Satire

PHOTOS: It’s Always Sunny At The Daily Wire

(god-king or Charlie Day—NPR Reports, You Decide)

DailyWire.com

When I first read NPR’s story about why their readers should be very frightened of The Daily Wire’s success, I did not recognize my own boss.

Why, I wondered, skimming through the article, did it include a photo of “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” actor Charlie Day?

I wouldn’t have thought the star of “Horrible Bosses” would be a guest on Ben Shapiro’s Sunday Special. But hey, everybody’s getting red-pilled these days, so who knows?

Oh wait, I thought, maybe that’s not Charlie Day. Maybe it’s Marvel movie director James Gunn!

Imagine my shock when I read the caption and discovered the disheveled, bespectacled fellow was none other than DW’s fearless leader, small-g god-king Jeremy Boreing, circa 2009. Suddenly I wasn’t sure whether to ask Jeremy for a raise or MCU spoilers.

What, was there not a high school yearbook picture or awkward family portrait from the fifth grade you could dig up somewhere, NPR?

What’s hilarious, of course, is that NPR’s report supposedly points out our bias. (Never mind that the news outlet funded with tax dollars has to admit we don’t publish falsehoods). One of their experts, who confesses he’s depressed at our growing media empire, tut-tuts that highlighting selective information can be a way of pushing a political agenda.

So maybe something like choosing unflattering 12-year-old photos?

Seems like NPR needs a refresher course on its own Ethics Handbook.

From the “Visual Journalism” section:

Use images to convey information and tell stories, not to make the subjects look better or worse than the facts warrant.

Photographs we take and choose to use must individually or collectively, show the events they depict truthfully, honestly and without bias. 

Listen, NPR, the next time you want to run a hit piece on us, we’ll be happy to supply you with some updated photos that accurately represent the emperor-deity who currently occupies our corner office.

In fact, I want to help you out.  I went through our staff photo files and found a few shots of our sable-robed, god-king Jeremy as he appears when he sweeps through our halls and corridors. Not only were these taken within the last decade, but their big Game of Thrones energy should also be far more frightening to your audience of gluten-free, pronoun-posting beta males.

These should be much more effective at achieving your aim of convincing Coastal elites that The Daily Wire’s success is something they should be very, very worried about.

After all, nobody’s afraid of Charlie Day.

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