The New York Post, whose reporters know home-towner Alec Baldwin best, had this fantastic front page on Saturday.
LIVID! FROM NEW YORK! IT’S ALEC BALDWIN.” The sub-headline was even better: “Rageaholic punches man over parking.”
The lead, like so many the Post has nailed with snarky perfection, killed:
The Bloviator strikes again! Notorious hothead Alec Baldwin slugged a driver in the face when the motorist pulled in to park at a spot that was being held for Baldwin, cops said.
“He just got into an altercation with someone over a parking [spot],” said one witness to the Friday afternoon fight outside Baldwin’s building in the Village, and would only identify himself as Albert. “It’s like a scene from ‘Goodfellas.’”
You can almost hear Baldwin saying, “Funny how? Funny like I’m a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I’m here to f**king amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How’m I funny?”
In case you were, for some reason, enjoying your weekend and not, for some other insane reason, paying attention to everything some pretentious, egomaniacal, self-absorbed Hollywood actor does, here’s what happened (according to police reports):
Baldwin star of “30 Rock” and currently playing President Trump on “Saturday Night Live,” wanted to park his Cadillac SUV in front of his Manhattan building. So, as any bazillionaire would do, he stationed a family member in an empty spot to hold it for him.
But parking in New York City is war. (See this Seinfeld clip: “You can’t just sneak in from the back like that?!”).
That, though, is just what some ninja in a black Saab did.
“When the Saab driver hopped out to feed the meter, Baldwin went ballistic on him, cops and witnesses said.”
Said the Post:
“What do you think you’re doing!” Baldwin fumed, according to another witness, a construction worker who also declined to be named. “Alec was yelling ‘Shut the f–k up!’” the hardhat added.
And then there was punching. “Yelling escalating to shoving, and finally the tantrum-throwing thespian, 60, belted the victim, 49, cops said.” Baldwin was arrested for misdemeanor assault, held for a while, then released.
Wojciech Cieszkowski, an avid runner who ran the Boston Marathon in 2013 — in which three people were killed by terrorist bombs and another 264 injured — broke his silence on Saturday to talk about the “punch.” Asked by a Post reporter how he was feeling, he said: “You know, sore, but I’ll be fine.”
But so is Baldwin. He’s fine. Because every time Baldwin does something like this, off he walks.
The Post, again:
The last time we saw Alec as his true self, it was May 2014. He was busted after unleashing a torrent of profanities on two uniformed cops who stopped him for riding his bicycle the wrong way down a one-way street in lower Manhattan.
Other greatest hits include his being booted off a flight in 2011 after he refused to turn off his cellphone while playing a game, then bashed a bathroom door in a fit of pique. His brawls with photographers smaller than he is are legendary. And then there was the gay-bashing. He called a British journo a “toxic little queen’’ on Twitter and berated a photographer as a “c—k-sucking fag.’’ (He said he called him a “fathead.’’ Right.) …
Alec has been running roughshod over ordinary people for years. But in each case, he is never punished, and his lunatic anger is never halted. He’s gotten away with it so long, regular rules of behavior simply do not apply.
Everyone (at least the liberal media) is up in arms over President Trump, saying his rhetoric prompts violence. But Baldwin (who once said to his 12-year-old [or 11-year-old daughter, he wasn’t sure] that she was a “rude, thoughtless little pig”) just keeps getting away with his violent ways, a lot like photog-punching Sean Penn.
And you can bet that Baldwin will walk on this latest charge, which he has denied.
“The assertion that I punched anyone over a parking spot is false. I wanted to go on the record stating as much,” he wrote on Twitter, saying the “negative charges” were “clickbait entertainment.”
“Fortunately, no matter how reverberating the echos, it doesn’t make the statements true,” Baldwin wrote.
Liberals couldn’t care less. Baldwin will be back on SNL in no time. Because for liberals, the ends always justify the means.