The New York Times, a former newspaper, recently ran a story with this headline: “Men, Where Have You Gone? Please Come Back.” The sub-headline was: “So many men have retreated from intimacy, hiding behind firewalls, filters and curated personas, dabbling and scrolling. We miss you.”
Now, I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “Oh, Klavan, you smoking hot hunk of hilarity, a joke is a joke, but do you really expect us to believe that that was a headline in the same former newspaper that has spent the last forty years denigrating men and marriage and promoting a sexual culture of such degrading perversion that it could only be intended to cause even a fully operational male to recoil horrified from sexual communion as if he were Ben Affleck in the moment he suddenly realized he had left the really nice Jennifer for the Jennifer with the admittedly spectacular body but with the kind of personality that could make even a fully operational male recoil horrified from sexual communion as if he’d spent the last forty years reading the New York Times?&#8221; And okay, sure, even I’ve forgotten where that sentence began, but the point is, no, I’m not making this up.
This article wondering why men had retreated from intimacy into a world of solitary stimulation utterly devoid of emotional content was written by Rachel Drucker, a woman who spent part of her career working for Playboy and its affiliated hard core porn outlets, enticing men to retreat from intimacy into a world of solitary stimulation utterly devoid of emotional content. She writes (and this is a real quote, I’m still not even making stuff up yet): “I remember when part of heterosexual male culture involved showing up with a woman to signal something — status, success, desirability. Women were once signifiers of value, even to other men. That dynamic has quietly collapsed.”
So — baffled by this mystery — the New York Times did what they usually do in such circumstances: they sent their reporters to find out what men think, by interviewing women.
<h3><a href="https://www.dailywire.com/show/the-andrew-klavan-show">WATCH: The Andrew Klavan Show</a></h3>
For instance, they spoke with Karen Screamy-Hate-Face, President of the Society for Harridans who are Intolerably Loud, or S-H-R-I-L. Ms. Screamy-Hate-Face said, “I can’t for the life of me figure out why I can’t get a date with one of these toxic snakes. I’ve got the pink hat, all the right tattoos and plenty of insight on how to make men be better than they are. What do those bastards want from me? Tenderness?”
The Times also interviewed the holder of the Guinness Book World Record for highest body count, Karen Spikenose, who told them, “Frankly, I think most men are just too sexually insecure. They’re always afraid I’m going to compare them to all the men I slept with yesterday. But really, I’m the sort of girl who usually takes each man separately. It’s more time-consuming, but I feel it makes for a more intimate seven minutes.”
And they interviewed divorce attorney Karen Crotchfangs, who told us, “I just think men don’t know what they really want. They say they want a feminine girl like me who gets all made up for a date and wears pretty dresses and lets them pay for dinner, but then the minute they see my penis they run for the hills. Sometimes without even finishing their drink.”
In the end, however, despite its considerable reportorial power, the New York Times somehow could not solve the mystery of why men no longer feel that women add value to their lives.
Now, part of our job here at the Daily Wire is to bring you the kind of material that outlets like the New York Times simply can’t provide. Like journalism. So we immediately sent our reporters out into the field, and when they didn’t come back from the field but simply went prancing off across the grass picking flowers and weaving garlands of daisies for one another’s heads, we sent out some more reporters to interview a prominent man on why he had retreated from intimacy. Unfortunately, the man just kept sobbing violently and crying out, “What was I thinking? I could have had the nice Jennifer!”
* * *
This excerpt is taken from the opening satirical monologue of “<a href="https://www.dailywire.com/show/the-andrew-klavan-show" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Andrew Klavan Show</a>.”
Andrew Klavan is the host of “The Andrew Klavan Show” at The Daily Wire. Klavan is the bestselling author of numerous books, including the Cameron Winter Mystery series. The fourth installment, “<a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1613165536?ref_=dbs_m_mng_rwt_calw_thcv_3&amp;storeType=ebooks" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A Woman Underground.</a>” His most recent nonfiction release is “<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Kingdom-Cain-Finding-Literature-Darkness/dp/0310368340/?_encoding=UTF8&amp;pd_rd_w=nMYjR&amp;content-id=amzn1.sym.bc3ba8d1-5076-4ab7-9ba8-a5c6211e002d&amp;pf_rd_p=bc3ba8d1-5076-4ab7-9ba8-a5c6211e002d&amp;pf_rd_r=133-8344803-2786917&amp;pd_rd_wg=7a8J3&amp;pd_rd_r=5791ea0f-6d96-4732-9d6a-3a4e6b348bb5&amp;ref_=aufs_ap_sc_dsk" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Kingdom of Cain: Finding God in the Literature of Darkness.</a>” (May 2025, Zondervan/HarperCollins). Follow him on X: <a href="https://x.com/andrewklavan" target="_blank" rel="noopener">@andrewklavan</a>
The views expressed in this satirical article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of The Daily Wire.

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If you aren’t on X — or Twitter, if you insist on deadnaming it — you will often be surprised to learn about the kinds of things people are arguing about on that platform. In many cases, the debates do not resemble anything that anyone outside of the site is talking about. These debates are often insular and parochial. Groups of people will get into heated disputes that last sometimes for weeks or months or longer, and yet which have no relevance beyond the confines of the platform itself.
I’ll give just one example of millions. Among Right-wingers on X, there has been a long running and quite tedious quarrel over the term “Woke Right.” Various groups of conservatives are accusing each other of being “Woke Right,” as they debate what the term means, and whether it describes anything real. I don’t know where this “Woke Right” idea comes from, but I do know that I’ve never heard a single soul in the three dimensional, physical world ever use the phrase or express any opinion on it one way or another. There are relatively prominent conservatives on X who have spent months locked in combat over a concept that has no real political or cultural relevance whatsoever. Nobody cares about it but them. Needless to say, there are a great many examples of this sort of thing. And even less do I need to say that I have myself been guilty of arguing about things on X that nobody outside of the app cares about. I might even sometimes be the one starting the argument, admittedly.
However, not every debate on X is so trivial. Sometimes the conversation is relevant beyond social media. Sometimes it reflects what’s actually happening in the world. Sometimes — more often now in the Elon era — a debate on X is actually important. And this week there has been one of those kinds of arguments — another round of it, anyway, as this has been a long running dispute. It’s important enough to write about here. And it will lead me to a very crucial point that I want to make, especially for younger people.
The debate revolves around the economic situation that young people in particular are facing today. One side of the argument says that although it is a challenging landscape for young people who are just starting out in the world, the best thing they can do is get an entry level job somewhere and work their way up in the world from that starting point. The other side says that this “bootstraps” mentality is obsolete. Young people have been totally screwed. They can’t just get a job and work their way up. And, they say, telling a young person to go work some low paying customer service job is insulting and out of touch. The game is rigged. American jobs are being stolen en masse by foreigners. The American dream, says this side of the debate, is effectively dead. Therefore the old school “go out there and work your way up the ladder” approach is simply to antiquated to be useful.
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As you already guessed, out of the two camps, I tend to fall more into the former. Although the latter camp isn’t wrong about many of the fundamental points they’re making about the system as it&#8217;s currently constructed. I’ll get into that in a moment. 
First, let’s take a look at how this exchange is playing out. I think the debate may be best encapsulated by this. <a href="https://www.dailywire.com/topic/christopher-rufo">Chris Rufo</a>, in a series of tweets a couple of days ago, <a href="https://x.com/realchrisrufo/status/1878855931318198421" target="_blank" rel="noopener">wrote the following</a>:
<blockquote>Every generation has challenges. We currently have huge problems with the cost of housing and a splintering culture, but the economy is strong, incomes have never been higher, trades are hiring apprentices straight out of high school, and tech has enabled a wave of entrepreneurship and high-income &#8220;email jobs&#8221; from anywhere on Earth. We should remember that the Boomers, whatever their faults, had to make their way in a much poorer America and had to navigate war, stagflation, recession, and high interest rates. It&#8217;s never a cakewalk. We should work to provide opportunity for our kids, but should also remind them to be grateful for the opportunities they have. I didn&#8217;t make $50,000 a year or own a car until I was 30, then, after years of struggle in a creative field, things paid off. I could live in Seattle or New York or DC, but choose to live in a small town. It&#8217;s all a tradeoff, and one can make a good life in almost any metro area in the US.</blockquote>
In a follow up, he posted a job listing from Panda Express:
<blockquote>This is basically &#8220;full employment.&#8221; The Panda Express near my house is offering $70k/yr plus benefits for the assistant manager. You can make $100k/yr working at Chipotle for a few years and working up to store manager.</blockquote>
A prominent account that goes by the handle &#8220;Bronze Age Pervert&#8221; responded in a way that I think captures the general attitude of the other side of this argument. 
He wrote:
<blockquote>This is an absurd thing to post. This environment is the worst in decades and maybe ever in America to build wealth through any normal career. It’s the worst work environment and worst prospects for wealth accumulation ever. For a young person it’s next to impossible in fact even with the best degrees and “elite” job. It’s absurd and a joke to see conservative pundits, who work as writers and commentators in media and aren’t frankly exemplars of Protestant capitalist enterprise recommend working at Chipotle and UPS for a few smart young right wing men who are deploring decades-long trends. Maybe you’ll care to also give them advice on manning up and marrying a local sweet girl/highschool sweetheart.</blockquote>
The debate spiraled from there. A writer named Aaron McIntyre agrees with Bronze Age Pervert. He posted: 
<blockquote>If you are worried about Andrew Tate&#8217;s influence on young men telling them to climb the fast food ladder probably isn&#8217;t the move.</blockquote>
Another commentator named Scott Greer chimes in with a similar sentiment: 
<blockquote>Conservatives wonder why young men turn to Andrew Tate when they tell the same demographic to be content with fast food work and marrying much-older single moms.</blockquote>
Someone else gave his perspective. He said that it is possible for a young person to get started and succeed even in this tough environment. He offered the example of his own 22-year-old son, who he said has a job at UPS making $70,000 a year. He’s about to marry his girlfriend who is ten years older.
To that, someone else, in a post that has 27,000 likes, said: 
<blockquote>Poor kid is grinding, about to marry a 32 year old, living in his dad’s basement, stuck in a dead end job. He will likely never have kids or own a home. Imagine how out of touch you have to be to post this proudly. This is losing. But boomer dad imagines everything is ok.</blockquote>
Mike Cernovich is on the other side. What we might call the bootstraps camp. He thinks — and so do I — that work is not supposed to be fun. It’s not even necessarily going to be fulfilling. But you have to do it because that’s life and always has been. He wrote: 
<blockquote>You’re supposed to hate your job. That’s why it’s a job. Someone pays you because they don’t want to do it. Most of us had s*** jobs. It’s nothing special. You’re not a snowflake. Fight Club and Office Space covered this decades ago. Work sucks. This isn’t new.</blockquote>
But it’s this reply to that post that I think best captures the essence — and the fatal flaw — in the, I guess, anti-bootstraps position. Someone responded: 
<blockquote>The reason why jobs were worth it is that you could afford a home in a nice high trust society and support a family. Why do it now? I will not be reduced to an f-ing serf.</blockquote>
Jobs are not worth it, he says. Jobs make you a serf. This is why it’s worth talking about this very online controversy. It’s not just online. It seems clear to me that a lot of demoralized young people feel exactly this way. They think jobs aren’t worth it. There’s no point in even trying. They have it harder than anyone has ever had it. It’s hopeless. Everything is unfair. And so on. 
These young people are being encouraged down this hopeless road by people who are considered intellectuals on the right, like Bronze Age Pervert, who we recall said that today’s work environment is the worst ever — the worst ever, in history — and that it is “next to impossible” to become successful and accumulate wealth. They’re told by these supposed thought leaders that they should ignore anyone who even suggests that they start off in a low paying job working customer service or something similar. And a lot of young people — especially young men — have heeded this advice, to their own detriment.
So here’s what I want to say, after this very long preamble where I unfortunately had to give you a blow by blow account of a Twitter war. I acknowledge that young people face serious challenges starting out in the workforce. I can clearly see and do not deny that it is harder than it should be for a young man to get into a stable career, buy a house, and start a family. I agree that we are importing foreigners to take American jobs. That is hideously evil and unfair. I am in favor of any policy that puts an end to that scam. I agree with the anti-bootstrappers on that point. They will hear no argument from me.
Okay. Once we’ve agreed on that, what then? What is a young adult supposed to actually do tomorrow? This is the question that matters. It’s the question that, in these kinds of conversations, most people just skip over. It reminds me of my frequent debates with the Red Pillers and Manosphere where they declare that the dating scene is a disaster and young men have no hope of meeting a quality woman and building a stable family. My question to them is always the same: What do you want these young men to do then? What do you want them to actually do with their lives? Give up and die alone? What do you want them to do?
I ask that here as well: What should they do tomorrow? I’m not asking what the president should do or what congress should do or what government agencies should do. I’m asking what the actual individual human beings we’re talking about here — the newly minted young adults — should do. They will wake up in the morning and brush their teeth and eat breakfast — and then what? That young man who is 22-years-old and has no job. If you believe it is deeply insulting to suggest that he should go apply at Panda Express or UPS, what do you want him to do instead? What do you recommend? What is your plan?
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Complaining about it incessantly on Twitter is not a plan. Calling for policy solutions is fine and I agree that we should work on those. But what about tomorrow? What is the demoralized young person supposed to actually do in his life tomorrow? Don’t deflect. Don’t tell me about the H1-B program. I think we should abolish it. I don’t want to import any foreign labor at all. But a young man who wakes up in the morning can’t abolish the H1-B program. That’s not something he can accomplish tomorrow. So what should he do? Should he post about abolishing it? Fine. That takes about 60 seconds. Let’s give him 30 minutes for a series of tweets about H1-B visas. Okay. What next? How&#8217;s he spending the rest of his day? If you have no answer to that question, then your contribution to this conversation is worthless. You have nothing of value to offer to this young man.
Here’s what I say. I say that he must get up onto his feet in spite of it all and begin to pursue his goals one small step at a time. He must get the best job he possibly can, which will almost certainly not be a very good job or a very fun job. But he is not in a position where he can afford to worry about what is fun. He has to work as hard as he can to achieve what he can. He must gain experience and establish himself. And if he’s just starting out in the world, the best job is whatever job he can get. You have to start somewhere. And a job is better than no job.
He has a difficult road. Every young man in his position throughout the entire history of the Earth has had a difficult road. Life itself is a difficult road. Is his road more difficult than the road that young men of my generation had to walk? Perhaps. I entered adult life right around the time of a great recession and housing market collapse. It wasn’t exactly an easy path. I worked many awful customer service jobs that I hated with every fiber of my being. My hatred of them fueled me even more. I was more determined to become successful so that I would never again have to work the kind of job where you wear a name tag and get paid by the hour. But I had to work those jobs in order to get to a point where I didn’t have to work those jobs. That’s how it goes. So I am not recommending that anyone do anything that I have not already done. Is it harder now? Maybe. Is it harder than it was for the Boomers when they were just starting out? Probably, although I think the comparison is overstated.
Is it the hardest ever? Is a young person in America today facing “next to impossible odds” and unprecedented hardship? Of course not. That is an absurd suggestion. If you are a 22-year-old man today, you may have it a bit harder than your parents and grandparents, but that is as far as it even theoretically goes. World history did not begin in 1955. No matter what, you and I and our parents all had it and have it easier than the vast majority of human beings who have ever existed on the planet. We are all in the top 1% of the easiest lives ever lived. Which is why, even with all of our problems, you wouldn’t want to live anywhere else on the planet today. And if you had a time machine, the farthest you might want to go back is the middle of the 20th century and no farther. And if you did go back even that far, you would almost certainly discover that it was not the cakewalk you imagine it to be.
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None of this diminishes the difficulties that you, as a young person, are currently experiencing. I only mean to put it in context. The context is important. Because if you think that nobody has ever had it harder than you, you may be justified in wondering whether success is simply impossible in your case. After all, no one has ever succeeded against odds so great as what you are facing. But the point is that many millions of people have succeeded against odds many times greater. This should inspire you, not offend you. Either way, my message to the young man is that he has to get up and walk. Even if he did have the hardest life anyone has ever lived on this or any other planet. Still I would say, well then, get up and move forward. What else are you going to do? Lie down and die?
My attitude is condemned by some Right-wingers whose doomerism has now descended to a point where they will call you a traitor for suggesting that a young man has any agency at all in his life. They want to hear nothing but misery porn and hopelessness. Anything else makes you a Boomer cuck. That’s because they don’t actually give the slightest damn about the young people they pretend to be speaking for.
Instead we end up with the “solution” (which I’ve seen repeated in different forms countless times) offered by the commenter I mentioned earlier. Jobs aren’t “worth it,” he says. He will not be a serf. Instead he will, presumably, live off of the government or his parents. But here’s the problem: that’s not how you escape being a serf. That’s how you become one. You are volunteering for a life of failure and servitude. Working at Panda Express is beneath you, but to eat it for lunch on your dad’s dime because you refuse to support yourself is not beneath you?
That makes no sense.
So again I ask: what is your plan? What are you going to do tomorrow? Some people like to mock the “bootstraps” mentality but they have given young people precisely zero alternatives. They have not given them any idea of what they should do tomorrow. And to me that is the most important and useful question here. What should you do tomorrow? My answer is simple. Tomorrow you should get up, put on your shoes, and get started.

North Carolina Works Job And Resource Fair Ahead Of Initial Jobless Claims

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The <a href="https://www.thecrimson.com/article/2024/11/25/oved-president-harvard-republican-club-never-better/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">original version</a> of this article ran in The Harvard Crimson on November 25, 2024. Republished with permission.
* * *
That just <a href="https://features.thecrimson.com/2021/freshman-survey/lifestyle-narrative/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">5.2 percent of my class</a> at Harvard admits to being Republican is no secret — it was the statistic published in The Crimson’s annual incoming freshman survey for the Class of 2025. But the fact that many of the remaining 94.8 percent actively try to ostracize and dissociate from conservatives on campus — while also not a secret — is vastly more disturbing.
In the wake of President-elect Donald Trump’s resounding victory on November 5, students took to social media platforms like Sidechat, an anonymous social media platform, to lambast their peers who simply voted for Trump.
“No matter who wins tonight, the fact that so many vote for Trump is f*cking terrifying,” read one post, which was upvoted by 407 Harvard students. Other students called conservatives at Harvard “freaks,” “misogynists,” “fascists,” and the “stupidest people on campus.” Some even told them to “unenroll please, it’s frankly embarrassing.” Most damning was a post which read “Accept the consequences of your beliefs. Want lower taxes, take social alienation.”
Notwithstanding these petty efforts to undermine and intimidate campus Republicans into suppressing their viewpoints, as president of the Harvard Republican Club, I can state unequivocally that it has never been a better time to be a Republican on campus.
Since my election as HRC President just one year ago, our student mailing list has grown exponentially from 100 to over 800 — more than 10 percent of Harvard’s student body. We’ve rolled out a <a href="https://www.thecrimson.com/article/2024/10/8/iop-launches-conservative-mentorship/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">career mentorship program</a> and an Alumni Advisory Board, we’ve significantly increased the number of events hosted, and we’ve dramatically increased the average attendees at these events over seven-fold from less than 20 to almost 150.
This rapid success is due, in no small part, to the HRC hosting a wide array of high-profile speakers who espouse views across the conservative ideological spectrum — from businessmen like PayPal co-founder Peter A. Thiel and <a href="https://www.thecrimson.com/article/2024/10/30/palantir-ceo-republican-club/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Palantir co-founder Joe Lonsdale</a> to former ambassadors like <a href="https://www.thecrimson.com/article/2024/11/8/trevor-traina-harvard-republicans/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Trevor Traina</a>, think tank leaders like Heritage Foundation President Kevin D. Roberts, former governors like Asa Hutchinson, former Secretary of Homeland Security Chad F. Wolf, and Cabinet nominee Robert F. Kennedy Jr. ’76.
While I may not agree with every mentor or speaker’s opinion, their diverse perspectives and ideas reflect the broad, open-minded, and welcoming organization the HRC has built over the past year.
It was a similarly broad coalition that propelled Trump, whom we proudly <a href="https://www.thecrimson.com/article/2024/7/2/harvard-republican-club-donald-trump-endorsement/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">endorsed in July</a>, to a spectacularly decisive victory — a group of people with varied ideas about America’s future united behind their Republican identity.
Of course, the success of any political movement hinges on engaging others who may not agree with a cause, convincing them to ultimately view it positively.
This is particularly true at Harvard, where some of my peers have likely never actually engaged with a conservative. From their first year on campus, many often self-isolate into groups that reinforce their opinions. These students’ perceptions of conservatives are borne exclusively from what their media of choice feeds them, and thus our purportedly “educated” student body blindly associates Republicans with every negative “ism” they have been taught to embrace.
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Over the past year, the HRC has seen a record number of self-identified Democrats attend our events and use our resources. We’ve facilitated important conversations across party lines (including a debate between Republicans and Democrats at Visitas) and brought a diverse set of perspectives to those who sought them out.
Our success — like the national Republican Party’s success — is contingent on a diverse coalition only possible when we embrace heterogenous opinions and allow for robust conversations. Just look at Trump’s new Cabinet: It includes many former Democrats, including Kennedy and Representative Tulsi Gabbard (D-Hawaii). Those surprised by Trump’s victory earlier this month might assume that Republican life at Harvard is dead. But that couldn’t be further from the truth.
Our events are more than well attended, our speakers top-tier, and our energy through the roof. And perhaps most importantly, many Republicans are willing to openly embrace their values on campus, despite the aforementioned social media posts.
I encourage those interested in stepping out of their comfort zone and challenging their preconceived notions about conservatives to take advantage of the movement we’ve built. Instead of attempts at name-calling, intimidation, and ostracization, seek out Republicans. Listen to what they believe. Heck, even argue with them if you want. But at least engage with their ideas on a meaningful level. You might just learn something.
* * *
Michael Oved ’25, an Economics concentrator in Adams house, is president of the Harvard Republican Club, and chair of the Conservative Coalition at the Institute of Politics.
The <a href="https://www.thecrimson.com/article/2024/11/25/oved-president-harvard-republican-club-never-better/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">original version</a> of this article ran in The Harvard Crimson on November 25, 2024. Republished with permission.
The views expressed in this piece are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of The Daily Wire.

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We have talked a lot over the years about the decline in the birthrate and the rapidly increasing number of young adults who are refusing to get married and have children. As much as we’ve discussed the subject, we still have not discussed it enough. It is one of the great crises facing our civilization at the present moment. When a society gives up on having children, it has given up on its future, given up on itself.
Of course, plenty of people are still having children. We haven’t entered full on &#8220;Children of Men&#8221; territory quite yet. Our population is still growing, just as the population of the world is still growing. But that growth is slowing. And we have long since crossed the crucial threshold where our fertility rate is now below replacement level. We are no longer having enough babies to replace older people as they die off. As a consequence, our population itself grows older and more top heavy. All kinds of complications follow form this, and those complications quickly turn into catastrophes. 
We have discussed many aspects of this problem. But it’s a problem so deep and all-encompassing that there are always going to be new dimensions to explore. A few days ago, the New York Times, engaging in another random act of journalism (as Rush Limbaugh used to call it), published a piece homing in on a facet of the birth rate decline that, until now, hadn’t gotten much press, if any at all. The <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2024/11/11/well/family/grandparent-grandchild-childfree.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener">article is titled</a>: “The Unspoken Grief of Never Becoming a Grandparent.” The piece, by Catherine Pearson, has gotten a decidedly mixed reaction. Some people — myself included — found it to be a profoundly sad yet very empathetic and very interesting look at a group of people who are suffering in a unique way from our society’s plummeting birth rate. But other people were angry and offended, for reasons we’ll talk about in a moment. 
First let’s read a bit of this: 
<blockquote>“Lydia Birk, 56, has held on to her favorite copy of “The Velveteen Rabbit” since her three children — now in their 20s and 30s — were young. 
She loved being a stay-at-home mother, and filled her family’s home with books. (All of her children could read before they started school, Ms. Birk recalled with pride.) She hoped one day to be a “cool” grandma who would share her favorite stories with a new generation. 
But none of her children want to have kids. And though that decision is “right for them,” Ms. Birk said, it still breaks her heart. “I don’t have young children anymore, and now I’m not going to have grandchildren,” she said. “So that part of my life is just over.” 
Like Ms. Birk, a growing number of Gen Xers and baby boomers are facing the sometimes painful fact that they are never going to become grandparents. A little more than half of adults 50 and older had at least one grandchild in 2021, down from nearly 60 percent in 2014. Amid <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2024/07/31/health/fertility-births-vance.html">falling birthrates</a>, more U.S. adults say they’re <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2024/07/25/well/mind/child-free-adults-pew-study.html">unlikely to ever have children</a> for a variety of reasons, chief among them: They just don’t want to.”</blockquote>
The article continues with more anecdotes along these lines. I won’t post them all here. But you should read them for yourself. They’re quite sad. And quite illuminating. There are many older people these days with children who swear they will never have children of their own. The reasons they give for remaining childless are all very similar. They point to the economy, the state of the world, climate change, and so on. None of them feel they have any obligation to have kids and carry on the family name and the bloodline. They are thinking only about themselves and what would make them most comfortable. And they’ve decided that they are most comfortable being childless and alone. Their parents will just have to deal with the loneliness and grief. That’s the general attitude.
<h3><a href="https://www.dailywire.com/episode/ep-1486-the-matt-walsh-show" target="_blank" rel="noopener">WATCH: The Matt Walsh Show</a></h3>
It’s also the attitude of many commenters on this article. There’s plenty of sympathy for the would-be grandparents. But there’s also a lot of this sort of thing: 
<blockquote>Boo hoo.  Get over yourself.  I chose not to have children.  That is/was my choice, which was clear from day one with my spouse.  He married me on those terms.  I am not responsible for my parents&#8217; happiness, they are.  They tried to guilt me into it during the first few years I was married but eventually gave up.  It was never their choice to make.</blockquote>
A similar message in this comment: 
<blockquote>I feel it is extremely self centered of any person who expects others to make decisions that will make them happy. Too many parents try to live their lives vicariously through their children. Children do not owe their parents everything. Besides, many of us were forced to babysit our younger siblings. I had 18 years of watching my 3 younger siblings AND having to work in my mother&#8217;s day care center! My God, if I had had my own children I would have ended up spending my entire life raising children. My purpose in life is not to watch/raise children. With the recent parental theory/practice of making the oldest child the &#8216;third parent&#8217; (making them help raise their younger siblings) you can expect that more people will reject parenthood when they become adults.</blockquote>
I have to clarify one thing here. It is a not a “recent theory” that older children should help care for their younger siblings. This is in fact how all human societies have worked since the dawn of our species. This commenter is suggesting that “more people” are rejecting parenthood because they were raised in the same way that billions of humans have been raised since time immemorial. This is a common theme. People with absolutely no understanding of human history have decided that the challenges they have faced are utterly unprecedented, when in fact they haven’t dealt with a single thing that billions of other people haven’t also dealt with. And those billions of people had families in spite of it.
In any case, this article also went viral on X. The commentary there was very similar. 
A couple of examples: 
<blockquote>Unspoken? my parents never shut the f up about wanting grandkids. dont f up the economy for your children and then get surprised when they can&#8217;t afford kids.</blockquote>
Another one says: 
<blockquote>These grandparents should have built enough generational wealth so their kids would feel financially secure enough to start a family. &#8220;The unspoken grief of not being a trustfund nepobaby who can easily support a family.”</blockquote>
Obviously we hear this excuse constantly. We’re told that people aren’t having kids today because “the economy” makes it impossible. This person blames the brith rate decline on a lack of “generational wealth.” Let me reiterate a point I made on Twitter/X, which seems to have upset a lot of people. Now I’ll upset them again. The economy is not preventing anyone from starting a family or having children. I am not denying that the economy is in poor shape at the moment. But that is not a good reason for a society to give up on the family. If anything, it’s all the more reason not to give up.
You don’t need “generational wealth” to start a family. I didn’t have any generational wealth when I started mine. Many of you are familiar with my story. I was broke when I got married. The economy wasn’t exactly humming at the time either. We were just climbing out of the Great Recession. I was living in an apartment on a meager salary. So broke that I frequently had to pay for gas with the spare change in the cupholder in my car. We weren’t in much better shape when we had our first two kids. We didn’t buy our first house until we already had three kids. You do not need to be rich to start a family. You do not need to come from a rich family. You do not need a strong economy. Economies ebb and flow. They go up and they go down. If you ever have kids, it is guaranteed that you will have kids during a weak economy. It may be strong now, but you’ll still be a parent ten years from now when it dips again. It may be weak now, but you’ll be a parent ten years from now when it’s stronger. This is how economies work.
It’s why you can’t wait around for the economy to permit you to move on with your life and do the things that you are meant to do as a human being.
I share my own story as an example because it’s my story, but because I want you to know that I’ve actually done the thing I’m advocating for. But of course even at my brokest point I was still &#8220;rich&#8221; compared to the vast majority of humans who have ever lived on Earth. You, right now, no matter what your financial situation, are richer than almost everyone who has ever lived. People with fewer resources than you have been reproducing since the beginning of human civilization. Literally billions of people have done the thing that we are now told can&#8217;t be done unless you have $100,000 in savings. If people had this attitude in the past, the human species wouldn&#8217;t exist anymore.
So, you can’t afford to start a family? How can that be? How can it be that you can’t afford it, and yet billions of people have afforded it with less? How is it that you &#8220;can&#8217;t&#8221; do something that has been done under more difficult circumstance billions of times? I am often told by younger people that the situation now is just too difficult, everything is too expensive, I just don’t understand, I can’t relate. It’s like they think the history of the world started 45 minutes ago. If you think the challenges you face today are so unprecedented that they mean we should stop reproducing as a species then you simply have no understanding of world history. You don’t know what the world was like. You don’t know what your ancestors had to deal with. You don’t even know what people ten years older than you had to deal with.
People have been through recessions, depressions, famines, wars, catastrophes of all kinds. And they continued having children. They continued building families. Sure, fertility rates have gone up and down over the years and decades. But there has never been a time when mass amounts of young adults have simply sworn off parenthood altogether. That has never happened until now. 
Do you really think you face greater hurdles than your great great grandparents did during the Great Depression? Do you really think it’s harder to have a family now than it was when the Black Death was wiping out a third of the population of Europe? Yes, these days young families may struggle to buy a starter home. I did, too, in my early 20s. If there was ever a time when it was easy for someone in their 20s to afford a nice home, that time lasted for like 30 seconds 40 years ago. It was never like that before, and hasn’t been like it since. Get over it. Most people in the history of Earth could never dream of living in any kind of home at all. In fact, for most people who’ve ever lived, the greatest challenge in starting a family was that half of their kids wouldn’t live past infancy. And yet they still started families. They still forged on.
<h3><a href="https://www.amiracist.com/?_gl=1*jtghwp*_gcl_au*ODQ1NjYzNTg2LjE3Mjg5MDk3OTE.*_ga*MTc2NzM0NDQ2NS4xNzI4OTA5Nzkx*_ga_CZKR9ZYKJP*MTczMDEyMDgwOS40OS4xLjE3MzAxMjA4MzkuMzAuMC4w" target="_blank" rel="noopener">MATT WALSH&#8217;S &#8216;AM I RACIST?&#8217; NOW STREAMING ON DAILYWIRE+</a></h3>
The truth is the economy isn’t stopping anyone from having kids. It’s not that they can’t afford it. It’s that they don’t want to make the sacrifices it requires. They’d have to give up a certain measure of comfort in order to start a family, and they don’t want to do that. For most of the people who say they can’t afford kids, that’s what they mean. That’s how we can end up in a situation where someone “Can’t afford kids” even though they are wealthier and more comfortable than billions of people who somehow could afford kids. 
What they really mean to say is they can’t afford the same level of luxury and comfort while also having kids. This is not a matter of affordability. It’s a matter of priority. A lot of people today prioritize their own pleasure and enjoyment over anything and everything else. 
The irony, of course, is they so often end up with far less pleasure and enjoyment than people who don’t prioritize it. The truth is you can start a family and have kids and then down the line end up far richer than you were when you were childless. I’m a testament to that. Millions of other examples are available. But one of the most basic realities of life is that if you want more, you have to be willing to risk what you already have. You have to put your chips on the table. If you won’t do that, you’ll be stuck in exactly the spot you’re in right now forever. Until eventually you lose that too. 
That brings me to the final point I want to make. We heard those responses to the New York Times article from people who insisted, quite indignantly, that they don’t owe it to anyone to have kids. But actually, you kind of do. Nobody will tell you this. 
Nobody will talk about the obligation to start a family. The idea that any of us have any obligations at all is of course anathema to the modern mind. We are deeply distressed by the thought that we owe anything to anyone, ever. But you can be distressed all you want. I’ll say what no one else will say to you: You do actually owe it. You have a duty. There are exceptions. Some people are called to a life of service apart from biological parenthood. Some people simply can’t have kids. There are other vocations human beings can have. But most of us are called to start families. And for those of us who are called, we do owe it, we do have a debt to pay.
Your ancestors suffered and bled and died to build the civilization you live in now, and give you all of the comforts and luxuries you take for granted. They lived lives that were, by our standards, brutal and short and impoverished. They built their lives by hand, from scratch. They built this civilization from scratch. You think you can’t afford children. You have a grandfather not all that far back in your lineage who built a one bedroom cabin by hand and shared it with your grandmother and 8 kids, one of whom gave birth to the person who gave birth to the person who gave birth to you. You experience more comfort and luxury in a single day then that man did in his entire life. His life would have been easier if he never had kids. But he had them, because he wanted you to exist. He was actually thinking 100 years into the future — 200 years, 300 years. You come from a long line of people who actually cared about what the world would look like in the distant future, even as you only care about what you’re going to have for lunch this afternoon.
You don’t have just one grandfather like that. Your bloodline was carried on through the centuries by men and women of this type. They carried your family name and your lineage and your history and everything that makes you, you — they carried it on their backs, and suffered for its sake. And now after all of that, after those thousands of years of struggle and strife just to bring you into this world, you’re going to shrug your shoulders and refuse to continue. They ran marathons, handed you the baton, and you’re going to just sit down in a lawn chair and say, “Sorry, you all wasted your efforts. The race ends here. I don’t feel like running.” You’re going to wipe out your lineage and bloodline just so that you have more time to watch Netflix? Thousands of years of toil end with you, by your own choice, because you just can’t be bothered. That is a failure of historic proportions. It is a failure to live up to your obligation. Because yes you have an obligation to the people who built this world — you have an obligation to continue what they built.
I’m not saying this is the most compelling argument. To a lot of people these days, the idea that they should have any respect for their ancestors, much less that have any obligations to them, is totally foreign. I realize that. We are a culture severed from its own past, living a perpetual state of now, as though the past never happened and the future will never happen. That’s how you end up with people who act as though they’re facing unprecedented financial hardships because they can’t afford to buy a three bedroom house at the age of 23. I understand all of that. But what I’m saying is still true, all the same.
So if your parents are sad that you aren’t giving them any grandchildren, this is why. They have every right to be sad. They are mourning not only their own loneliness, but also the fact that you are choosing to squander ten thousand years of work. They are mourning the extinction of their bloodline. And they are wondering what the point of any of this ever was, if it all ends like this, it all ends with you, for no good reason.

Happy senior woman serving a meal to her family in dining room.

Here’s The Real Reason Why Our Birth Rate Is Plummeting

Here's The Real Reason Why Our Birth Rate Is Plummeting

Children

Dinks

Economy

Grandmother

Parenting

Pregnancy

Democrats had counted on young voters flocking to Vice President Kamala Harris, but as Tuesday night went on the party had a rude awakening.
Gen Z did not swing as hard for Harris as Democrats counted on — Harris <a href="https://www.newsweek.com/democrats-genz-kamala-harris-trump-election-1981590" target="_blank" rel="noopener">won</a> voters ages 18 to 29 by just 11 points, way down from President Joe Biden’s 24 points and Hillary Clinton’s 19 points.
President-elect Donald Trump bet hard on young men, including those in their teens and early 20s casting their very first ballot. He appeared on a slew of “bro” podcasts popular with that demographic, among them comedian Theo Von&#8217;s &#8220;This Past Weekend,&#8221; Andrew Schultz’s &#8220;Flagrant&#8221; podcast, YouTuber Jake Paul’s show, and the country’s most popular podcast &#8220;The Joe Rogan Experience,&#8221; a three-hour affair.
That strategy paid off — men under 30 voted for Trump over Harris by 2 points. Back in 2020, Biden won the young male vote by 11 points.
Harris focused on motivating young women. She appeared on the popular “Call Her Daddy” podcast, whose millions of listeners are mostly women. She was criticized for appearing on the show while thousands suffered through the devastation from Hurricane Helene, however. Her “Brat” summer trend, based on a Charlie XCX album, went viral, but it had fizzled by the fall.
However, Trump also gained ground with young women despite Democrats hammering the abortion issue. Harris won under-30 women by 24 points, more than 10 points down from Biden’s 35-point advantage with young women.
Trump’s social media strategy also involved a lot of viral memes, such as his appearance at McDonald’s where he worked the fry cooker, another way his team worked to appeal to young people.
Overall, Trump won a bigger percentage of voters under 30 than any Republican presidential candidate since 2008, NBC News exit polling <a href="https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/yes-trump-improved-young-men-drew-young-women-rcna179019https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/yes-trump-improved-young-men-drew-young-women-rcna179019" target="_blank" rel="noopener">showed</a>.
On Wednesday, videos flooded TikTok showing college students celebrating Trump’s win on their campuses.
The Harris campaign had believed young voters were energized to vote for Harris. Long lines at <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2024/11/05/college-campuses-long-lines-voting/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">college campuses</a> in swing states like the University of Pennsylvania, the University of Wisconsin-Madison, and Arizona State University seemed to confirm this.
“They are doing their part to make sure Donald Trump is defeated, abortion rights are protected and Democracy is saved,” said David Hogg, co-founder of Leaders We Deserve and March for Our Lives.
However, the economy turned out to be a much more potent driver for voters under 30, who are struggling financially, researchers noted before the election. Even immigration, Trump’s strongest issue, did not rank as high as financial health for young people.
The economy was the most important issue to young voters, and those who said it was their top issue voted for Trump 78% to Harris’ 21%, <a href="https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/yes-trump-improved-young-men-drew-young-women-rcna179019" target="_blank" rel="noopener">NBC exit polls</a> showed.
<h3><a href="https://www.amiracist.com/?_gl=1*jtghwp*_gcl_au*ODQ1NjYzNTg2LjE3Mjg5MDk3OTE.*_ga*MTc2NzM0NDQ2NS4xNzI4OTA5Nzkx*_ga_CZKR9ZYKJP*MTczMDEyMDgwOS40OS4xLjE3MzAxMjA4MzkuMzAuMC4w" target="_blank" rel="noopener">MATT WALSH&#8217;S &#8216;AM I RACIST?&#8217; NOW STREAMING ON DAILYWIRE+</a></h3>
More than <a href="https://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/4973912-youth-groups-project-historic-gen-z-voter-turnout/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">41 million</a> Gen Z voters cast a ballot this election. Young voters notoriously do not turn out, but every cycle since 2018 more and more have been showing up at their polling places.
Based on the numbers, the young generation’s higher turnout does not automatically mean more votes for Democrats.
This election has put them on the defensive.

People tasting hot drinks at coffee restaurant  – Millennial friends talking and having fun together at sidewalk cafe – Life style concept with happy men and women at bar cafeteria

How Gen Z Voted May Surprise You

2024 Election

Donald Trump

Joe Biden

Kamala Harris

Voting

For years, my husband and I watched the American Dream of homeownership grow further and further out of reach. We’re hard-working, law-abiding citizens, striving to build a future for ourselves and our growing family, but the rising cost of living and stagnant wages made that dream seem like just that — an unattainable fantasy. The thought of owning a home where we could plant roots, build memories, and raise our son in a stable, secure environment often felt impossible.
And we’re not alone. Many young Americans feel this way, including members of Generation Z, who are just starting their careers, families, and financial journeys. For young families and Gen Z alike, homeownership and financial security have been slipping further out of reach with each passing year. But after Donald Trump’s resounding victory in the 2024 election, that dream feels within reach again. My heart swells with hope and gratitude as I consider that the very real possibility of homeownership is now back on the table — not just for my family, but for millions of young families and Gen Z Americans who deserve a shot at a stable future.
Donald Trump’s return to the White House symbolizes a turning point in American economic policies, one that prioritizes the interests of everyday Americans. He has consistently championed policies that aim to reduce the tax burden on families, stabilize inflation, and incentivize homeownership. And now, we have a leader who understands that the American Dream isn’t just about accumulating wealth; it’s about fostering communities, strengthening family bonds, and building a nation of strong, self-reliant citizens.
<h3>The Erosion Of Homeownership In America</h3>
Over the past few years, rising inflation, skyrocketing interest rates, and unchecked housing prices left countless families unable to achieve the fundamental American aspiration of homeownership. Home prices have increased by over $93,000 on average as well as the 30-year fixed mortgage rate having more than doubled since the beginning of 2021. With inflation soaring and the cost of even a modest home escalating, the future has to look grim.
As the government prioritized massive spending, as we watched the price of everyday essentials like gas and groceries increase, the cost of living rose across the board. For everyday Americans, essential milestones have felt nearly impossible to achieve. The path to homeownership has been filled with obstacles, and the federal government seemed to have little interest in creating a stable, thriving economy for the next generation.
<h3>A New Hope For Young Families And Gen Z</h3>
Trump’s return signals the start of an economic renaissance — an America First agenda that once again places the interests of families, workers, and young Americans at the forefront. Under Trump’s leadership, we can expect policies that encourage homeownership, which not only helps families plant roots but also builds stronger communities. 
Homeownership isn&#8217;t just about property; it&#8217;s about stability. It’s about families and young people investing in their communities, knowing that they have a stake in their neighborhoods and their future. The promise of stable mortgage rates and a reining in of inflation under Trump means that more Americans — including young people just starting their journeys — will finally have a shot at the security that homeownership provides.
<h3>The Path To A Bright Future For Our Children — And Theirs</h3>
As a parent, there is no greater responsibility — and no greater joy — than being able to provide a stable, nurturing environment for our children. Every parent dreams of giving their child a safe place to play, to learn, and to grow. And every parent knows the importance of instilling a sense of pride and security in their children.
Likewise, Generation Z, who are just beginning their adult lives, want a stable and bright future, too. For Gen Z, who came of age during difficult economic times, homeownership has often felt out of reach. They’re eager to start careers and families, and invest in the American Dream themselves. They want a nation where their hard work is rewarded and where homeownership isn’t just a privilege for the few but a possibility for the many.
Trump’s vision for America is built on the idea that the family and the individual are the foundations of our society. 
<h3>The Resurgence Of The American Dream</h3>
My husband and I aren’t wealthy or powerful. We’re everyday Americans who work hard, who value family, and who want the best for our children. For us, Trump’s victory isn’t just a political win; it’s a profound, personal triumph. It means our family might have a real chance at owning a home, at putting down roots, and at creating a better future.
And for Gen Z, who are just stepping into adulthood, this victory means they, too, have a shot at building the lives they’ve dreamed of. This election wasn’t just about politics; it was about securing a future that values young Americans, that empowers families, and that understands what truly makes America great.
With Trump back in the White House, I feel a renewed sense of optimism — not just for my family, but for all Americans. We are seeing the rebirth of an economy that works for the people. The American Dream isn’t dead; it’s alive and well, and it’s more attainable than ever.
<h3><a href="https://www.amiracist.com/?_gl=1*jtghwp*_gcl_au*ODQ1NjYzNTg2LjE3Mjg5MDk3OTE.*_ga*MTc2NzM0NDQ2NS4xNzI4OTA5Nzkx*_ga_CZKR9ZYKJP*MTczMDEyMDgwOS40OS4xLjE3MzAxMjA4MzkuMzAuMC4w" target="_blank" rel="noopener">MATT WALSH&#8217;S &#8216;AM I RACIST?&#8217; NOW STREAMING ON DAILYWIRE+</a></h3>
So as I look at my son and think about the years ahead, I feel something that many of us thought we’d lost: hope. Hope that we’ll raise our son in a home that’s ours. Hope that young Americans — Gen Z and others — will have a real shot at financial security and homeownership. And hope that this country, with its foundation of freedom, opportunity, and hard work, will continue to shine brightly for generations to come.
In 2025, we will have a leader who’s not afraid to restore the American Dream. And for that, my family, Gen Z, and millions of other Americans are eternally grateful.
* * *
Alexandra Lains is a conservative political commentator, mom and verbal sniper. Follow her on Instagram: @livinglifelikealex and on X: @realalexlains
The views expressed in this piece are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of The Daily Wire.

Wide shot of family looking at home for sale with real estate agent

Why Trump’s Victory Offers Hope To Young Families And Gen Z

finance

Housing

Mortgages

Young people

Relationship TikTok loves to engage in debates, the most recent of which involves the post-breakup period. The debate at hand is one everyone faces after a subsequent heartbreak: Is no contact the best route? In other words, what do you do after a breakup? Do you speak? Do you ever see each other? Or, do you bid your now-ex significant other a fond farewell, never to be seen again?
Some say a clean break is the only way to move forward, but others argue keeping the door open allows for the possibility of getting back together. One Canadian TikToker, Chris (@chrispoletek), who often talks about dating, shared what goes through men’s minds after a breakup with no contact. He starts, “Ladies, this is how men feel during no contact. I’ve spoke with my friends many times about their no contact experiences.”
<div id="attachment_822059" style="width: 298px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@chrispoletek/video/7368854738730781957?lang=en&amp;q=no%20contact&amp;t=1723834939624"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-822059" class="wp-image-822059 size-full" src="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/10/unnamed-7-tiktok.png" alt="Screenshot: TikTok" width="288" height="512" srcset="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/10/unnamed-7-tiktok.png 288w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/10/unnamed-7-tiktok-169x300.png 169w" sizes="(max-width: 288px) 100vw, 288px" /></a>Screenshot: TikTok</div>
Then, he explains their conversations fall into two buckets. In the first, the guy realizes he actually didn’t like the girl that much because he “forgets that they exist,” a clear indicator he just wasn’t that into her. In the second bucket, the guy has the exact opposite realization and sees he misses her. So Chris concludes that if you don’t miss the person, you shouldn’t respond if they reach out. If, on the other hand, you realize you do miss the person, breaking no contact might be best because “it could be worth exploring.”
These don’t seem to be revolutionary thoughts, and they definitely are not bound to men. In the comments, one guy admitted to missing his ex at first and then forgetting all about her not even a week later. And one girl mentioned that women feel the same way, which of course is true. This is all just part of the human experience.
<div class="image"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="size-full wp-image-822065 aligncenter" src="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/10/unnamed-7-ssss.png" alt="" width="512" height="102" srcset="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/10/unnamed-7-ssss.png 512w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/10/unnamed-7-ssss-300x60.png 300w" sizes="(max-width: 512px) 100vw, 512px" /></div>
<div id="attachment_822067" style="width: 522px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-822067" class="wp-image-822067 size-full" src="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/10/dddd.png" alt="Screenshots: TikTok" width="512" height="122" srcset="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/10/dddd.png 512w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/10/dddd-300x71.png 300w" sizes="(max-width: 512px) 100vw, 512px" />Screenshots: TikTok</div>
However, this is much more a contemporary problem than it was a problem in generations past. A few decades ago, a clean break would have been much easier because you couldn’t check anyone’s social media to see where they are, what they’re up to, or who they’re hanging out with. You couldn’t even take a photo on demand, let alone send a late night text. You just moved on. Or, you went to great lengths to get back with the person — like a grand gesture flying across the country and showing up with flowers. (Yes, that happened to my mom. No, she didn’t take him back.) But like every other aspect of relationships and love, social media has greatly complicated the post-breakup season.
<h3><a href="https://www.dailywire.com/episode/going-no-contact-after-your-break-up-a-cure-or-cancer-member-exclusive" target="_blank" rel="noopener">WATCH: The Comments Section with Brett Cooper</a></h3>
In general, people seem to be in favor of a clean break regardless of their feelings about the relationship ending — especially women. Dating coach Gabby (@respectfullygabby) addresses the issue with a firm stance: “Going no contact is actually the only solution to getting whatever you want. Whatever outcome you’re looking for, whether it be, you want to get over him as quickly as possible, whether you want to get back together with them, or whether you’re unsure about whether or not you want to get back together with them.”
<div id="attachment_822069" style="width: 300px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@respectfullygabby/video/7332884815261322539?lang=en&amp;q=no%20contact&amp;t=1723834939624"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-822069" class="wp-image-822069 size-full" src="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/10/unnamed-7-tiktok-v.png" alt="Screenshot: TikTok" width="290" height="512" srcset="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/10/unnamed-7-tiktok-v.png 290w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/10/unnamed-7-tiktok-v-170x300.png 170w" sizes="(max-width: 290px) 100vw, 290px" /></a>Screenshot: TikTok</div>
She goes on to explain that if you know you’re done, “ripping off the bandaid and completely cutting off access is the only way you’re going to heal.” Giving them access again just loops you back into a land of limbo. She goes onto to say, “You cannot move onto what is actually meant for you if you are stuck in what you already know is not meant for you.” She is spot on. If you keep going back when you know it’s wrong, when you stay <a href="https://www.dailywire.com/news/dont-waste-your-time-commit-or-cut-loose" target="_blank" rel="noopener">in a situation</a> that you know is not meant for you, you are just holding your future self back. You are keeping yourself from finding what you actually want. People do this out of fear because leaving is a risk, it’s uncomfortable, and it hurts. But it usually works out in the end.
The other possible outcome from going no contact is that you might realize you were wrong about the situation and you do, indeed, want to get back together. Plus, as Gabby mentions, giving the other person time and space to gain clarity will work in your favor as well; you don’t want to beg for someone to get back together. You want to be with someone who is sure about you. But you absolutely cannot get clarity if you are still stuck in a relationship mess. So, that makes going no contact a win-win situation. You either get over them and move on quickly, or you realize breaking up was a mistake and you end up back together.
Another TikToker, Taylor Herd (@taytalkspod), posted a follow-up to a previous TikTok of hers about the no-contact debate. In this one, she reads the comments she saw the most on her last video, the ones with similar themes. The first she reads is: “It only works if he really likes you.” Then, she follows up with her own commentary: “Correct. If that man can go any amount of time — one week, one month, one year — without thinking of you or without thinking to check in on you, he didn’t really like you that much. He just liked the attention that you show him.”
<div id="attachment_822077" style="width: 305px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@taytalkspod/video/7164536350505471274?lang=en&amp;q=no%20contact&amp;t=1723834939624"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-822077" class="wp-image-822077 size-full" src="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/10/unnamed-7-tiktok-w.png" alt="Screenshot: TikTok" width="295" height="512" srcset="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/10/unnamed-7-tiktok-w.png 295w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/10/unnamed-7-tiktok-w-173x300.png 173w" sizes="(max-width: 295px) 100vw, 295px" /></a>Screenshot: TikTok</div>
She says, “He’ll realize he played himself out of everything you had to offer,” but the reality is, he may move on and find someone he likes better. That might hurt, but you should move on and find someone you like better too. If he doesn’t come back, that’s a definite sign you should move on. No matter your feelings about the end of the relationship, a clean break is just smart.
There are, however, TikTokers on the other side of the aisle. After all, it is a debate. They say you do need to talk again to get clarity. Basically, they think you should put yourself through more hurt to know for certain you’re making the right decision. Natalie (@wanderlusqt), for example, advises that if you cannot stop thinking of the person, think they may have changed, or still have hope you can make things work, “I think it is literally critical to break the no-contact rule.” Yet she acknowledges that breaking no-contact always results in “a complete failure” and she “feels so sad again.” 

<div id="attachment_822079" style="width: 301px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@wanderlusqt/video/7229863022003604778?amp%3Bq=no%20contact&amp;amp%3Bt=1723834939624%2A%2A%2A&amp;lang=en"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-822079" class="wp-image-822079 size-full" src="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/10/unnamed-7-x.png" alt="Screenshot: TikTok" width="291" height="512" srcset="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/10/unnamed-7-x.png 291w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/10/unnamed-7-x-171x300.png 171w" sizes="(max-width: 291px) 100vw, 291px" /></a>Screenshot: TikTok</div>
Truthfully, this is absolutely bizarre. Hurting yourself because of some maybes? Do not do it. The people in the comments didn’t agree with her either. They were heated:
<div class="image"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="size-full wp-image-822081 aligncenter" src="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/10/unnamed-7-fff.png" alt="" width="512" height="159" srcset="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/10/unnamed-7-fff.png 512w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/10/unnamed-7-fff-300x93.png 300w" sizes="(max-width: 512px) 100vw, 512px" /></div>
<div class="image"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="size-full wp-image-822083 aligncenter" src="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/10/unnamed-7-mj.png" alt="" width="512" height="172" srcset="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/10/unnamed-7-mj.png 512w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/10/unnamed-7-mj-300x101.png 300w" sizes="(max-width: 512px) 100vw, 512px" /></div>
<div id="attachment_822085" style="width: 522px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-822085" class="wp-image-822085 size-full" src="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/10/unnamed-7-po.png" alt="Screenshots: TikTok" width="512" height="151" srcset="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/10/unnamed-7-po.png 512w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/10/unnamed-7-po-300x88.png 300w" sizes="(max-width: 512px) 100vw, 512px" />Screenshots: TikTok</div>
It’s not that breaking no contact always ends in pain. There are comments that speak to having broken up, not spoken to each other, broken the no-contact rule, gotten back together, and are now married. But to break no contact, I would advise there be obvious evidence of specific circumstances having changed — to the point you know you would not be walking back into the same situation once again. If, for instance, one of you has put in the work to make changes that would fix the obvious problems, it is possible the relationship could work.
But the fact is, no contact is commonly the right move. A clean break protects against any possible lingering or questioning; you move on. Initiating communication again shouldn’t be based on the maybes, the missings, and the hopefuls. Breaking no contact just because <a href="https://www.dailywire.com/news/exploring-remedies-to-chronic-singleness-part-ii" target="_blank" rel="noopener">you are lonely</a> is a dangerous decision. There is a gaping difference between having concrete evidence to know for certain the relationship would be different, and convincing yourself from a place of loneliness that it might be different. You must be honest with yourself about when it’s logical <a href="https://www.dailywire.com/news/kristin-cavallari-the-montana-boyz-and-advice-we-dont-need" target="_blank" rel="noopener">and when it’s emotional</a>.
If you miss them but nothing has changed and the same problems still exist, you should be focusing on your future. Most importantly, <a href="https://www.dailywire.com/news/the-truth-about-the-taxicab-theory" target="_blank" rel="noopener">have the confidence</a> not to just walk away, but to keep moving forward.
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Photograph of couple ripped in half

So You’re Going Through A Breakup. Now What?

Brett Cooper

Dating

TikTok

Although we are living in an around-the-clock, digitally connected world, we sometimes paradoxically find ourselves disconnected from each other. But it hasn’t always been this way. People in generations past — Boomers, for example — would drop by unannounced to visit friends on Sunday afternoons or host family dinners regularly to bring everyone together and catch up on life. Today, the art of true friendship has torn apart at the seams, leaving Gen Z as a whole ill-equipped to maintain meaningful relationships. 
This was not a problem that showed up overnight, nor can it be linked to just one cause. We were the first generation raised online in a world of social media, we were locked down in a months-long pandemic on the cusp of adulthood, and we live in a time when lifestyles are as fast-paced as they’ve ever been. In general, Gen Z is made up of inside kids, so we grew up accustomed to socializing very differently than other generations.
Objectively, this is less healthy because we don’t have as much face-to-face communication in real life, and we all know that is important to a healthy, happy, and long life. We have been called <a href="https://www.newsweek.com/generation-genz-loneliness-problem-mental-health-1877013" target="_blank" rel="noopener">the lonely generation</a>, a generation who tends to <a href="https://ballardbrief.byu.edu/issue-briefs/isolation-among-generation-z-in-the-united-states" target="_blank" rel="noopener">isolate</a>. Gen Z simply doesn’t interact with people as much as generations before us, including Millennials. But regardless of the reasons, Gen Z not only has difficulty maintaining friendships, but they also voice concerns about even being able to find friends. And sometimes, the online world can make it appear as though everyone else has tons of friends, which just leads to more feelings of isolation and loneliness.
Now, Gen Z is reaching adulthood, moving out, living alone, and asking a serious question: How do I make friends? I resonate with this question because, even though I wanted female friends as I was growing up, making girlfriends was a challenge for me. Part of this was because we moved quite often. I would make friends, keep them for about a year, and then move, so the friendship just withered away. I could never seem to make and keep solid female friends. I also had brothers so I grew up primarily around boys, and I was never much of a girly girl. Plus, I always found it easier to hang out with guys.
<h4><a href="https://www.dailywire.com/episode/ep-829-wednesday-brett-cooper-live" target="_blank" rel="noopener">WATCH: The Comments Section with Brett Cooper on DailyWire+</a></h4>
There was, however, another reason making girlfriends was difficult for me, though I didn’t realize it at the time. Even though I wanted female friends, I had a rather negative view of femininity. The traits I primarily noticed about girls were traits I didn’t like, especially the promiscuousness, gossipiness, and silliness. I didn’t want to be associated with those qualities, and I allowed them to taint my perspective in general.
Now, however, I have learned those traits are not true of the gender as a whole. I’m no-nonsense by nature, but I realized I can embrace my femininity and be open to female idiosyncrasies. That change in perspective had to start with me, and when it did, I could see I had superficial ideas of what friendships were. I had to become more open and vulnerable, because in truth, being friends with women requires significant vulnerability.
Having learned all this, my first suggestion to the question of how to make friends is: Say yes to everything. If there’s an invite, accept; if there’s an event, go; and if there’s coffee, drink. Join a running club, go to trivia nights, and attend work-sponsored happenings. Even if you think you would not be friends with the person doing the inviting, go anyway. You probably don’t know them well enough to make that decision yet, and you could also meet other potential friends at the events they’re inviting you to. 
Be willing to put yourself in situations that allow you to meet people. In order to get out there, you must put yourself out there. It’s worth acknowledging this creates some discomfort, but if the desire for friends and struggle against loneliness outweighs being uncomfortable — which it absolutely should — then say yes. Be open. Be agreeable.
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Second, take initiative. Girls love doing fun activities together. If you’re at a farmers’ market and there’s a girl standing next to you, strike up a conversation. If there’s a girl at work you think you’d like to be friends with, ask her to get lunch. As much as saying yes is a great attitude to begin with, reaching out and being the first to take initiative to connect is even more productive when it comes to making friends.
I met one of my bridesmaids by randomly messaging her one day. She was a co-worker, and I had spoken to her exactly one time in the breakroom, but something about her made me think we could be friends. One weekend, a rodeo was going to be in town about an hour outside Nashville, so I just messaged her and asked her to go with me. That led to another rodeo and eventually a true friendship. She stood by me on the day of my wedding as one of my best friends.
I don’t have sisters, so I had always assumed I wouldn’t have bridesmaids. But on the day I got married, our wedding party included six sweet friends of mine — only one of whom I have known longer than two years. Those six bridesmaids are proof that I was able to find friends and create meaningful relationships with them.
Our fast-paced lifestyles aren’t always conducive to an afternoon meet-and-greet, and we scramble to even be able to FaceTime or send a quick text. Add to that the fact that fostering meaningful relationships is (and always has been) challenging, but even finding friends with whom to engage in those relationships can prove difficult. But friendship starts with you. It may require a perspective change, an open attitude, or a move with initiative, but the friends are out there — and they are looking for friends too.

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How To Make Friends And Create A Sisterhood

Friends

Readers Pass

For a couple months now, Gen Z has taken to TikTok in droves to address their concern of being “chronically single.” Generally, when you have a “chronic” illness, you do your best to find a solution, which is what they’re doing. They go on dates semi-regularly, they’re open to being introduced to other people, and they’re willing to try blind dates, but none of these methods seem to be working. So, is there a remedy to this chronic ailment? Potentially. 
Opposite those who are “chronically single” is another group called “repeat offenders,” according to TikTok. It seems that these people have just given up on finding someone to date seriously while letting their standards slip in the process, so they have just become repeat offenders to fill the void.
<a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@glutenfreejackie/video/7302132561390603566?_r=1&amp;_t=8npxExmabjb" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="size-full wp-image-781811 aligncenter" src="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/Tiktok-a.png" alt="" width="288" height="512" srcset="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/Tiktok-a.png 288w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/Tiktok-a-169x300.png 169w" sizes="(max-width: 288px) 100vw, 288px" /></a>
The comments are divided. While some say they “live for the plot” and are too bored to stay single, others say they would much rather be chronically single than dating a different man each week:
<div class="image"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="size-full wp-image-781813 aligncenter" src="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/Titok-b.png" alt="" width="512" height="89" srcset="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/Titok-b.png 512w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/Titok-b-300x52.png 300w" sizes="(max-width: 512px) 100vw, 512px" /></div>
<div class="image"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="size-full wp-image-781817 aligncenter" src="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/Tikto-c.png" alt="" width="512" height="82" srcset="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/Tikto-c.png 512w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/Tikto-c-300x48.png 300w" sizes="(max-width: 512px) 100vw, 512px" /></div>
Although the opportunity to get emotionally or physically involved with someone may seem appealing, even if the person isn’t right for you, that will only cause you pain. That type of companionship or method of filling a void will not be worth the hurt it brings in the end. 
Perhaps the most powerful takeaway from the chronically single trend I have seen is that people are not lowering their standards or entering into desperation mode. This girl puts it squarely into perspective:
<a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@glutenfreejackie/video/7302132561390603566?_r=1&amp;_t=8npxExmabjb" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="size-full wp-image-781819 aligncenter" src="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-D.png" alt="" width="284" height="512" srcset="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-D.png 284w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-D-166x300.png 166w" sizes="(max-width: 284px) 100vw, 284px" /></a>
She acknowledges the unwarranted bad advice singles receive, and then mentions that when a dating situation doesn’t work out, other people are quick to shower you with pity, say how sorry they are, and ask how long you’ve been single, which she has some strong opinions about. Her main point is that she thinks the longer you’re single, the more adamant you become on not settling. Lots of comments concurred:
<div class="image"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="size-full wp-image-781827 aligncenter" src="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/TikTok-E.png" alt="" width="512" height="123" srcset="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/TikTok-E.png 512w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/TikTok-E-300x72.png 300w" sizes="(max-width: 512px) 100vw, 512px" /></div>
My husband was 28 when we met, and by the internet’s definition, he was chronically single. He never felt like any of the women he went on a date with were right for him — so he just kept looking. When I met him, I respected the fact he’d never been in a relationship because it showed me he was dating with intention. He valued himself enough not to waste his time going after random girls at bars just to have the satisfaction of being with someone.
<h4><a href="https://www.dailywire.com/episode/advice-to-the-chronically-single-friend-member-exclusive" target="_blank" rel="noopener">WATCH: The Comments Section with Brett Cooper on DailyWire+</a></h4>
Waiting and checking boxes was a common sentiment among both the men and the women in this comment section. If anything, the singles’ standards seem to be getting stronger as they mature and gain more confidence in what they want in a significant other, which I think is positive — so long as your standards don’t include a list of unnecessary “icks.” If your standards include mutual respect, shared values, and common ground in a relationship, keep them high.
A girl posted this TikTok talking about just this:
<a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@paytonpoulstonn/video/7386854078309223726?q=chronically%20single&amp;t=1720735262697" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="size-full wp-image-781831 aligncenter" src="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/TikTok-F.png" alt="" width="286" height="512" srcset="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/TikTok-F.png 286w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/TikTok-F-168x300.png 168w" sizes="(max-width: 286px) 100vw, 286px" /></a> 
One comment honed in on a truly sincere and valid statement:
<div class="image"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="size-full wp-image-781833 aligncenter" src="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/TikTok-G.png" alt="" width="512" height="112" srcset="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/TikTok-G.png 512w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/TikTok-G-300x66.png 300w" sizes="(max-width: 512px) 100vw, 512px" /></div>
She’s a hopeless romantic living in a hook-up culture world. This is incredibly hard for people who have traditional values because those values have gone out of practice in the dating world. Yet this girl has so much clarity and maturity. She isn’t going out and seeking attention from every man she meets, nor has she made dating or hooking up her identity — quite the contrary. At the same time, finding someone to be in a relationship with is on her mind because it’s important to her and she’s not going about it frivolously.
<h4><a href="https://www.dailywire.com/news/chronic-singleness-lets-talk-about-it-part-i" target="_blank" rel="noopener">RELATED: &#8216;Chronic Singleness.&#8217; Let&#8217;s Talk About It. Part I</a></h4>
My takeaway after watching all these TikTokers document their chronically single experiences was: I don’t know exactly what to say because everyone has different experiences as to how they found their significant others. By no means do I want to spew cliches. And more than just giving relentless advice, my hope is to break down the problems people are facing in the dating landscape, break down the dating landscape in and of itself so that we can find solutions.
Singles don’t need more advice. They need phone numbers. So be the help, connect your friends, and become part of the solution. This is a huge issue in our culture, and there has to be a way to fix this. So let’s stop with the unhelpful advice and start making connections.
* * *
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Exploring Remedies To ‘Chronic Singleness,’ Part II

Exploring Remedies To 'Chronic Singleness,' Part II

One topic Gen Z doesn’t mind talking about is dating. Because of all its challenges, some say they are not choosing to prioritize dating, or they are just opting out entirely. To be fair, that is not the case for all of Gen Z. A decent number of twenty-year-olds do very much want to be in a relationship, yet they consistently remain single. A selection of the latter group have, in true Gen Z fashion, taken to social media to air their grievances, labeling themselves “the chronically single friend,” and their stories prove the dating landscape is rough terrain.
I ran across the “chronically single” trending topic on TikTok a month or so ago. These single twentysomethings started making lists about the number of unhelpful (and generally obnoxious) comments people have made to them over the years — and they are over hearing them. In one of the most viral TikToks, a twenty-five-year-old listed a few of the pieces of advice she hears most often, including, “It will happen when you least expect it,” and “Stop looking and that’s when you’ll find it.” She explained, “I haven’t been looking. And it’s the not looking, I fear, that resulted in years of absolutely no contact with a man.”
<div id="attachment_780511" style="width: 295px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@taylorvance/video/7384867028512886058?q=chronically%20single&amp;t=1720737206349" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-780511" class="wp-image-780511 size-full" src="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-1-1.png" alt="Source: TikTok. " width="285" height="512" srcset="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-1-1.png 285w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-1-1-167x300.png 167w" sizes="(max-width: 285px) 100vw, 285px" /></a>Source: TikTok.</div>
I do agree that sometimes the best thing to do is to take a step back, focus on yourself, and realign your priorities to know what you actually want in a potential partner. However, society’s push of telling women they don’t need a man has landed some women in this very predicament. This is a balancing act: It is wise to know what you want and be open to dating while also not making finding a significant other your entire life’s mission and fixating on it twenty-four hours a day.
This 25-year-old continues, listing “You’re so lucky” and “Don’t rush it” as two more unhelpful pieces of advice. She concludes by acknowledging that when people set her up with someone, she knows they are trying to help, but she often finds herself in a difficult position when she ends up not being interested. She has a point. I don’t think setting people up is a bad move; in fact, it’s one way to actually help singles — so long as the two people getting set up share commonalities and have potential to be a good match. But just because two people happen to be single does not mean they will automatically have a connection. 
<h4><a href="https://www.dailywire.com/episode/advice-to-the-chronically-single-friend-member-exclusive" target="_blank" rel="noopener">WATCH: The Comments Section with Brett Cooper on DailyWire+</a></h4>
She ends telling fellow TikTokers that if they can relate, she’s sorry—and boy did they relate. When this video started circulating, it didn’t stop. One commented that she’s basically tired of focusing on herself. This is something people talk about after getting married and having children because they realize focusing on someone else is life-giving. In our narcissistic society, we don’t even realize how unhealthy and exhausting only focusing on ourselves is. Another commenter was aggravated over receiving contradictory advice:
<div class="image"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="size-full wp-image-780439 aligncenter" src="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/TikTok-2-1.png" alt="" width="512" height="110" srcset="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/TikTok-2-1.png 512w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/TikTok-2-1-300x64.png 300w" sizes="(max-width: 512px) 100vw, 512px" /></div>
<div id="attachment_780441" style="width: 522px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-780441" class="wp-image-780441 size-full" src="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/TikTok-3-1.png" alt="Source: TikTok comments." width="512" height="109" srcset="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/TikTok-3-1.png 512w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/TikTok-3-1-300x64.png 300w" sizes="(max-width: 512px) 100vw, 512px" />Source: TikTok comments.</div>
To her credit, advice-givers never quite seem to extrapolate the nuance about why singles should “stop looking” while simultaneously “put yourself out there.” If you want to be in a relationship with someone, being emotionally available and open to the possibility of dating is definitely smart, but that doesn’t mean you need to go on a date every single night of the week. 
One other response to this chronic single situation hits on a truth that touches on many areas in life: If you don’t have experience in a specific situation, it might be hard to give actual, beneficial advice. Certainly, people are trying to be helpful by offering advice based on their own experiences. But when someone is actively attempting to get out of the chronically single status, that advice can sting.
<div id="attachment_780443" style="width: 522px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-780443" class="wp-image-780443 size-full" src="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/TikTok-4.png" alt="Source: TikTok comments." width="512" height="125" srcset="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/TikTok-4.png 512w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/TikTok-4-300x73.png 300w" sizes="(max-width: 512px) 100vw, 512px" />Source: TikTok comments.</div>
This trend is holding strong and the videos just keep coming. In another that went viral, a girl commented yet again on the “it will happen when you’re not looking” theme, followed by, “you have to put yourself out there.” These are by far the most commonly cited unhelpful sayings.
<div id="attachment_780515" style="width: 300px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@itsnikkicash/video/7386027672087940394?q=chronically%20single&amp;t=1720737206349" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-780515" class="wp-image-780515 size-full" src="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-curling-iron.png" alt="Source: TikTok. " width="290" height="512" srcset="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-curling-iron.png 290w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-curling-iron-170x300.png 170w" sizes="(max-width: 290px) 100vw, 290px" /></a>Source: TikTok.</div>
Next, she names the “have you tried dating apps?” question to be in the unhelpful lineup. She sarcastically remarks that she’s “never thought of that foreign concept before” and then seriously states, “The dating apps aren’t it.” The apps have, unfortunately, gone downhill over time. They have great potential if they’re used properly, if you are intentional and honest. However, you can only control that on your end; on the other side, people may be simply using apps as a pastime, swiping right and left with no real intent — which seems to be what singles are experiencing now.
She goes on to say that when people tell her she’s young and still has “so much time,” she disagrees. I appreciate that women are even mentioning the fact their biological clock is ticking. Years ago, that would have never even been part of this conversation, whereas now, women are openly saying they want to be married and have kids. This is a shift in culture, which is a really positive one for women.
Most of these videos were posted by women, but there were some men that jumped in too. One, a twenty-eight-year-old guy, says he too is tired of hearing that he needs to put himself out there. While I don’t think this is the worst advice, I do think it should be followed up with an explanation of what that means.
<div id="attachment_780517" style="width: 300px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@noah_pilato5/video/7385266557548629279?_r=1&amp;_t=8npxG9IzvVW" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-780517" class="wp-image-780517 size-full" src="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-guy.png" alt="Source: TikTok. " width="290" height="512" srcset="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-guy.png 290w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-guy-170x300.png 170w" sizes="(max-width: 290px) 100vw, 290px" /></a>Source: TikTok.</div>
Not all of my generation necessarily even knows what it means to “put yourself out there,” let alone how to do it. We were raised online, our first dating experience was online, and our entire college experience was dominated by Covid, so a lot of Gen Z doesn’t know how to socialize in a way that opens the doors to dating. The reality is, going to bars likely won’t lead to a long-term relationship, whereas joining a rec league and making new friends you see on a consistent basis could lead to other connections.
This man says he’s tired of hearing he should embrace and enjoy his time being single because he’s not enjoying it or having fun anymore. He is watching his friends get married and have kids, which he wants, but he just hasn’t found the right person yet. These are not people who are just looking for hook-ups; they are looking for long-term partners. They value having love and respect for the opposite gender, and by resurrecting these values, they are bringing normalcy and decency back to America.
The comments went wild over this guy’s video:
<div class="image"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="size-full wp-image-780447 aligncenter" src="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/TikTok-6-1.png" alt="" width="512" height="116" srcset="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/TikTok-6-1.png 512w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/TikTok-6-1-300x68.png 300w" sizes="(max-width: 512px) 100vw, 512px" /></div>
<div class="image"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="size-full wp-image-780449 aligncenter" src="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/TikTok-7-1.png" alt="" width="512" height="69" srcset="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/TikTok-7-1.png 512w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/TikTok-7-1-300x40.png 300w" sizes="(max-width: 512px) 100vw, 512px" /></div>
<div id="attachment_780453" style="width: 522px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-780453" class="wp-image-780453 size-full" src="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/TikTok-8-1.png" alt="Source: TikTok comments." width="512" height="67" srcset="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/TikTok-8-1.png 512w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/TikTok-8-1-300x39.png 300w" sizes="(max-width: 512px) 100vw, 512px" />Source: TikTok comments.</div>
Interestingly, the last comment is from the 25-year-old single woman who got a jump on the beginning of this trend. This is definitely one way of “putting yourself out there” that I can get behind because, who knows, maybe these two could meet and bond over this. I am all in favor of a TikTok romance.
The fact that this trend has become so popular makes it clear there is a need for some problem solving skills to be put into action. The advice these singles are receiving hasn’t been helping, so it’s time to think of an actual solution.
More to come.

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‘Chronic Singleness.’ Let’s Talk About It. Part I

'Chronic Singleness.' Let’s Talk About It. Part I

Last September, Morning Consult released <a href="https://pro.morningconsult.com/analyst-reports/influencer-marketing-trends-report?utm_source=mc_comms_outreach&amp;utm_medium=mc_comms_referral&amp;utm_campaign=influencer_report" target="_blank" rel="noopener">a report</a> that concluded 57% of Gen Z wants to become influencers and make that their career. As they all scroll Instagram and TikTok, they see what appears to be lavish lifestyles, fun “get ready with me” videos, and lackadaisical “day in the life” vlogs in which the most challenging part of the day is a 5:00 a.m. pilates class. They watch as 23-year-olds buy houses in the Hamptons and drive 2024 Range Rovers around town.
But what if that all comes crashing down? What happens when you lose your relevance or when audiences decide they’ve seen too much content? Sometimes, people who become incredibly but fleetingly popular on social media are not able to launch into more mainstream fame — so they fizzle out. Jason Nash is a prime example.
In the early 2010s, actor and stand-up comic Jason Nash became friends with YouTuber David Dobrik, joined his “vlog squad,” and soared with it to the height of its popularity. But a few years ago, Dobrik and his entire group fell from grace, and the vlog squad dissolved. Now, Dobrik owns a pizza parlor, and Nash asks for money on live TikToks.
<div id="attachment_776033" style="width: 303px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@kicks.and.gigs.re/video/7306327655106825503" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-776033" class="wp-image-776033 size-full" src="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-abc.png" alt="Source: tiktok.com/@kicks.and.gigs.re" width="293" height="512" srcset="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-abc.png 293w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-abc-172x300.png 172w" sizes="(max-width: 293px) 100vw, 293px" /></a>Source: tiktok.com/@kicks.and.gigs.re</div>
When someone is live on TikTok, viewers can send you “gifts,” like roses or other little emojis that turn into actual money for the creator who receives them. As a result, Nash goes live everyday doing random things so people will send him gifts (i.e., money).
This is a man who was once making millions on YouTube. He was producing shows with Dobrik, starring in &#8220;Funny or Die&#8221; videos, but now, he is attempting to hold onto any of his leftover relevancy to make money. Of course, the comments are ruthless, with some people hypothesizing that Dobrik’s pensions ran out, feeling sorry for Nash’s kids, and comparing this to “asking for money on the street.”
<div class="image"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="size-full wp-image-776065 aligncenter" src="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-comment-1.png" alt="" width="512" height="95" srcset="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-comment-1.png 512w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-comment-1-300x56.png 300w" sizes="(max-width: 512px) 100vw, 512px" /></div>
<div class="image"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="size-full wp-image-776053 aligncenter" src="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-2.png" alt="" width="512" height="104" srcset="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-2.png 512w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-2-300x61.png 300w" sizes="(max-width: 512px) 100vw, 512px" /></div>
<div id="attachment_776055" style="width: 522px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-776055" class="wp-image-776055 size-full" src="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-3.png" alt="" width="512" height="151" srcset="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-3.png 512w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-3-300x88.png 300w" sizes="(max-width: 512px) 100vw, 512px" />Source: TikTok</div>
Nash’s TikTok lives have gotten to the point they are just sad, uncomfortable, and embarrassing. He’s angry, occasionally sad, and sometimes even cries. 
<div id="attachment_776069" style="width: 303px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@namikazej117/video/7347579705391844651?q=jason%20nash%20livestream&amp;t=1720619273885" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-776069" class="wp-image-776069 size-full" src="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-5.png" alt="Source: tiktok.com/@namikazej117" width="293" height="512" srcset="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-5.png 293w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-5-172x300.png 172w" sizes="(max-width: 293px) 100vw, 293px" /></a>Source: tiktok.com/@namikazej117</div>
The comments just continue, going so far as to name this virtual panhandling. One commenter flat said they want to see him get “an actual job.” 
<div class="image"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="size-full wp-image-776059 aligncenter" src="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-6.png" alt="" width="512" height="88" srcset="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-6.png 512w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-6-300x52.png 300w" sizes="(max-width: 512px) 100vw, 512px" /></div>
<div class="image"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="size-full wp-image-776061 aligncenter" src="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-7.png" alt="" width="512" height="106" srcset="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-7.png 512w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-7-300x62.png 300w" sizes="(max-width: 512px) 100vw, 512px" /></div>
<div id="attachment_776063" style="width: 522px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-776063" class="wp-image-776063 size-full" src="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-8.png" alt="Source: TikTok" width="512" height="105" srcset="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-8.png 512w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-8-300x62.png 300w" sizes="(max-width: 512px) 100vw, 512px" />Source: TikTok</div>
I think that’s a challenge everyone wants him to attempt — everyone except Jason, that is. 
<h4><a href="https://www.dailywire.com/episode/when-your-5-seconds-of-fame-runs-out-member-exclusive" target="_blank" rel="noopener">WATCH: The Comments Section with Brett Cooper</a></h4>
In a recent podcast, he was confronted about “getting a real job,” and he responded that he doesn’t have any skills and has no interests outside of entertainment. Apparently, he seems to look down on normal jobs. 
<div id="attachment_776077" style="width: 296px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@spillsometeawithme1/video/7388951231957323039?lang=en" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-776077" class="wp-image-776077 size-full" src="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-9.png" alt="Source: tiktok.com/@spillsometeawithme1" width="286" height="512" srcset="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-9.png 286w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-9-168x300.png 168w" sizes="(max-width: 286px) 100vw, 286px" /></a>Source: tiktok.com/@spillsometeawithme1</div>
He gives excuse after excuse as to why he is not seeking gainful employment. If he were being honest, he would say, “I’m lazy, and I think I’m too good to work a ‘normal job.’” Because he most definitely has the skills to be a DoorDash driver or work at a retail store. Furthermore, good, hard-working people work those jobs. He needs to grow up, and the commenters agree:
<div class="image"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="size-full wp-image-776079 aligncenter" src="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-10.png" alt="" width="512" height="113" srcset="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-10.png 512w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-10-300x66.png 300w" sizes="(max-width: 512px) 100vw, 512px" /></div>
<div id="attachment_776085" style="width: 522px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-776085" class="wp-image-776085 size-full" src="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-11.png" alt="Source: TikTok" width="512" height="104" srcset="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-11.png 512w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-11-300x61.png 300w" sizes="(max-width: 512px) 100vw, 512px" />Source: TikTok</div>
Nash got famous in his 30s, so he had to be doing something before that. Struggling actors all have a side job, so he is bound to have some kind of skill. Some of the comments offer elements of personal responsibility and common sense: 
<div id="attachment_776089" style="width: 522px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-776089" class="wp-image-776089 size-full" src="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-13.png" alt="Source: TikTok" width="512" height="110" srcset="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-13.png 512w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-13-300x64.png 300w" sizes="(max-width: 512px) 100vw, 512px" />Source: TikTok</div>
To Nash’s explanation of why he is not in real estate, one commenter explained the gap in understanding:
<div id="attachment_776091" style="width: 522px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-776091" class="wp-image-776091 size-full" src="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-14.png" alt="Source: TikTok" width="512" height="110" srcset="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-14.png 512w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-14-300x64.png 300w" sizes="(max-width: 512px) 100vw, 512px" />Source: TikTok</div>
Jason Nash’s journey to and fall from influencer fame should serve as a cautionary tale to everyone. If you are in a fickle, unstable business, know that — and handle your money responsibly. Then, squelch your ego and be realistic. Life comes for everyone, and no one is immune. And when hard times come, you should never look down on the work that every normal person does.
This brings me to the Hawk Tuah girl, the details of whose story I will skip over, but in short form, a girl went insanely viral after her man-on-the-street interview: 
<div id="attachment_776095" style="width: 307px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@ahpositive/video/7383483959180643617?q=hawk%20tuah&amp;t=1720620541704" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-776095" class="wp-image-776095 size-full" src="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-15.png" alt="Source: tiktok.com/@ahpositive" width="297" height="471" srcset="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-15.png 297w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-15-189x300.png 189w" sizes="(max-width: 297px) 100vw, 297px" /></a>Source: tiktok.com/@ahpositive</div>
My concern for this girl stems from watching Jason Nash and people whose fleeting fame lands them in hardship. In an interview she did with Barstool, she explained she has quit her job to move to LA to be a celebrity. She states, “I think we’re going to do like a show and then we’re just gonna be like on a bunch of podcasts and everything else in between.” After a seven-second viral clip, she has a whole team now. And she plans to figure it out as she goes but “there’s more to come.” 
<div id="attachment_776099" style="width: 298px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@barstoolsports/video/7386722110770548011?q=hawk%20tuah%20interview&amp;t=1720618016839" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-776099" class="wp-image-776099 size-full" src="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-16.png" alt="Source: tiktok.com/@barstoolsports" width="288" height="512" srcset="https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-16.png 288w, https://dw-wp-production.imgix.net/2024/08/tiktok-16-169x300.png 169w" sizes="(max-width: 288px) 100vw, 288px" /></a>Source: tiktok.com/@barstoolsports</div>
I would love to have a word with whomever is advising her. She is doing documentary-style videos on TikTok, selling Hawk Tuah merch, but simultaneously doing press saying she does not want to be known for that. This all seems like a recipe for disaster, but at the end of the day, it’s her life — go for it if you want, take the leap, but I hope she will keep some humility as she leaps.
That said, I kept my Trader Joe’s employee name tag, and I will absolutely march right back in if need be. Being an influencer or content creator does not excuse anyone from the realities of life.

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When The 15 Minutes Run Out, What Happens Next?

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It’s difficult to be a good parent in our culture today. The forces pulling your child away from you — the corrupting influences that seek to degrade him and destroy his soul — are more numerous and more powerful and more ubiquitous and unavoidable, and have more immediate access to him, than at any other point in human history. This is why it is so easy to fail at parenting, but also why it is so crucial that we don’t.
For that reason I’m always troubled when some confused, fatally stupid and inept parenting method arises. Every few years a fancy new parenting trend seems to crop up. They always have different names and present themselves as different strategies, but they are basically the same bad ideas repackaged and resold over and over again. You’ll notice that up until the latter half of the last century, there were no parenting trends or parenting methods. You didn’t have different types of parenting. There was only parenting. If you’d asked your great grandfather what parenting strategy he preferred — if you asked him if he was a “conscious parent” or a “helicopter parent” or a “positive parent” or whatever — he would have looked at you confused, not understanding the question. Or else he would have shown you his belt. 
In recent decades, thanks in large part to the psychiatric industry, parenting has become much more complicated than it needs to be, with too many competing strategies — all of them seemingly designed to make your child into a dysfunctional, needy, entitled little hellion. And in that way, they’ve been extremely successful. 
Which brings us to a parenting trend that has gotten a lot of attention lately. It’s called “gentle parenting.” If you have ever ventured into the world of TikTok and Instagram parents, you are familiar with this term. It’s a style of parenting gaining popularity especially in my generation. A recent survey of millennial parents conducted by Lurie Children’s Hospital in Chicago found that a staggering 75 percent use the gentle parenting technique.
<a href="http://www.amiracist.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=http://www.amiracist.com/&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1722714742764000&amp;usg=AOvVaw1XzmEsRwzti1RFNuISwYgd">WATCH THE TRAILER FOR ‘AM I RACIST?’ — A MATT WALSH COMEDY ON DEI</a>
So what is gentle parenting? The website <a href="http://parents.com/">parents.com</a> has an explainer on the subject: 
<blockquote>Gentle parenting is a peaceful, positive style of parenting that is very different from that of previous generations of parents. It is but one of many <a href="https://www.parents.com/parenting/better-parenting/style/parenting-styles-explained/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">styles of parenting</a> out there. From authoritative and permissive to <a href="https://www.parents.com/free-range-parenting-8665444">free-range</a> and <a href="https://www.parents.com/conscious-parenting-8678839">conscious parenting</a>, there are seemingly more variations than a burnt-out parent can count. But if you&#8217;re looking to add a new approach to your arsenal, you may want to consider <a href="https://www.parents.com/parenting/better-parenting/style/ways-to-use-gentle-parenting-techniques-in-real-life/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">gentle parenting</a>.</blockquote>
Before <a href="http://parents.com/">parents.com</a> tells us exactly what this approach consists of, we should make note of one thing. We’re told that gentle parenting is “very different from that of previous generations of parens.” That’s true. And also the whole problem. I’m not saying that we should parent exactly as our own parents and grandparents did. I’m not saying that previous generations of parents didn’t make mistakes. But previous generations of parents did parent the people who built human civilization. They parented the pioneers and poets and philosophers and artists and inventors and warriors and leaders who accomplished incomprehensible feats of heroism and genius, and who gave us every good and wonderful and beautiful thing we have in our lives. Old fashioned parenting has a track record. It’s the parenting that took us from mud huts to the moon. What has modern parenting produced? Does it have a similar record of success? Or has it instead produced multiple generations of depressed, lazy, overgrown brats stuck in a perpetual state of emotional and mental adolescence? I’ll let you answer that question for yourself.
<h4><a href="https://www.dailywire.com/episode/ep-1415-member-exclusive" target="_blank" rel="noopener">WATCH: The Matt Walsh Show</a></h4>
The point is: we should be immediately suspicious of a “very different” style of parenting. Why is it very different? Was old fashioned parenting broken? If not, why are we fixing it? 
Continuing:
<blockquote>Gentle parenting is a means of parenting without shame, blame, or punishment. It is centered on partnership as both parents and children have a say in this collaborative style…. “Gentle parenting, also known as collaborative parenting, is a style of parenting where parents do not compel children to behave by means of punishment or control, but rather use connection, communication, and other democratic methods to make decisions together as a family,&#8221; says Danielle Sullivan, a parenting coach… “Gentle parenting teaches children that they can be active in the world, set their own boundaries, trust their own needs, and make their voices heard.</blockquote>
Now there is a lot wrong with what I just read. Using “democratic methods” in your home is a recipe for dysfunction and chaos. As the father and head of my household, I am not presiding over a democracy. I was not elected to my position. Even if my children voted to throw me out of office, I would remain in power. Our system of government in the United States, in theory anyway, depends on the consent of the governed. My home does not. If your home does, that certainly means — without exception — that you have failed as a parent and your children are the kinds of horrible, out of control, miniature terrorists who nobody wants to be around, and who, without miraculous intervention, will grow into maladapted, miserable adults. 
To explain why, it may be helpful to take a look at some examples of gentle parenting in action. In fact this article provides one: 
<blockquote>If you&#8217;re looking for a way to incorporate gentle parenting into your life, your best bet is to start small… Model what you want to see on a regular basis. Practice kindness, compassion, and empathy at all times. And try to be less demanding and commanding. Instead of saying &#8220;tie your shoes,&#8221; make it a suggestion. Something like &#8220;Do you think you should tie your shoes so you don&#8217;t trip?</blockquote>
The first few sentences of this paragraph start out fine, but then we’re told that you should be “less demanding and commanding.” This is only half right. Less demanding, sure. But you should be commanding. Demands are weak. Demands are made by people who are not in control but want to be. Kidnappers and bank robbers make demands. Demands are desperate and weak. It means that you are not in control of yourself or your surroundings. To demand respect is to pathetically and impotently request it. It is to shout “respect me!” because nobody does. But to command respect is to be regarded with esteem, admiration, and obedience without asking for it. If you have to demand respect from your children, it means that you are not commanding respect. So you should be less demanding because you are more commanding. But to be neither demanding nor commanding is to be a figure with no authority or respect at all. 
So instead of telling your child, “tie your shoes,” you’re encouraged to say, “Do you think you should tie your shoes so you don&#8217;t trip?” This is all wrong. A strong leader knows what things must be done and gives clear, concise, and confident instructions accordingly. Tying shoes is a thing that must be done. It doesn’t matter if your child thinks he should tie his shoes. You don’t need to build a consensus on the matter. You don’t need to put a referendum up for a vote to democratically establish the necessity of tying shoes. And what if he says that, no, he doesn’t think he should? What then? Will you respect him as an equal and let him fall down the steps and break his neck? Or will you tell him to tie them anyway? If the latter — and I hope it’s the latter — what was the point of asking the question in the first place? 
Your child is a child. He has no idea what he’s doing, what he should be doing, or what’s going on. He needs to know that you know. He needs to know that you are confident and secure in your position as the leader. 
Here’s a parenting secret for you: a child wants to be told what to do. He doesn’t want open ended questions and limitless options. He wants direction. He may not know that he wants it. He may say that he doesn’t want it. But that’s because he doesn’t understand his own wants, much less his needs. If you give instructions — not requests, instructions — and you do it clearly and firmly, he will be a happier kid. He will feel safer, more loved, and will end up a better person in the long run.
This is the major problem with the “gentle parenting” method. It relies heavily on “partnering” with children who don’t know what’s best for them and are relying on you to know instead. You should not be looking to make your child a partner in his own parenting, any more than you’d want the captain of your plane to invite you to be a co-pilot. Your captain’s commitment to democratic equality may flatter you for a moment, but it also makes it much more likely that you’ll die a fiery death.
If you go over to TikTok, as mentioned, you’ll find many examples of influencers promoting gentle parenting, and they all run into the same problem. Here’s one popular <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@billyvsco/video/7388490842463374634?_r=1&amp;_t=8obFMG2RMZ4" target="_blank" rel="noopener">gentle parenting video</a> from a guy with 12 million followers on the platform:
<iframe loading="lazy" title="005 Grounded" width="500" height="281" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/ia301QAGQ8g?feature=oembed" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share" referrerpolicy="strict-origin-when-cross-origin" allowfullscreen></iframe>
Now, it will not surprise you to learn that the comments — and there are hundreds of them — are all from people applauding this strategy and saying that they wish this guy was their own dad. That’s because most of the comments are likely from teenagers who, for obvious reasons, would love to have a dad who only grounds them if they agree that it’s fair, and who will still let them go to parties even when they’re grounded. Which is like the court sentencing you to house arrest, but then telling you that your house, for these purposes, includes anywhere on the Earth.
Of course, in real life, if you tell your teenage daughter that she’s grounded and then ask her if it’s fair, in a million cases out of a million, she will say “no.” What then? Will you respect her opinion and validate her perspective by throwing out the punishment? If so, what was the point of the whole exercise, other than making you look emasculated and weak? And if you will stick with the punishment even though she says it’s unfair, what was the point of asking her whether it’s fair or not?
This is what gentle parenting is all about. It’s designed to make parents look indecisive and pathetic in the eyes of their children. Here’s another <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@casiereeebs/video/7366812169196834090?_r=1&amp;_t=8obFajZFdzb">example</a>:
<iframe loading="lazy" title="004 Smart Kid Caught Lies" width="500" height="281" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/edLHVv-qK40?feature=oembed" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share" referrerpolicy="strict-origin-when-cross-origin" allowfullscreen></iframe>
Dear God. That video has 360 thousand likes by the way. Let me see if I have this right. Your daughter slammed the freezer door, lectured you, and instructed you not to eat food without her permission, and you stood there, tail between your legs like a scolded puppy and just took it? You allowed yourself to be chastised and reprimanded by your own daughter? You permitted her to rebuke you for eating your food that you purchased? This is disordered in the extreme.
What you and your husband should be communicating is that the ice cream is your ice cream. It is your fridge. Your kitchen. Your house. You don’t have to ask her for permission to do anything. She should be grateful that she has a roof over her head, a room to sleep in, and food to eat. You’re so generous that you even buy her ice cream sometimes. The only attitude you should accept from her is gratitude for the things you give her and the life your provide for her. And if she speaks to you that way, you should not respond by promising to give her more snacks in the future. No, you should take away snacks, take away privileges, take away freedom until she learns how to speak to you and afford you the respect that she owes you. The only things you have to give her are the basic necessities to keep her alive. Everything else is a privilege, and privileges can and should be revoked if they are not deserved.
I had to give my own daughter a lecture like this recently. She wasn’t scolding me for eating my own food out of my own fridge, and wouldn’t dare talk to me like that. But she did tell me, after I reprimanded her for not keeping her room clean, that it’s her room and she doesn’t know why I care so much whether it’s clean or not. I did not validate her feelings or get down to her level to make sure that she felt seen and heard. I didn’t get on my knees and look her in the eyes and say “I’m sorry you feel that way, sweetie. That must be so hard. I’d just really like it if your room was clean. Is that fair?”
No, instead I stood there and simply said: “No, it’s not your room. It’s my room. It’s my house. I let you stay in this room under certain conditions. One of those conditions is that you keep it clean. That’s a requirement. Not a request. I’m going downstairs and when I come back up in an hour, it will be clean.” That’s it. I wasn’t negotiating or asking for permission or trying to come to a consensus. I simply asserted my authority, gave the instruction, and made sure that I was clear.
It wasn’t any kind of revolutionary parenting technique. It was just parenting.
I want to play one more gentle parenting video for you. Another thing you hear from the gentle parents is that you shouldn’t punish your children. You should instead rely on “natural consequences.” What does that mean? Well here’s another popular parenting TikTok influencer named <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@drchelsey_parenting/video/7197264421532536106?_r=1&amp;_t=8obFnh7geOk" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Dr. Chelsey</a> — she has a doctorate in education, but still uses the “doctor” prefix — explaining how consequences should work:
<iframe loading="lazy" title="003 Parenting Kids" width="500" height="281" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/l6Yc6s3e0vs?feature=oembed" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share" referrerpolicy="strict-origin-when-cross-origin" allowfullscreen></iframe>
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Well you should know from the start not to pay attention to a parenting guru who can’t even get her own kids to be quiet for two minutes so she can record a video. More to the point, there’s a major problem with the consequences she suggests. She calls them “natural” — I don’t even know what that’s supposed to mean in this context — but they would more aptly be called flimsy and toothless. The problem with a “consequence” like pulling the car over momentarily before you start driving again, or taking TV away only until dinner, is that those consequences cause no discomfort, pain, or even inconvenience to your children. They aren’t going to care about the consequences because there’s no reason to care. A consequence should be something that causes them enough grief that they want to avoid it in the future. No other consequence has any meaning or will have any impact.
Think of the consequences that she says don’t work: taking away screen time, grounding, taking away a party that they were supposed to go to. But those are all good consequences, effective consequences, because they are consequences a child will not like. A child will be upset about losing screen time, losing a party, etc. And that’s the whole point of the consequence. If they are not upset with the consequence, then it was not a consequence.
The problem is that many parents today are terrified of making their children upset. They’d rather be friends than authority figures. They’re so focused on “validating” their kids that they’ve lost all sight of the much more important job, which is guiding, instructing, and civilizing their kids. That is the primary role of a parent. That IS parenting. Gentle parenting — like so many modern methods to come before it, and so many that will come after — may more accurately be called non-parenting. It is not a new way of fulfilling your parenting duties, but a way of abdicating them entirely.

Happy family: mother, father, children son and daughter on sunset

‘Gentle Parenting’ Is A Great Way To Turn Your Child Into An Obnoxious, Insufferable Brat

'Gentle Parenting' Is A Great Way To Turn Your Child Into An Obnoxious, Insufferable Brat

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