<p>&#8220;The Vampire Diaries&#8221; actress Claire Holt said that she felt an &#8220;overwhelming wave of anxiety&#8221; after learning that she was pregnant with her third child — a feeling she attributed to her 2018 <a href="https://www.dailywire.com/news/james-van-der-beek-gets-emotional-discussing-his-wifes-2019-miscarriage-so-much-pain" target="_blank" rel="noopener">miscarriage</a>.</p>
<p>Holt, 34, shared the news of her pregnancy in a Friday <a href="https://thecornerbyclaire.com/blogs/journal/im-pregnant" target="_blank" rel="noopener">blog post</a> at &#8220;The Corner by Claire Holt,&#8221; and said that she had noticed the same feelings during her previous pregnancies with son James (4) and daughter Elle (2).</p>
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<p>&#8220;I started to imagine who this little person would be and how excited I was to have another one, and then I was hit with an overwhelming wave of anxiety. I guess that&#8217;s what happens after miscarriage,&#8221; Holt wrote.</p>
<p>Holt went on to describe just how that anxiety had presented, adding, &#8220;<span style="font-size: 16px;">It was the same with James (to the absolute extreme), it was there during my pregnancy with Elle (albeit a little less intense) and I found myself experiencing it again this time,&#8221; she said. </span><span style="font-size: 16px;">&#8220;I took multiple tests each day to make sure the line was getting darker. My google searches switched to miscarriage statistics and signs of loss.&#8221;</span></p>
<p>&#8220;The Originals&#8221; actress said that she had expected to feel more hopeful — especially after she had had two healthy pregnancies after the <a href="https://www.dailywire.com/news/alyssa-milano-thought-miscarriages-were-punishment-for-her-abortions-felt-guilt" target="_blank" rel="noopener">miscarriage</a> – but that it hadn&#8217;t turned out that way.</p>
<p>&#8220;<span style="font-size: 16px;">I often wonder what it must be like to go through a pregnancy without worrying that something will take your baby from you. Without waiting for bad news at every appointment,&#8221; she explained, adding, &#8220;</span><span style="font-size: 16px;">I never really let myself get too excited, as if it would somehow protect me from the pain if something weren&#8217;t right. It&#8217;s a sad way to experience something so beautiful, but I guess it&#8217;s human nature to want to shield yourself from heartache.&#8221;</span></p>
<p>Holt shared the news of her miscarriage in a heartbreaking Instagram post, saying, &#8220;I took this photo 10 days ago, as I waited for surgery after my sweet little baby lost its heartbeat. I sent it to my fiancé in the waiting room to show him that I was ok. I wasn’t. I’ve never felt more broken in my life. I debated sharing this so soon and I’m still frightened about making such a private struggle public, but I’m doing it anyway because it&#8217;s important.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;I was desperate to find someone, anyone, who could relate to what I was feeling. Someone to tell me that the depression and hopelessness were normal. That it wasn’t my fault. That I wasn’t broken forever,&#8221; she added, saying that she had eventually found a community of women who had been through the same experience. &#8220;It breaks my heart to think that losing a baby feels like something we have to keep to ourselves. Why is it any different than the death of a loved one? How is it any less meaningful? Here is what I have learned as I begin to crawl out of the dark hole: support is everything.&#8221;</p>
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‘The Vampire Diaries’ Actress Reveals ‘Overwhelming’ Miscarriage Fears Amid Third Pregnancy

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‘The Vampire Diaries’ Actress Reveals ‘Overwhelming’ Miscarriage Fears Amid Third Pregnancy