They’re Turning The Frickin’ Penguins Gay
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Opinion

They’re Turning The Frickin’ Penguins Gay

Michael Knowles

A London aquarium has announced that two lesbian penguins will resist traditional sexual stereotypes while raising their adopted chick. Four-month-old baby Gentoo will be “the world’s first penguin to not have its gender assigned,” Sea Life London exulted. General Manager Graham McGrath, who removed Gentoo from his — her? zer? — biological parents and placed him with the Sapphic birds, explained, “While the decision may ruffle a few feathers, gender neutrality in humans has only recently become a widespread topic of conversation, however, it is completely natural for penguins to develop genderless identities as they grow into mature adults.” McGrath did not elaborate on how he had ascertained the “natural” self-perception of unconscious marine birds.

The Sea Life London announcement recalls a similar episode 15 years ago, when The New York Times fêted two allegedly homosexual penguins at the Central Park Zoo. “Roy and Silo, two chinstrap penguins at the Central Park Zoo in Manhattan, are completely devoted to each other,” wrote the Gray Lady. “For nearly six years now, they have been inseparable. They … have sex. Silo and Roy are, to anthropomorphize a bit, gay penguins. When offered female companionship, they have adamantly refused it.” The coupling inspired such enthusiasm that zookeepers eventually took an egg from another pair of penguins and gave it to Roy and Silo, who raised the chick Tango as their own. But nature won out in the end, and the pair disappeared from headlines the following year when Silo shacked up with a lady penguin named Scrappy. The Times later admitted no one ever actually saw Roy and Silo have sex.

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