On Tuesday, The New York Times published a piece designed to teach you how to most productively argue with your conservative or liberal uncle at the Thanksgiving table. Unfortunately, the piece essentially argued that the best way to argue with your conservative uncle was to wait for him to admit that his support for President Trump was foolhardy and ignorant, and that the best way to argue with your liberal uncle was to agree with him.
Seriously.
The author of the piece, Dr. Karin Tamerius, a former psychiatrist and founder of Smart Politics, says that she has developed a &#8220;five-step method to help people have difficult conversations.&#8221; She then applies that method to arguing with one of your two politically-driven uncles.
Take first arguing with your conservative uncle.
According to Tamerius, the conversation should go something like this:
<blockquote>
CONSERVATIVE UNCLE: Trump has been great for America! Just look at the economy, it&#8217;s booming.
YOU: So how are you doing financially?
CONSERVATIVE UNCLE: How am I doing? Not that great actually&#8230;But things would have been worse under Hillary!
</blockquote>
Notice how your conservative uncle is already a dupe. He can&#8217;t back up his statements that the economy is doing well &#8212; which it obviously is &#8212; and he&#8217;s economically dispossessed himself, which means he&#8217;s a fool. But the conversation continues, with you convincing your uncle that his support for Trump has no rational basis.
<blockquote>
YOU: What are your biggest economic hurdles right now?
CONSERVATIVE UNCLE: My biggest hurdles? Well&#8230;No matter how hard I work I can&#8217;t get ahead. I&#8217;m living paycheck to paycheck.
</blockquote>
Now, conservative uncle is primed to become a Bernie supporter. So, make it happen!
<blockquote>
YOU: So you feel pretty insecure money-wise despite how hard you&#8217;re working.
CONSERVATIVE UNCLE: Yeah, I do feel insecure money-wise. And I dunno how long I can keep up.
YOU: Things are tough for people like us. I&#8217;m worried about the future.
CONSERVATIVE UNCLE: Yeah, it is tough. Things were easier for my parents.
YOU: When I was a kid, I remember Dad going on a strike for better pay at his factory&#8230;
</blockquote>
Workers of the world unite! And you&#8217;re convincing Conservative Uncle to join the AFL-CIO and vote for Kirsten Gillibrand in 2020! Well done, you!
Now, take the conservative talking to the liberal uncle. It turns out that unlike conservative uncle, liberal uncle is well-spoken, and his fundamental philosophical take is eminently correct &#8212; at least according to Tamerius. Your best strategy is to agree with him. Here&#8217;s the sample conversation:
<blockquote>
LIBERAL UNCLE: We need Medicare for All. Health care is a human right.
YOU: OK, can you tell me more about that?
</blockquote>
You are advised not to ask about the definition of rights or who would pay for Medicare for All, because that would be offputting. Instead, ask Liberal Uncle why he&#8217;s so wonderful. And he&#8217;ll sure tell you!
<blockquote>
LIBERAL UNCLE: Say more about it? Sure! No human being should go without health care just because they can&#8217;t afford it.
YOU: Well, how do you think we should fix this issue?
</blockquote>
You are advised not to tell Liberal Uncle that people ought to work, or that it&#8217;s already illegal for hospitals to turn away people because they can&#8217;t pay. Instead, ask him why he&#8217;s so smart.
<blockquote>
LIBERAL UNCLE: How to fix it? Many people can&#8217;t even afford medications or primary care. If we expand Medicare to include everyone those people can get the help they need!
</blockquote>
Now you have a few choices: you can point out that national health insurance has historic problems, that America has a good health care system, or you can kowtow. Guess which one is recommended.
<blockquote>
YOU: So, you think the government has a responsibility to make sure every person has basic health care, is that right?
LIBERAL UNCLE: A right to basic health care? Yes, it&#8217;s a right. Everyday people die needlessly in this country because they can&#8217;t pay for medical treatment.
</blockquote>
Now your best strategy is to agree with your uncle. So Liberal Uncle has now convinced you.
<blockquote>
YOU: I agree that no one should have to go without medical care because they can&#8217;t afford it.
LIBERAL UNCLE: Really? I&#8217;m glad to hear that we are in agreement about what a big problem health care is for the nation&#8230;!
</blockquote>
Now you&#8217;re told not to point out that we could pursue the same goal with smaller government &#8212; that&#8217;s tangential and offputting. Instead, tell a story.
<blockquote>
YOU: Did I ever tell you about the time&#8230;
</blockquote>
In the end, the Times insists that you ought to simply agree with Liberal Uncle and assume Conservative Uncle is a dunce. After all, as Tamerius explains, every liberal change begins with your stupid Conservative Uncle:
<blockquote>
The civil rights movement, the women&#8217;s movement, the antiwar movement, the gay rights movement, the struggle for marriage equality &#8211; all gained acceptance through difficult conversations among family members who initially disagreed vehemently with one another.
</blockquote>
But no, there&#8217;s no bias at The New York Times.

Menu

NYT Gives You Advice On How To Argue With Your Liberal/Conservative Uncle At Thanksgiving Dinner. It’s Ridiculous.

Read Ben’s op-eds for just 99¢