John Kasich desperately wants to be vice president.

That’s the only possible rationale for his quixotic, ridiculous campaign. Kasich had to prove one thing and one thing only: he could win Ohio. He’s run his entire campaign to win Ohio. He’s done decently in New Hampshire and Vermont, but fallen apart everywhere else. Even after his Ohio win last night, he had less delegates than the man who dropped out, Senator Marco Rubio (R-FL). He’s spent almost no debate time attacking the frontrunner for the nomination, Donald Trump; instead, he keeps making the obvious and rather silly argument that he’ll win Republicans Ohio. Last night, as he made his incoherent, wild victory speech, the screen behind him read, “As Ohio Goes, So Goes The Nation.”

Yes, John, we get it.

But just to drive home the point, Kasich will now stay in the race to prevent Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) from winning the nomination or denying Trump the nomination. Kasich is disqualified from winning the nomination. He would have to win more delegates than technically exist. He rebuts this unrebuttable contention by stating, “Math doesn’t tell the whole story in politics.” But when it comes to delegate counts, it does.

So why is Kasich still in this thing? Because Kasich knows that of all the humans on earth technically qualified to be vice president, Cruz would choose Kasich only over Trump – he’d choose a basement-living brony before choosing Kasich, and there’s a solid shot the basement-living brony would give better speeches.

And so Kasich stumps for Trump. He rides the Trump Train like the political hobo he is. Now he’s buying ad time in Utah – a state Cruz is likely to win – in order to split votes and possibly win the state for Trump.


Kasich portrays himself as above the fray, the man taking the high road. Actually, he’s just taking the self-serving road. And that road leads directly to a Donald Trump nomination. Kasich’s about to find out, however, that if he trusts Trump to repay him for his Chris Christie-like efforts, he could find himself standing behind Trump’s other shoulder, looking for all the world like a man who has just discovered that life is meaningless and then you die.