WALSH: Explaining Progressive Gender Theory To Right Wing Bigots


The first thing you must understand is that gender is a social construct. “Woman” and “man” are concepts arbitrarily invented by society. They have nothing to do with reality. A child is assigned one of these labels randomly at birth by primitive, backward-thinking doctors who, for no good or objective reason, have decided that a human child with a penis must be a boy and a human child with a vagina must be a girl. These words are all interchangeable, as are the body parts. None of it means anything, really.

But remember that the generic people we meaninglessly call “women” are beautiful and powerful and their arbitrary womanhood should be constantly celebrated. Women must band together and lift each other up. Women must be represented equally in all of our institutions. Women are truly wonderful, splendid, special creatures.

But there is nothing special about women. Literally anyone can be a woman. A woman is not anything in particular. A person with a penis can be a woman. A person with a vagina can be a woman. If a bucket of sand came to life and wanted to be a woman, it could be a woman. There is no aspect of womanhood that is ingrained or biological or inaccessible to males. And womanhood certainly has nothing at all to do with your body parts.

But if you don’t have a uterus then you shouldn’t be giving your opinion on women’s rights. No uterus, no opinion. That’s the motto. We’re tired of men making decisions about women’s bodies.

But there is no such thing as a woman’s body. Transwomen are women, too. A transwoman is just a much a woman as any other woman. There is absolutely no difference between the two and to suggest otherwise is the height of bigotry.

But anti-abortion laws are sexist because they specifically target women, who are the ones having babies. If men could have babies, abortion would be completely legal everywhere.

But men can have babies. And women can be fathers. And fathers can be mothers. And mothers can be men. And men can be women. And women can be men who are mothers. What is so confusing about this? How many times do I have to say it: men and women are exactly the same in every way and anyone who belongs to one group can just as easily belong to the other because there is absolutely nothing at all that objectively distinguishes these two categories and therefore you cannot say something about the one category that doesn’t apply just as much to the other.

But women are especially oppressed in our society. Men don’t know what it’s like for women in modern America. They have privilege and institutional power and they cannot possibly relate to the struggles of women. That is why it is so important to make sure that women are given every chance to succeed without being hampered by the unfair advantages given to men.

But males should be allowed in female sports. It is unthinkable to oppress a biological male by refusing him entry into female leagues. If the other girls don’t like it, they should check their privilege and shut their mouths.

But women must stand up and speak out against unfairness. They must be able to claim their own spaces. What belongs to them must not be appropriated.

But drag queens are gorgeous and amazing. There are few things more beautiful than the sight of a man in women’s clothing and fake breasts dancing around on stage.

But men are intrusive, arrogant jerks.

But men are women.

But patriarchy.

But construct.

But girl power.

But I’m confused.

Stop demanding coherence.

Coherence is for bigots.

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