Each Oscar season, we’re told that unless the Academy Awards delivers a bevy of gold statuettes to [FILL IN THE MINORITY GROUP], America is as divided and racist/sexist/homophobic/cisnormative as ever. And in predictable fashion, the Academy delivers those gold statuettes to the films and artists it sees as most likely to alleviate their supposed guilt for their bigotry.

With that in mind, it’s time to run down the odds for Best Picture at the Academy Awards. Never mind that the list didn’t include the excellent Blade Runner 2049, the solid Wind River, or the fun and creative Baby Driver. Here, according to the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, were the most deserving films of the year — and my analysis of which ones will triumph at the Social Justice Warrior Artistic Olympics.

Dunkirk: Dunkirk, like most of Nolan’s work, will stand the test of time. Does anyone remember what won Best Picture in 2009, the year The Dark Knight wasn’t even nominated? Answer: the mediocre Slumdog Millionaire (other nominated mediocrities included Milk, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Frost/Nixon, and The Reader). How about 2015, the year Interstellar wasn’t even nominated? Birdman won. Bird-freaking-man. That means that this year, when Nolan dropped one of the most iconic war films in history on the public, he’ll likely be swamped by similarly middling fare. Nolan is just too good at making movies people want to see, despite his artistic mastery.

The Darkest Hour: This film is quite good — like, The King’s Speech good. Gary Oldman should win Best Actor, and he likely will. Despite historical inaccuracies and a hokey scene in which Winston Churchill solicits the advice of a diverse group of commoners on the London tube before deciding whether to negotiate with Hitler, the film works. With that said, it doesn’t make Academy members feel good about themselves — it’s not obviously a rip against President Trump, for example — so this film has no shot at the top Oscar.

Get Out: This film is the sleeper — and, I believe, the most likely film to come from behind and grab the Best Picture prize. That’s because it’s a well-crafted, clever, beautifully-shot, obscenely racist film implying that all white people — white people who voted for Obama, white girlfriends who want to have raunchy sex with black boyfriends, white people who revel in welcoming black people into their social circles — are actually devious, predatory racists seeking to drain black men of their identity and use their bodies for quasi-slave labor, Stepford Wives­-style. The critics have tiptoed around this obvious truth because the film is so well-made, and because in truly ironic fashion, white upper crust leftist critics buy into this idea in order to disassociate from their own supposed “white privilege.” Reverse the races, however, and the film could have been made by a directorial devotee to the ideology of Richard Spencer.

Call Me By Your Name: This film has received oddly muted response from the usual social circles. The story of an older man seducing a 17-year-old boy would usually be Oscar gold — but last year, the Academy handed Best Picture to a gay love story about young black boys trying to escape the brutalities of inner city life. Somehow, a gay love story set in Italy between upper-crust white folks falls short.

Lady Bird: In the mold of Little Miss Sunshine, Lady Bird is a small, charming film about a girl coming of age and learning to deal with her mother. No shot.

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri: Three Billboards has received every accolade so far this year, from the Golden Globes to the SAG Awards. But there’s a backlash brewing — a backlash that feels familiar from the days of Zero Dark Thirty and La La Land. The inevitability that dogs frontrunners seems likely to take down Three Billboards, particularly since there are those on the Left who believe that the film glorifies a white supremacist.

The Shape of Water: Guillermo Del Toro is receiving plaudits for his latest visual masterpiece — and the film certainly looks phenomenal. It’s also a heavy-handed upgrade of Splash. Metaphor doesn’t usually work for the Academy unless it’s theater-centric metaphor, and so it seems unlikely that Shape captures voters’ hearts.

Phantom Thread: This is the obligatory Paul Thomas Anderson nomination. No shot.

The Post: If Spotlight hadn’t won the top award in 2016, The Post would be a frontrunner. But the cloyingly glossy take on the Power Of Journalism seems hackneyed, despite the attempts of the leads to turn the piece into a critique of Trumpian power.

So, there are your Oscar nominees. Let’s see who wins the latest “Movie Nobody Has Seen But Makes Hollywood Feel Good About Their Unearned Moral Superiority” Award.