As the November election rockets toward us like a rocket that will explode and scatter our bodies and possibly even our souls over a gore-spattered kill-zone that used to be America until it was hit by a rocket, it’s time for us to ask ourselves: what are the choices we should be thinking about as we writhe in a strangling paroxysm of mutual hatred and rage until we’re hit by the November election as if it were a rocket?
First, there’s the candidates themselves. On one side, we have Joe Biden. And hey, let’s say something positive about our president. I mean, sure, he’s a lifeless body that’s been horrifically re-animated for political gain, but at least he doesn’t eat people’s brains, so it’s better than having an actual zombie in the White House, although that might be kind of cool, too, like, if he was shuffling aimlessly around the Rose Garden muttering incoherently with his mouth hanging open and his eyes glazed — but then he’s doing that already, so you get all the great zombie effects without the actual eating of brains. So hooray for Joe Biden.
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