Ladies and gentlemen, I am back. The last time you saw or heard from me, I was 40 weeks pregnant, but I gave birth to my third child on November 20. I absolutely missed being here, and I am excited to catch up. And while it’s the New Year, I am the exact same Candace. Regardless of the year or where we are in it, I am going to stand by my values and instill them in my own household. I will never turn my back on saying what I believe to be true in my heart.
As we enter 2024, I am doing just that by setting some resolutions for women on the internet. Is it more of the “be brave” or “be stunning” lingo? Actually, no. It’s less of that. Less of all that. I absolutely think we should all set New Year’s resolutions, and since I have a platform and many women follow me (some who like me, scores who don’t), I thought I should outline the top three New Year’s resolutions that women on the internet should adopt for 2024. These are three simple goals for internet behavior.
1. Stop Posting Near-Naked Pictures On The Internet
I discussed this on my show the first week I was back. I think everyone can do this. I believe it in my heart of hearts. For those who are deep into the addiction of putting the parts of your body Eve sewed fig leaves for all over everyone’s screens for likes and attention, take a small step. Try doing dry January. For the whole month of January, give it a go by not putting any of those pictures on the internet.
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One day, I am going to put together a rehabilitation center for these women. I really do believe this is becoming a mental disorder. I am exhausted opening my Instagram and seeing more of some women than I ever want to see. So if you could do us all a favor and put some clothes on this year, I think that would make a great first goal. In all honesty, I don’t think we’re going to be able to accomplish it, but I want to challenge everyone with the opportunity.
2. Stop Trauma Dumping
This trend has taken TikTok by storm. Some TikTokers are encouraging their followers to “trauma dump” which, according to them, involves skipping boring and uninteresting small talk to share dark, vulnerable stories instead. Others are crying in their posts with a tell-all, essentially living out private parts of their life very publicly. One TikToker in particular supports normalizing crying in your car when you think of books that make you feel sad.
Though they want to “normalize trauma dumping,” I would like to do the opposite. I would actually like to ab-normalize trauma dumping. Crying in your car because you think of a book? Is that really something we need to normalize? I think not. Let’s not do that.
Another TikToker is “living her trauma out loud” by posting what she calls a “very vulnerable video” in which she decries that her husband is getting more love from their child than she is. He comes in and comforts her while she cries and folds laundry.
What strikes me as most bothersome with this trauma dumping initiative is the camera set up. Before crying and folding laundry, the camera was set up in a perfect position to capture all this. It got her, her husband, and their child all in this moment. It’s as though they start to feel sad and think, let me set this camera up first.
We’ve got to stop doing this. I want women to button it up this year. I want women to be more emotionally stable on the internet. Plus, I just don’t think it’s healthy to grab your phone, set it up, and cry in front of a bunch of strangers.
3. Stop Lying To Each Other
Lena Dunham comes to mind with this resolution. She is one of the great arbiters of modern feminism — the feminism that tells women they should be naked all the time and overshare to any and everyone. Here’s an example:
Dunham is in a string bikini (how she often appears in posts), and she shows more of her body than any of us want to see. But what is more disturbing than the photo of Dunham in a string bikini are the comments people leave: fire emojis, heart eyes, and compliments telling her she’s “stunning” and “the hottest.”
I don’t know why women keep doing this. I’m not sure if they’re lying because it makes them feel good — or because they feel bad for her. But I suggest doing some soul searching to figure it out because it’s just not true. It’s a lie — and we should stop lying. You are not required to comment when you see a photo of someone who looks like this on the internet. (If everyone would just follow resolution #1, that would help some with #3.) You do not have to pretend something like this post is the most amazing thing you’ve ever seen. So please don’t.
So, those are my three resolutions for women. Near-naked posts, crying in your car, lying to each other — none of these are requirements. No one is asking you to do this, so let’s stop. Let’s button it up. Let’s be honest. I think if all just met these goals, that would be stunning and that would be brave.
Here’s to 2024. Let’s give it our best shot.