Feminist Marries Herself … Then Cheats On Herself

Feminists can’t do anything right.

In case you missed it, feminists have turned to the sad ritual of “marrying” themselves after they pursue careers, sleep around, and end up alone past the natural years of childbearing. But it turns out, they can’t even stay committed to themselves.

One such feminist named Sophie went through with the whole wedding spectacle: the white bridal dress, bridesmaids, the flowers, you name it. But soon she grew tired of herself and found herself in the sack with a polyamorist (someone who has multiple partners) named Ruari.

The two had a momentary, yet monogamous affair, claims Sophie.

In another twist, polyamorist Ruari ended up ditching Sophie for … himself! That’s right, he ended up saying “I do” to himself in an equally pathetic marry-yourself type wedding.

But Sophie, clearly an empowered woman, claims this was all part of the plan postnuptial, telling ITV’s This Morning that “self-marriage isn’t about never being with anyone else, however — it’s about ‘self-love’.”

“It’s saying that self-compassion and self-care is as important as romantic relationships,” continued Sophie. “It doesn’t mean you’re rejecting all other meaningful relationships in your life and becoming a nun forevermore. It means you’re rejecting bad relationships.”

“If only there were more self-love in the world, we wouldn’t need ceremonies like this. This is a statement which looks to raise the profile of self-love, saying it’s as important as romantic love and doing it as a formal ceremony as anyone else would have a wedding,” she said.

“Marrying yourself is a lifelong commitment to be responsible for your own happiness, so divorce is not an option.”

Deep.

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