The decade's most triggering comedy
Until a few weeks ago, I had never even seen the Whatever podcast, and my limited knowledge of this show was that the host, Brian Atlas, sits with young women to discuss dating and relationships, and he occasionally invites a conservative to join the conversation. I found out that for the particular episode I was booked for, I would be sitting in a circle with sex workers to discuss their jobs. Not only did I not understand why I had been booked on the show, but I was also dreading the whole ordeal. I didn’t really think I was a fit for a show to sit across from women who would be talking about their OnlyFans careers and various sex work they do. I thought I would feel a lot of anger sitting with them, but, as it turns out, anger is not what I felt for these proud prostitutes.
When I sat down with these ladies, they each described what they did for a living. One was a singer and leans more conservative, but this was definitely not the case for the others. Two were on OnlyFans and two were prostitutes who claimed they save marriages because of the work they do as prostitutes and sex therapists. That’s correct. They believe they sleep with women’s husbands to save marriages.
One legal prostitute shared with the table that she has found it difficult to date and she’s “run into a lot of insecure men” because they “can’t handle” what she does for work. Brian interjected to clarify her statement, asking if the men were insecure or if they didn’t want to date her because she is currently an active prostitute. She explained she hasn’t been dating anyone while working at the brothels, the Bunny Ranch, or the Mustang Ranch; she has only dated between jobs. When she was pressed on what makes these men insecure, she said her exes would cry about her going into work at the strip club: “I’ve had guys try to control, like, what I wear and say that I can’t work at strip clubs or do OnlyFans or whatever.” Brian interjected again: “Is it because they’re insecure or is that just them having boundaries and standards?” Her argument was that these men knew what she did for a living when they met, so if they had a problem with it, they shouldn’t have gotten involved with her in the first place.
I realized in the middle of this conversation that while I had thought I was going to feel angry sitting with these women, I actually just felt a tremendous amount of sadness for them. This particular girl is 22 years old, and she sleeps with five to ten men a night, and I listened to her justify why her relationships are not working out — because, in her eyes, the men dating her are insecure — and it’s heartbreaking. She can’t see the reason these men don’t want her engaging in this type of work is that they care about her. They want to see her get out of this lifestyle. While a man probably shouldn’t have been drawn to her in the first place considering her line of work, the point is that once they try to get her out, she sees it as an indicator that he is insecure, not that he thinks she’s better than the career she has.
Unsurprisingly, money was an underlying theme in their reasoning for doing this work. Furthermore, they speak derogatively about men in general, seeming to have a fundamental lack of understanding of what a quality man even is and where to find him. Later in the interview, the same 22-year-old who thinks her exes are insecure said she plans to get out of sex work after she’s made plenty of money. She fully plans to get married and live happily ever after. I explained that when they are older and men find out they used to be prostitutes, their prospects are going to drop dramatically in number — not because men are insecure, but because they have standards. Though men are having to work harder than generations past to find a high-quality woman — a woman who wants to stay in the home, dress conservatively, raise children, and not sleep with tons of men — for the most part, they’re willing to do it.
I was adamant that the career they have chosen is going to follow them the rest of their life. This, of course, was not a point well received at the table so this same girl created a what-if scenario regarding my own husband. She posed a scenario to me: If my husband were to come to me and ask to engage in some perverse sex act with him, what would I do? She assumes most women’s answer would end up being to go see her so she can engage in that act with him thus sparing the wife but still pleasing the husband. I explained to her that one of the beautiful parts of a marriage is that I knew who my husband was when we married, so this scenario would never happen. But she continued on, asking what I would do if “things changed and maybe he wants to start exploring.” I responded that people don’t just wake up one day and think of these things; they pick them up in some perverse world and they’re not normal. She pressed further, wanting to know what I would do and if divorce would be on the table. My answer? “I would think that that individual would probably need therapy — and not the kind that you give,” as I pointed to the woman in her 40s who says she’s a sex therapist and sleeps with other women’s husbands.
While this 22-year-old seemed to be trying to trigger me, I wasn’t triggered. Rather, I felt disturbed that she was even coming up with such a scenario. But I realized her entire reality has been warped because she works in a brothel and sees up to ten clients per day — clients who probably represent to her what all men are like. It’s never occurred to her that she is seeing the most debased, pathetic men in society. It’s not your average man who goes into a brothel. It is certainly not an average happily married man who has such perverse thoughts. Yet for her, she sees that as the norm because it has become her reality. She believes that all men are like the men she sees and want what they want.
This is where society is today, and it’s why I devote so much time to speaking about the ills of what is happening in it. This girl’s mind is utterly polluted because of what she experiences every single day. A major part of the problem is the soft pornography we have all become accustomed to; it’s what you see as you scroll through Instagram and see models showing so much skin. It’s images that are desensitizing us all. We don’t even flinch anymore when we see an ad with a woman holding a purse who is half naked because we have become accustomed to seeing this type of image absolutely everywhere.
The culmination of such a society has brought us to women who are quite literally prostituting themselves because they know they can make a quick buck. But no matter how much they make, that money is going to come at a cost — which I do not mean paradoxically. If you want to make half a million dollars in your early to late 20s, you are going to realize later that no one wants to marry you. No one wants to have children with you. No one will respect you for the rest of your life. There is a great possibility you will end up alone — and that is deeply saddening.
At the root of all of this is a lack of faith — atheism, which goes hand-in-hand with narcissism. The focus becomes all about me and what I can do for myself. Worst of all, these women view faith as a form of perversion. In our conversation, I noticed one of the women was wearing a cross above a shirt that read “made in hell.” This particular woman was the angriest of the group, probably because she is in her early thirties and is likely realizing she has less time to find a husband and even fewer prospects. I asked her about her necklace and shirt pairing and told her I was confused. She said the stone matched her shirt and she didn’t know why she was wearing the cross: “I don’t know. I don’t think of it as religious.” In the middle of her fumbling around for an answer, she expressed that she didn’t think the cross was religious, but simply thought it was cute.
This whole episode just shows how the West has lost the battle faith-wise. People openly mock Christianity, just like this woman. When I got up to leave, I looked across the table to the 22-year-old in the orange and told her I was going to pray for her, and she rejected my prayer. She said she did not want me to pray for her. What kind of person rejects a prayer? You might not believe in prayers, and you might not pray yourself, but to openly reject a prayer? I would never reject a prayer, no matter the faith of the person who offers it.
When I left that podcast, I still prayed for those young women. They need it, and all of us need it.