American people who still like him. The other 65% could go f*** themselves.
He once said that the experience of not being in Vietnam taught him the most important lesson of all: that there’s no problem so big you can’t lie your way out of it. When it came to flouting the law, he was a criminal’s criminal. And intellectually a midget among giants. A man of few words, about 100, mostly “tremendous,” “disgusting,” “strongly,” and “s***hole.” Donald Trump never met a man he liked, and yet he always suffered fools. You could tell him anything and he’d believe it. It’s painful to think he could still be with us if only his personal physician wasn’t that lady who believed medicine came from outer space.
Donald’s greatest hero, Winston Churchill, said of his own mortality, “I’m ready to meet my Maker whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.” Well, God, Trump’s your problem now. As for me personally, I guess what I’ll miss most about Don is his dull wit. He was never laughing, and when he made you laugh it was always unintentional. But as a walking parody of himself, he was a challenge to satirize and made me a better comedian for it.
Maher concluded, “He died as he lived, wearing makeup and lying in front of all of us. So fly free, whiny little b***. Fly free. May you find the peace your Twitter thumbs never could.”
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