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The revelation that the “hate crime” noose in Bubba Wallace’s garage was really just a rope put there to pull down the door months before his team moved in is not a surprise to anyone smarter than a sea sponge. The very idea that some racist with ninja-like abilities managed to sneak into a highly secure area, evading cameras and security guards, and plant a noose in a NASCAR driver’s stall, was hard to believe on its face. Add to the fact that these noose stories are almost always hoaxes or misinterpretations, and you had, from the outset, a high probability that this was all a bunch of outrage and drama over nothing. There is no sorcery that enabled the skeptics to see the future and anticipate such an outcome. It was just common sense, a thing in such short supply these days that it might as well be a magical power.
Of course, the Left isn’t willing to give up on this non-hate crime so easily. Charlatans like Al Sharpton were on TV early this morning implying that the pull down rope on the garage door might still be a hate crime and requires additional investigation. Bubba Wallace attended what turned into a televised therapy session with Don Lemon last night, and, while admitting that it probably wasn’t a hate crime, maintained that the rope was tied like a noose and that he’s never seen a rope like that in a garage in his life.
For the record, it was not a literal noose. NASCAR’s official statement citing the FBI’s finding states that it was a rope “fashioned like a noose,” which is short of calling it an actual noose. An actual noose closes when you apply pressure to it (that’s the whole point). Try shutting a heavy garage door with a noose and you’ll be rewarded with a broken hand. The offending knot served as a garage door pull; similar knots can be found in garages, on docks, and in fishing boats the world over.
I believe that many of the Leftist shut-ins and city slickers expressing confusion on this point may really have gone their whole lives without seeing a rope tied this way. That’s what happens when you’ve never been camping or fishing or participated in any other outdoor activity of that sort. But it’s hard to fathom that anyone in NASCAR would have mistaken a garage pull for a true “noose.” Nonetheless, NASCAR advanced the hate crime narrative before completing the investigation, and Wallace even insulted the skeptics who questioned it.
But the real headline to come out of this fiasco can be found in the first paragraph of the FBI’s statement announcing the conclusion of their investigation. The statements says, in part: “On Monday, fifteen FBI special agents conducted numerous interviews regarding the situation at Talladega Superspeedway. After a thorough review of the facts and evidence surrounding this event, we have concluded that no federal crime was committed.”
Fifteen FBI special agents? The government sent fifteen people to investigate a rope “fashioned like a noose” in a garage. What were they all doing? I imagine it takes one guy to look at the rope and observe that it is attached to the door. Perhaps one other guy to go check the security tapes. What task are the other thirteen performing? Did they need a separate person to Google “what is a noose”? Did they have someone dusting for finger prints or taking DNA samples? I simply can’t imagine how fifteen federal agents managed to occupy themselves with a garage door for two days.
This would be almost funny if not for the fact that there is something else of a rather more pressing nature they could be doing. As we speak, violent insurrections are wreaking havoc across the country. Buildings are being burned, police are attacked, statues toppled, innocent bystanders assaulted, whole city blocks occupied. And behind this chaos lies well funded organizations like Antifa and Black Lives Matter. Could those fifteen agents not have been sent to investigate this coordinated attempt to undermine law and order? Apparently not. As it stands right now, not much is being done about this anarchy. The anarchists are largely being allowed to commit crimes, even federal crimes, and those backing and funding and encouraging them are permitted to continue in those efforts unmolested. Instead, our government is committing significant resources to fighting the scourge of racist garage doors.
As a nation, we have descended into full on parody. Things seem like they can’t possibly get any dumber or more outrageous. But then again, tomorrow is a new day.