Join Dennis Prager as he explores common obstacles to the pursuit of happiness that many people face.
Prager, the founder of PragerU, has a long-running interest in the subject of happiness — in 1998 he published ‘Happiness Is a Serious Problem: A Human Nature Repair Manual’, and he carries over many of the same insights into his lecture on the subject.
Firstly, Prager argues that happiness is not merely an arbitrary emotional state: it is something that must be actively pursued, the same way a person would pursue a career, an education, a relationship, or any other value in life. Happiness has prerequisites, and foremost amongst them is gratitude.
“You can’t be happy if you’re not grateful,” Prager says. Being able to appreciate the things that you have instead of obsessing over the things that you don’t is immensely important — if you don’t appreciate the blessings you have in life, how are they supposed to make you happy?
Unfortunately, many people construct their entire identities around the idea that they are a victim, that they are oppressed, that they have been wronged and denied the goods and opportunities they deserve — victimhood has acquired an air of prestige and moral superiority.
“If you think of yourself as a victim, by definition you are not a grateful human being,” Prager notes, adding that the sense of victimhood actively inhibits happiness because to the extent that you allow yourself to enjoy what you have, you undercut your vision of yourself as a victim.
WATCH: Episode 7: Hurdles to Happiness
Prager also points out that many of the loudest ‘victims’ in our culture are some of the most privileged people to walk the earth — full-time students at prestigious universities, who enjoy all the luxuries of modern life and have been given years to pursue their chosen interests without needing to enter the workforce.
Prager also argues that even for people who have suffered horrific abuses, a victimhood-centered mindset is still stultifying and unproductive.
“You choose whether or not you see yourself as a victim,” Prager says, noting that for most people throughout most of human history, life was extraordinarily hard. Even so, in the face of war and famine, and plague, many people have worked hard and cherished whatever fortune came their way, living happy and meaningful lives. “You are not necessarily objectively a victim, you have chosen to regard yourself as such.”
Prager says that people should temper their expectations, because if you expect something to happen you don’t appreciate it when it does – you become indignant when it doesn’t. For instance, the people who most appreciate the blessings of good health are those who have suffered from a serious illness: people who have been healthy all their lives and consider it a given. In virtually every home in America the lights turn on and our toilets flush at the mere press of a button; that is only true because of the hard work of countless scientists, engineers, electricians, plumbers, and an entire societies’ infrastructure, yet most of us go years with without spending even a second appreciating those small miracles.
“I expect virtually nothing, so that everything I get I am grateful for,” Prager said.
Prager also advised against comparing yourself to other people or getting too attached to certain visions of how the world should be. While being inspired to better yourself is a positive thing, life will rarely unfold exactly as you envisioned it, and people’s lives are rarely as rosy as our superficial judgments of them may be. It’s better to appreciate your successes rather than obsess over your failures or denigrate your accomplishments against those of other people.
“Looking around thinking how lucky you are, that’s the mother of gratitude, and gratitude is the mother of happiness.
“I am not simply convinced that the ideas in this episode will change people’s lives, I know they will,” Prager says. “I can tell you what works, you choose whether to use it.”
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In 2020, The Daily Wire joined forces with Dennis Prager to expand the reach of PragerU’s culture-changing content. Going beyond five-minute videos, Prager is now distilling his wisdom and experience into a series that will strengthen minds and improve lives.
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