This article is part of Upstream, The Daily Wire’s new home for culture and lifestyle. Real human insight and human stories — from our featured writers to you.
***
It’s topped with “the glitter of the food world,” but Crumbl’s Almost Everything Bagel Cookie has divided dessert lovers ever since it debuted, and then disappeared, in 2022. “Crumbl must have been stoned when they came up with this idea,” one person suggested. But another wrote, “For the love of all things holy, and I’m not even religious, I’m begging someone to bring this back so I can finally try it.”
Let the blessings rain down upon us; the cookie is back once again on April 1. But this time, cookie couture gets a revamp as the Almost Everything Bagel Sandwich Cookie, sticking two everything bagel seasoned butter cookie thins to each other with a schmear of whipped cream cheese. Don’t wait for the movie because this oddball combo is making a splash for one day and one day only.
View this post on Instagram
We’ve had dark times ever since Crumbl’s original AEBC was unceremoniously booted from the menu almost as fast as it appeared. Yeah, it’s easy to love customer-favorite flavors such as churro, strawberries ‘n’ cream, and cake batter backed by 127,000 rave reviews. But even though we’ve had hundreds of other flavors to fill the gaping hole in our everything bagel-shaped hearts, this cookie’s singular appeal made it an ugly-cute star.
“Inspired by everything bagels with cream cheese, this cookie has been through multiple iterations, and has been market tested 7 times,” director of testing Amy Eldredge said of Crumbl’s first savory cookie. “The common thread we saw in testing was, ‘I wasn’t expecting to like this, but it’s really good, and I’m so glad I tried it!'”
Over the years, loyal members of the Crumbl crew have been busy crafting their own versions, claiming the sweet-and-savory cookie would make up a hypothetical “death row” meal as their very last pleasure on Earth. “PLEASE I LOVE THE EVERYTHING COOKIE I need it back so bad,” someone else begged.
Things got real over on Reddit when money entered the chat: “If any Crumbl employee wants to get paid for giving me the recipe so I can make it all the time, send me a private message.” There were claims that the base was simply made of Crumbl’s chocolate chip cookie recipe minus the chocolate chips, but the perfect swirl of cream cheese frosting on top remained a mysterious finishing touch. “I think about it every night b4 i go 2 sleep,” a Redditor confessed.
If you’re the kind of person who dumps Trader Joe’s Everything But The Bagel seasoning on everything, this drop is for you. But, notably, Crumbl’s version leaves out a few key players from the everything seasoning universe: garlic and onion. No worries, though. It nails the eye-popping visuals — for a cookie, at least — with the rest of the nutty blend of poppy seeds, sesame seeds, and salt.
“I love sesame flavor in dessert,” wrote an epicurean explorer. “A large part of Middle East, Mediterranean, and [Asian cuisine] has sesame-based desserts and they’re actually lovely!” Not only does the blend add punchy flavor, but it does so while lending a whisper of healthy fats, fiber, vitamins, and minerals, too. (It’s still cool if you just came for the salt.)
Why does it seem like everything bagel seasoning is everywhere right now? That might be because it is. Riding the garlicky coattails of the booming $6 billion global bagel market (Is Bagel HQ open for tours? Sign me up for the VIP experience), this iconic mish-mash seasoning has been having a moment for decades.
It’s so popular that it has several people fighting to be its inventor. Maybe most famously, New Yorker David Gussin claimed he accidentally created the seasoning blend while working at Charlie’s Bagels in Howard Beach, Queens, in 1980. “I was cleaning out the oven. I was sweeping out the seeds,” he said. “Instead of throwing them out, I swept them out into a bin.” The next day, when those would-be garbage seeds landed on bagels, customers went wild.
But hang on. Bagel factory worker Seth Godin claims his company sold everything bagels three years earlier, in ’77. And, calling out other so-called “bagel charlatans,” entrepreneur Brandon Steiner says he was 14 when he came up with the move in ’73. Restaurateur and “MasterChef” judge Joe Bastianich jokes that it was totally his original thing in the late ’70s, telling Bon Appétit, “I definitely invented the everything bagel. There’s no doubt … It’s one of those things that’s 100% true, 50% of the time.”
Lots of food brands have jumped on this winning seasoning train. Jeni’s launched cream cheese ice cream studded with “everything bagel gravel,” Kraft upgraded its boxed mac and cheese with a sprinkle of the stuff, Pringles turned everything bagels into a once-you-pop-you-can’t-stop can of chips, and Nature Valley put everything seasoning on its fall-apart granola bars. These days, you can find all sorts of snacks — from pretzels and rice cakes to hummus, cashews, and peanut butter — jam-packed with savory seeds.
Home cooks can also sprinkle everything bagel magic on fresh cantaloupe, hot buttered popcorn, avocado toast, roasted veggies, crusted salmon, pasta carbonara, monkey bread, and tomato jam rugelach. Why not put it on something sweet?
So are you guaranteed a bout of cookie FOMO if you can’t get your hands on Crumbl’s Almost Everything Bagel Sandwich Cookie? With locations in all 50 states, Canada, and Puerto Rico, there’s no reason to miss out.
“I’d still place EBC in my top 10!! 10/10, no notes. It perfectly struck the balance between sweet and salty, tasting just like a bagel,” said a positive reviewer. “This is nowhere near as sweet as the other Crumbl flavors … If you have the chance to try this one, I highly recommend.”
If this polarizing limited edition cookie disappears forever on April 2, it seems that’s just how the cookie Crumbls.

.png)
.png)

