News and Commentary

‘Take Jeb Instead’: Onion Article Has George Bush Shoving Jeb Into Father’s Grave

Sometimes the satirical news site The Onion can be bitingly funny. Sometimes it goes way over the line beyond “too soon” and into too tasteless. The site’s latest article showing former President George W. Bush shoving his brother, Jeb, into his father’s grave as he begs the Almighty to trade up is in that second category. See for yourselves:

The satirical article plays up the long-rumored rivalry between the two Bush brothers by portraying the 43rd president as an aggrieved madman who wishes Jeb had died instead of his father:

Having evidently entered the “bargaining” phase of grief in the wake of George H.W. Bush’s death, witnesses confirmed Thursday that George W. Bush shoved his younger brother into their father’s open grave while screaming “No, take Jeb instead!” “Please! Please! Oh, God, please don’t take my father away from me—take Jeb!” cried the former president and son of the deceased, wailing and thrashing as he fought his way past the several mourners and secret service agents in his way before using all his strength to push his brother toward the prepared burial site.

The Onion article then portrays George W. Bush exclaiming to the heavens that his “dumb” brother has no business being alive. “Please, God, it’s not fair that he should have to die while Jeb continues to live!” the fake Bush is reported as saying. “Please, take my dumb little brother and let my dad live—he has so much left to do here on Earth! Jeb is just annoying and pathetic. No one wants him around.”

Jeb Bush then quietly agrees to be buried alive.

The death of former President George H.W. Bush has largely been a point of unity this past week, especially in light of the fact that the Bush family chose to set aside politics during his funeral services so that the country could focus on his life accomplishments. Using it as an opportunity to bash the Bush kids at a time of them grieving over their father’s death is unbecoming of anyone, let alone a satirical site. Unsurprisingly, The Onion pulled the same stunt when John McCain’s health began to wane.

In August, when the late-Arizona Senator’s family announced that he would no longer seek treatment for his brain cancer, The Onion tweeted: “Meghan McCain Forced To Live Out Socialist Nightmare Of Empathy For Sick Person.”

Despite intense backlash on Twitter, that “joke” remains on The Onion’s website.

The Onion was equally merciless during the Justice Kavanaugh confirmation battle, routinely characterizing him as a sexual assaulter.