Your Cat May Be Plotting to Kill You.

Does your cat “accidently” trip you? Does he “playfully” paw at your mouth while you sleep till it’s hard to breathe? Does he ever “jokingly” scare the living hell out of you?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, please pay close attention:

That conspiracy theory that you’ve been piecing together in your head, the one about your creepy, evil cat being out to get you-well, that may not be so much theory as it is reality. And I mean like, real reality, not Global Warming “reality.”

No, I am not “kitten” you; your cat is most likely plotting to kill you as you read this very sentence according to a joint study by the University of Edinburgh in Scotland and the Bronx Zoo in New York. The research showed that “domestic house cats have similar personality traits to African lions.”

The study found that the personality structure of domestic cats is “strikingly similar” to those wild cats and seemed related to findings in other studies of tigers and cheetahs.

As for their neuroticism, domestic cats have “the highest loadings on anxious, insecure, and tense, suspicious, and fearful of people,” the study says.

They found that domestic cats share similar traits like neuroticism, dominance and impulsiveness with African lions.

Although one researcher claims that “it’s a pretty far stretch” to conclude that your cat is trying to kill you (that’s what they want you to think) per the revealed data from the study, let’s err on the side of caution.

If you’ve become increasingly suspicious of your cat, be vigilant and watch the “8 signs that your cat is trying to kill you” clip below (and act accordingly):

Yes, you may have just found out that your cat is trying to kill you (bummer), but knowing is the first step toward any real progress.

On a positive note, this is a boon to the dog stock. This study has solidified dogs as the undisputed “best domesticated pet” champs of the world!

Except of course, in China, Nigeria, Vietnam, Switzerland, Indonesia, South Korea and the Arctic, where dogs are still eaten there.