As the November election rockets toward us like a rocket that will explode and scatter our bodies and possibly even our souls over a gore-spattered kill-zone that used to be America until it was hit by a rocket, it’s time for us to ask ourselves: what are the choices we should be thinking about as we writhe in a strangling paroxysm of mutual hatred and rage until we’re hit by the November election as if it were a rocket?
First, there’s the candidates themselves. On one side, we have Joe Biden. And hey, let’s say something positive about our president. I mean, sure, he’s a lifeless body that&#8217;s been horrifically re-animated for political gain, but at least he doesn’t eat people’s brains, so it’s better than having an actual zombie in the White House, although that might be kind of cool, too, like, if he was shuffling aimlessly around the Rose Garden muttering incoherently with his mouth hanging open and his eyes glazed — but then he’s doing that already, so you get all the great zombie effects without the actual eating of brains. So hooray for Joe Biden.

Here Comes The 2024 Election, Like A Rocket Blazing Toward America

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2024 Election

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Ep. 2738

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U.S. Expands Hormuz Blockade & VA Fairfax Deaths Investigated | 4.17.26

U.S. Expands Hormuz Blockade & VA Fairfax Deaths Investigated | 4.17.26 [Member Exclusive]

A ceasefire goes into effect between Israel and Lebanon, a tragic murder-suicide rocks Virginia, and Dairy Queen deploys AI in the drive-thru. Get the facts first with Evening Wire.
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Ep. 2737
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Evening Wire: Lebanon Ceasefire Begins & Murder-Suicide Rocks VA | 4.16.26

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Here Comes The 2024 Election, Like A Rocket Blazing Toward America