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Bill Nye’s Ice Cream Cartoon Condemns Monogamous Heterosexual Sex As Unnatural And Immoral

From the clips I’ve seen (there isn’t enough money in the world to make we watch the whole series), Bill Nye the Eugenics Guy is using his Netflix platform as a means to fly his own personal Freak Flag. Last week my colleague Amanda Prestigiacomo reported (hilariously) on Nye’s excruciating segment featuring some TV star wearing an ’80s Flash Gordon costume singing about a world full of sexual choices through her vagina, or something …

Must I choose between only John or Joyce?

Are my options only hard or moist?

My vagina has its own voice

Not vocal cords, a metaphorical voice

Sometimes I do a voice for my vagina

Please don’t tell me I’m the only one who does that

I can’t answer if she is in fact the only one who gives her vagina a voice, but a world in which she is sounds like a very nice place.

Anyway, the song is a lie. Billy Nye is definitely not about making a choice about how you govern your own sexuality. That is not what he wants. What he does want is a world full of people getting their freak on with multiple partners of every conceivable gender. Bill Nye wants a world filled with loveless sex, unbridled lust, and orgies. And in order to convey that deadly message to your children, the sinister Nye uses a cartoon featuring ice cream cones.

He is not even subtle. In the cartoon embedded below, the “Vanilla Cone” is a Christian who believes in monogamous heterosexual sex and converting those who do not. In the end, however, it is Vanilla who is converted, who finally loosens up and discovers true joy as a slut eager to have sex with everything and everyone:

Chocolate Chip Mint: Come on, Vanilla, nobody wants just one flavor of ice cream.

Vanilla: I do.

Chocolate Chip Mint: Haven’t you ever wanted to be in a Neapolitan?

Vanilla: [sweating] I, I, I can’t. I can’t.

Chocolate: Come on, it’s natural. …

Vanilla: [prays] Big Ice Cream In The Sky, help me.

Then, as if his prayer is answered, Vanilla licks Pistachio and exclaims, “It’s good!”

The joyous ice cream orgy then begins.

Even though my personal values are to aspire to Christian values, my highest political value is one of personal freedom; live and let live. Therefore, other than it being yet-another sign of how off-the-rails our increasingly debauched society has become, I don’t really care about a message that says consenting adults can have whatever sexual relations they want with other consenting adults.

As much as I believe that the temporary pleasure of loveless sex and promiscuity destroys any chance at true happiness, that this kind of behavior hollows out body, soul and spirit, it is none of my business what other people do.

If that was Nye’s message, it would be difficult to argue with. But Nye is not about live and let live. That video is not about leaving people alone to make their own personal choices. The message is not about governing your own sexuality.

The “moral” of Nye’s busybody message is that monogamous heterosexual sex is unnatural, immoral and boring. He is pressuring and lecturing people to get with it, to cast off the chains of their unnatural parochial sexuality and embrace an unhealthy and destructive lifestyle.

What is so appalling about this is that Nye is cloaking himself in the robe of science and hoping to transmit this message to our children — to tell our children that it is anti-science to embrace a heterosexual and monogamous relationship, that true happiness can only be found in sexual perversion.

There is only word for that: demonic.

Hat tip to Pajamas Media, who has more on this.

Follow John Nolte on Twitter @NolteNC. Follow his Facebook Page here.

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