It was another totally normal Sunday in Portland — if your idea of normal involves spandex-clad lefty activists grapevining in front of a federal detention center.
Roughly two dozen self-described freedom fighters gathered outside the ICE facility in the city’s South Waterfront earlier this week for what they called “Sweatin’ Out the Fascists.” Their chosen form of resistance? Aerobics.
Yes, the neon-leotard, Jane-Fonda-in-1983 kind.
The group, organized by a local gym called Fulcrum Fitness, claimed they were standing up for democracy and due process. Apparently, nothing says “down with authoritarianism” like synchronized lunges to Depeche Mode. Participants sported animal-print tights, leg warmers, and righteous indignation, all while doing their best to out-woo each other in time to new-wave beats from the 1980s. One instructor yelled, “It’s time to sweat out the fascists!” into a microphone — a sentence that surely made future historians put down their pens in despair.
In a city where past protests have involved tear gas and federal agents, this one had a different energy: part political statement, part flash-mob nostalgia trip, part very public cardio session. The organizers framed it as a “playful, creative” approach to dissent, as some demonstrators have been using absurd visuals to mock the Trump administration’s assessment that a Portland ICE facility was “under siege from attack by Antifa” as exaggerated. Others might call it performance art for people who still own a VHS copy of Flashdance.
Halfway through the spectacle, ICE officers appeared on the roof with pepper-ball guns at the ready — a surreal juxtaposition of federal muscle and fluorescent spandex. Nearby campers got a few rounds of pepper balls for their trouble, while the aerobics crowd kept “vibing,” to use one participant’s word, apparently believing fascism could be burned off like extra calories.
Anti-ICE protesters do the “anti-ICE dance” in Portland. pic.twitter.com/85pqLQyTEM
— Catch Up (@CatchUpFeed) November 13, 2025
The protest’s vibe of cheery absurdity fits into a local trend: previous anti-ICE events at the same facility have featured inflatable frogs, Latin dance classes, and crochet circles. It’s less Les Misérables and more Portlandia: The Resistance Edition.
One participant declared the goal was to show Portland isn’t “a war-torn city on fire” but a “fun-loving city” — because nothing says civic stability like mock-jogging in front of federal law enforcement. Another insisted that synchronized movement and community spirit were ways to “defy the fascist government.”
In the end, the protesters declared victory, having successfully demonstrated that revolution can, in fact, come in Day-Glo spandex and high-impact step routines. Whether ICE felt the burn remains unclear, but one thing’s certain: Portland has officially turned resistance into a workout plan.
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