KLAVAN: Doing The Toobin

Jeffrey Toobin, Senior Legal Analyst, CNN speaks at the 2016 "Tina Brown Live Media's American Justice Summit" at Gerald W. Lynch Theatre on January 29, 2016 in New York City.
Paul Zimmerman/WireImage via Getty Images

I am, by nature and philosophy, a sexual libertarian. If you’re an adult, acting in private without harm and with consent, I could not care less what kinky little fetish turns you on. It’s truly none of my business.

But then there’s Jeffrey Toobin. Toobin is — or maybe was — a New Yorker writer and CNN legal analyst. He has spent the last four years doing almost nothing but attacking Donald Trump. President Trump just doesn’t live up to Toobin’s moral standards.

“His complete disregard for norms. His constant lying. His inability or unwillingness to play by rules that Democrats and Republicans have played by for certainly all of my conscious life. It makes everything about these last three and a half years just feel different than anything I’ve ever covered,” he once said.

He was flogging a book then, but this week, during a Zoom call with the New Yorker, he was caught onscreen flogging something else entirely.

Toobin already exposed himself as an unsavory character ten years ago when he impregnated what was apparently one of several of his extra-marital mistresses, and then tried to stiff her on child support.

But that’s something any jag-off might do. Actually jagging off during an online business call — that’s something else. That’s deviant and abusive, a high-level act of sexual harassment.

Toobin was immediately suspended from the New Yorker, but CNN was slower to act. Why should they act? Wanking on camera is what CNN commentators do. It’s practically their job description. And it’s not just them either. As Election Day approaches, virtually the entire Democrat establishment and its poodle press are involved in one gigantic circle jerk, pleasuring themselves and each other while lost in a pornographic dream of destroying Donald Trump.

They are all doing the Toobin right there in front of us.

The New York Times, a former newspaper, ran an entire Sunday section denouncing the president.

“Donald Trump’s re-election campaign poses the greatest threat to American Democracy since World War II,” the paper Toobin-ed.

And I mean: srsly? There was Hitler’s War Machine, and then The Donald? No Cold War? No Cuban Missile Crisis? No Islamist Terror? Just Trump. And what makes Trump such a threat exactly?

“As the world runs out of time to confront climate change, Mr. Trump has denied the need for action… He has mounted a cruel crackdown on both legal and illegal immigration… he has sought to persuade both Congress and the courts to get rid of the Affordable Care Act…” and so on.

He disagrees with the Times, in other words. I am literally shivering in my literal shoes.

Times Editorial Board Member Mara Gay went on MSNBC to explain: “When The New York Times endorsed Joe Biden, we didn’t do it because The New York Times is a partisan newspaper. We’re actually not partisan… This is really about right and wrong and saving the soul of the nation.”

We’re not partisan. We’re just saving the nation from people with different opinions than ours. If that’s not an exercise in Jeffrey Toobin-ing, I don’t know what is.

“Donald Trump threatens the existence of human life — of all life on this planet,” Elizabeth Warren toobin-ed.

“If the president had done his job…  all the people would still be alive,” toobin-ed what used to be Joe Biden.

Trump can be rude and crude and bumptious, I’ll admit, but it isn’t that that has led an entire class of Americans into O-faced cries of ecstatic hatred.

No. Donald Trump is a threat, but not to American democracy. He’s a threat to a two-party system that has become, as the youngsters say, an op: a simulation of democracy in which both parties do almost nothing but pass around an ever-fattening public purse. The new revelations of Joe Biden’s probable participation in his son’s influence peddling show Joe to be a veritable poster boy of exactly what the people were protesting when they voted Trump in. Drain the swamp, they said. Biden is Swamp Thing.

And sure, Trump is an imperfect vessel of reform. But show me another as willing to brave the slings and arrows of our corrupt media and do what the people want to see done — namely give them a government that serves them instead of playing with itself.

Jeffrey Toobin is deviant and disgusting, but no more than the rest of the media and the party they serve. He was doing exactly what they’re doing. He was just a little bit more honest about it.

The views expressed in this opinion piece are the author’s own and do not necessarily represent those of The Daily Wire.

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