You’re a mean one, Mr. Trump. You really are a heel.
You’re as cuddly as a cactus, you’re as charming as an eel
President Trump kicked off his war against the “War on Christmas” this year by releasing his new Christmas-themed MAGA hat that indeed said the words “Merry Christmas” across the back.
Sure, the hats cost $45, nearly double the price of his traditional MAGA hat, but it’s not like President Trump signed some Executive Order demanding that Americans purchase one, unlike the Democratic Party which demands we all buy health insurance or dish out half our hard-earned income to social programs. Yet, according to Newsweek, Trump committed a grave sin by charging people to freely purchase an item.
“What would Jesus do about President Donald Trump’s overpriced Christmas hats?” Newsweek asks. “Some Trump fans might rush to get these as stocking stuffers. But one very important figure — the son of God himself — probably wouldn’t approve.”
The piece then goes on to cite several verses from Scripture denouncing greed, as if Trump’s charging $45 for a hat is tantamount to charging starving children $45 for a bowl of rice.
“In 1 Timothy, The Bible says, ‘For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs,'” Newsweek continues. “‘Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you,’ Hebrews 13 reads.”
It is unclear if the next paragraph was intended to be satire or not. As it stands, it appears that Jesus would not approve of hats mixed with Christmas at all, according to Newsweek: “The Bible even takes a stand against hats, regardless of whether they’re selling for $45. 1 Corinthians says you shouldn’t cover your head while praying.”
The Twitterverse has also been hailing the Trump-Grinch hat as a “foul one”: