So the other day I come up with this joke. Nothing that’s going to win me an HBO Special, mind you, but a pretty good piece of Twitter-fodder — you know, something to feed The Machine. Now anyone who follows me is well aware that I do not exactly filter the stream-of-consciousness that is my Twitter stream. This particular joke, though, I did decide to hold back. You see, when you get to a certain age, experience informs your mind’s eye, which means you can witness the domino effect of the consequences of your behavior.
Anyway, in order to work, the joke would require two tweets.
TWEET ONE:
Hey, I left the Time Machine behind the shed under a tarp. Sorry I’m late, but I was able to slip Doris Day a roofie.
TWEET TWO:
Please ignore that last tweet. It was supposed to be a DM.
So I tweet that out and right away the SJW Harpies go on the attack: NOLTE’S MAKING FUN OF RAPE! (I’m not.) NOLTE THINKS RAPE IS FUNNY! (I don’t.) Hey, chill, you joyless strumpets, it’s just a joke — a dumb joke meant to make you smile for a half-second because it’s irreverent, inappropriate, self-deprecating, and catches you a little off guard.
Now, being yelled at by SJW Shrews doesn’t bother me in the least. Everyone has the right to criticize me. Everyone has the right to condemn my joke. God bless America.
What my mind’s eye tells me, though, is that things will not stop there. The mob will come after my livelihood. They will try to make Daily Wire editor-in-chief Ben Shapiro answer for my actions. And while he will stand by me, my actions will have brought unnecessary complications into his life. Then the boycotts against the site begin, which means our advertisers are brought into it.
So please don’t tell me I enjoy free speech in this country, because I don’t, and neither do you.
It’s just a fact that we live in a country filled with fascist mobs — on the left and right — ready and eager to burn down your life over a joke or tweet.
It’s all very simple: if you have to worry about losing your livelihood over a joke, you don’t have free speech.
“Saturday Night Live” sucks. What started out in 1975 as something so special I own the first five seasons on DVD, has devolved (especially over the last 15 years) into a cult of nasty, groupthinking leftists who are no longer even close to funny.
A show built on the idea of being provocative and fresh is now a cowardly bed of smug, predictable confirmation bias only interested in tickling the sweet spot of Coastal Elites. And twice now, just in the last two months, SNL has actually stopped in its tracks for outright idolatry — to sing songs to Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama.
Man alive.
Everything that makes me who I am, hates “Saturday Night Live.” Nothing would make me happier than to see that pompous, priggish, puffed-up, pretentious, propaganda pipeline canceled.
So by extension, I despise Katie Rich, a writer for SNL. I don’t even like her face. Look at her stupid face. The supremacist leftism oozes from her every pore. Looking at her, you just know she screamed “Towanda!” during each of her six abortions. And that’s a face that hates me, so with or without your permission, I’m just gunna go ahead and hate that face right back.
And then! AND THEN! The person that owns that stupid face is guilty of violating my only rule of comedy (stolen from Dennis Miller) — the rule that says absolutely nothing and no one is off-limits except for those who can’t defend themselves — you know, like a 10-year-old kid.
Yep, Mz. StupidFace attacked 10-year-old Barron Trump. What kind of person does that? Who birthed this monster? Where is her humanity? Who is so twisted and gnarled and controlled by their politics that they see an innocent child only as a target of partisan opportunity?
There is, though, something I hate even more than SNL, more than Mz. StupidFace, more than attacks on children… I hate that Mz. StupidFace had to delete her Twitter feed (it is back now) and lost her livelihood (she is indefinitely suspended) over a terrible, tasteless joke.
What the hell is going on in this country?
How do we have free speech in America if terrible people can’t tell terrible jokes without having to fear that, as a consequence, their lives are going to be ripped to shreds by online mobs?
Dear Pedants: I get it — the First Amendment only protects speech from government censorship. I get it — actions have consequences. I get it — you have a right to criticize, complain, and boycott. I get it — NBC has every right to suspend or fire her. I get it — the left is always on the hunt for one of our scalps. I get it … I get it! … for crying out loud, I GET IT!
Call me an idealist, but I want to live in an America where a tasteless Twitter joke doesn’t result in you losing your livelihood. Seeing Katie Rich lose her job because SNL sucks and is canceled — hey, beers on me. But over a joke? Come on, y’all.
Some of you may not know this, but comedy — especially stand-up comedy — has been destroyed by politically correct fascism. Oddly enough, it all started on SNL when a bunch of dried-up female castmembers boycotted Andrew Dice Clay. The PC fascists even went after the great Sam Kinison over AIDS and Africa jokes.
Only The Mighty George Carlin refused to buckle… (NSFW)
… and we lost him ten years ago.
If my FREEDOM argument can’t convince you, how about that most American of motivations … self interest?
When the day comes when you cross that line, and you’re fighting for your own life and livelihood, don’t you at least want to not be a squealing little hypocrite?
Follow John Nolte on Twitter @NolteNC
