Singer Carrie Underwood recently opened up about her spiritual struggles following a spate of miscarriages, admitting that she felt anger toward God.
Speaking on her new web series, “Mike and Carrie: God & Country,” Underwood spoke about the three miscarriages she suffered when trying to expand her family with husband Mike Fisher. The two eventually had their second son in 2019.
“It sounds wrong when you say it, but, it’s one of those ‘bad things that happen to other people,’ you know what I mean?” Underwood said, as reported by Fox News. “It’s not something that you ever envision yourself having to deal with.”
Underwood revealed that she took this pain to God and told Him how she felt, asking that He give her a full answer about the future of their family.
“I had an honest conversation with God, and I told Him how I felt. I was hurt. I was a little angry and, of course, you feel guilty for being mad at your creator,” she said. “And I told him we needed something. We needed to have a baby or not, ever, because I couldn’t keep going down that road anymore.”
Former pro hockey player Mike Fisher shared the pain he felt going through the miscarriages as well. “I was frustrated,” he said. “What’s the future look like, we don’t know. Are we going to adopt, are we going to… going through things in your mind.”
His frustration changed after having close conversations with God as he began to sense that they would have another child.
“I was just wrestling and probably the most honest I’d been with God. And I heard, not audibly, but I sensed that God told me that we were going to have a son, and his name’s Jacob,” Fisher said.
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According to Elizabeth Leis-Newman, the grief of losing a child through a miscarriage is about the same for most couples as losing a child in their infancy regardless of how long the woman was pregnant, an issue that the public has increasingly become more aware of in recent years.
“Another common misunderstanding about miscarriage is that a woman will experience less grief if she loses the baby early in her pregnancy. But most researchers have not been able to find an association between the length of gestation and intensity of grief, anxiety or depression… A woman who has lost her child at 11 weeks may be as distraught as a woman who has lost her child at 20 weeks…” Newman wrote in her book “Miscarriage and Loss,” as reported by Seleni.
“The assumption that women emotionally attach in proportion to the length of the pregnancy is not always true,” wrote Donna Rother in her book “Attachment in Pregnancy.” “Eighty percent of pregnancy losses are first trimester miscarriages. Women often don’t tell others about their pregnancy during the first trimester and may try to ‘keep from getting too excited’ due to fears about a loss. However, a woman who miscarries at 8 weeks’ gestation may experience it as the loss of a child and grieve it as such, while someone else may have a later loss and experience it with less intensity.”
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