Washington Post Discovers Amy Barrett Belongs To Bizarre Cult Called ‘Christianity’ [Satire]

The Washington Post, where democracy dies in slavering hatred of Donald Trump that seems to seethe like acid inside your belly, eating through your guts until it devours your very soul causing your face to freeze in a distorted rictus of agony while words of malice and madness stream from your gaping mouth as if a demon were speaking from inside you so that at last you realize with horror that you have become Jennifer Rubin, reporters have uncovered a conspiracy involving Supreme Court nominee Amy Coney Barrett.

The exclusive Post investigation has revealed that for many years Barrett has been a member of a cult-like group known as “Christianity,” whose members gather every Sunday for a gory ritual in which they devour the body and blood of a human being.