Celebrity chef, author, and travel documentarian Anthony Bourdain in his final text messages before he took his own life complained about fame and told his girlfriend, Italian actress Asia Argento, that she was “careless” with his heart.
Bourdain, described by some of his closest friends as a tortured soul, hanged himself in June 2018. Some of his last correspondence by text is included in an unauthorized biography by journalist Charles Leerhsen, The New York Times reported Tuesday.
“I am okay. I am not spiteful. I am not jealous that you have been with another man,” Bourdain sent to Argento one day before he killed himself, reveals “Down and Out in Paradise: The Life of Anthony Bourdain.” “I do not own you. You are free. As I said. As I promised. As I truly meant.”
Bourdain was reportedly heartbroken over photos of Argento with another man, which were published online days before he killed himself.
“But you were careless[.] You were reckless with my heart. My life,” he wrote to the actress.
The same day, the “Parts Unknown” host told his close friend and ex-wife Ottavia Busia-Bourdain that he hated fame.
“I hate my fans, too. I hate being famous. I hate my job,” the 61-year-old texted. “I am lonely and living in constant uncertainty.”
The following day, Bourdain texted Argento, “Is there anything I can do?” After she responded, “Stop busting my balls,” the host wrote back, “OK,” and hanged himself, the book says.
Argento and Bourdain had a tumultuous relationship, which was captured in filmmaker Morgan Neville’s documentary “Roadrunner.”
According to interviews with people close to Bourdain, the chef was taken by Argento as soon as he met her. One friend told a magazine Bourdain was “absolutely lovestruck,” adding, “He would have done anything for her, and that was a little red flag for some of his friends,” Vanity Fair noted.
Bourdain even paid off an accuser of Argento, who is ironically a #MeToo darling. “Anthony was afraid of the possible negative publicity that such person, whom he considered dangerous, could have brought upon us,” she said.
Recalling the loss of Bourdain, popular podcast host Joe Rogan this month alluded to a “terrible relationship” the chef was in, seemingly referring to Argento, The Daily Wire reported.
Notably, in September 2018, the actress reacted to the backlash. “People say I murdered him. They say I killed him. I understand that the world needs to find a reason. I would like to find a reason too,” she told the Daily Mail. “People need to think that he killed himself for something like this. He cheated on me, too. It wasn’t a problem for us.”
Rogan added that there always seemed to be a “fire burning” in Bourdain that his friend just “couldn’t put out.”
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a free hotline for individuals in crisis or distress or for those looking to help someone else. It is available 24/7 at 1-800-273-8255.
Related: ‘F***ed For A While’: Rogan Gets Emotional Remembering Late Pal Anthony Bourdain