After doing away with traditional marriage, traditional notions of liberty, and traditional American perceptions of exceptionalism and power, President Obama has now declared that he will present a “nontraditional” State of the Union. If he truly wants to be “nontraditional,” he’ll admit he’s blown it everywhere. But he won’t, obviously.
His “nontraditional” State of the Union will instead be an intensely traditional campaign speech. He has now released a SOTU video preview, embedded above. In it, Obama explains:
As I’m writing, I keep thinking about the road that we’ve traveled together these past seven years, the people I’ve met, the stories that you’ve shared, the remarkable things that you’ve done to make change happen…That’s what makes America great, our capacity to change for the better….[I’ll focus on] what we all need to do together in the years to come.
The State of the Union has become a pathetically royal routine unfit for the American tradition. Obama didn’t invent that. But he’ll take full advantage of the trappings to speak to us from on high, touching our heads with his Scepter of Divine Goodness.
President Obama entered office promising a transformation of America. And he’s not going to back off that transformation simply because his term of office is ending. Instead, he’ll lecture us on what’s wrong with us, and how if we keep electing Democrats forever, our souls will be changed. He’ll pooh-pooh Islamic terrorism, then move on to his real enemies: the Constitution and the American people. He’ll pat us on the head for embracing same-sex marriage and he’ll tell us we support gun control; he’ll soothe us on how far we’ve come on race relations. Then he’ll proceed to tell us how America is a terrible, awful place full of horrible redneck racist xenophobes – because we still have so far to go.
He’ll tell us how he’s moved us one step closer to Utopia, but the road is long. The phrase “right side of history” will be used 1,000 times. The paraphrase of MLK’s “arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice” will be used approximately 135% as often. And Obama will talk a lot about himself.
We know what this will be. It will be a longer, gaudier version of Obama’s gun control presser the other day. There will be tears; there will be laughter.
Most of all, there will be vomit.
Prepare now, or spend the day after with a mop and a bottle of Lysol.