Actor Ryan Gosling took home a Golden Globe on Sunday night for his performance in the critically acclaimed La La Land. He also took home a completely unwarranted nasty label of “sexist” for saying nice things about his wife.
When accepting his award for Best Actor, Gosling kept his humble speech short, making it a point to “thank one person properly,” his wife, actress Eva Mendes. Gosling explained that Mendes was home with their daughter, pregnant with their second child and taking care of her cancer-stricken brother in the midst of him working on the film. The Notebook actor profusely thanked his wife for her courage, which he credits for the ability to take his dream role.
“If she hadn’t taken all that on so that I could have this experience, it would surely be someone else up here other than me to today,” said Gosling. “Sweetheart, thank you.”
The actor went on to dedicate his award to Mendes’ brother, who sadly lost his battle with cancer.
The speech was the most touching and real of the night. Upon hearing Gosling’s words, Hollywood elites suddenly became real people. A notion some of us tend to forget, myself included. Mendes is suffering great loss, as is Gosling, just like we all suffer from time to time. And the devotion, sacrifice and appreciation Gosling spoke of is exactly what good marriages often entail.
But not all had the same take-away.
Feminist writer Narjas Zatat instead found fault in his moving tribute, condemning the speech and Gosling as “sexist.” Zatat penned a hit piece in The Independent aptly titled, “Ryan Gosling’s Golden Globes speech about his wife Eva Mendes wasn’t cute, it was sexist.”
“Despite the swooning on social media for his Notebook-esque outpouring, I can’t help but feel that Mendes, an award-winning actor in her own right, took one for the team and provided the emotional labour needed for Gosling to further his own career,” asserts the writer, as if shocked that sacrifice is a staple of marriage, or familial love.
Zatat egregiously prescribes motives to Mendes’ choices. She assumes the actress is forced into staying home and raising children because sexist Hollywood doesn’t provide her enough opportunities and because society makes the millionaire actress believe that’s her only option. Mendes’ choice to stand by her dying brother is also a perpetuation of gender stereotypes, she argues.
“Gosling’s appreciation for his wife, may be genuine but it plays into structural inequality women face in the workplace, least of all Hollywood. Yes, Mendes has agency, and the decision to put her career on the back burner for the sake of her husband’s was hers, but why did she have to make that decision to begin with?” asks Zatat.
The answer, of course, is that Hollywood is sexist and offers fewer roles for women than men.
Further, Mendes, who is apparently a brainwashed moron, is simply under the “assumption” as a woman that she is obligated to stand by her dying brother and her children. She doesn’t actually want to. And, by Gosling thanking Mendes for her help, he “perpetuates” this societal obligation.
“What’s more, there’s often an assumption within relationships that the woman will stay at home to look after children, sick or in other cases, ageing relatives,” says Zatat. “[W]omen are taught to be self-less and to care, and more often than not, feel an obligation to do so. It is something that is expected of women, and valorising it perpetuates this as an ideal that women have to live up to, and often make sacrifices for.”
Of course, the politically incorrect reality is that women are, generally speaking, more nurturing and do have a stronger inclination to be with their babies than men. It’s natural. That’s, of course, not to say that a working mother is bad thing, but claiming that these real, inherent inclinations don’t exist only advances a false notion of sameness, not equality.
Diving deeper into motives and hidden-meanings only a feminist can uncover, Zatat contends that Gosling gets away with his “sexist” speech because he’s previously mouthed-off pro-women remarks, which were actually designed to trick his spouse and the greater public. Seriously.
“Earlier this year, Gosling told the Evening Standard that women are ‘better’ and ‘stronger’ than men. Putting women on a moral pedestal in this way excuses men from transgressions, such as not coming home and helping with care work,” says Zatat.
“Gosling’s speech runs uncomfortably close to the old adage ‘behind every great man is a great woman’. No, she’s not behind you: she’s standing right next to you, and maybe you should tell the audience next time that you’ll be home to help out more,” she concludes.
Remember: Men are not allowed to show appreciation for their wives, that only perpetuates sexist gender stereotypes. Also, feminism is all about a woman’s “choice,” so long as she chooses what feminists like Zatat wish her to choose.